Friday, July 30, 2010

FFF: I'm too sexy for my sweater

I felt really bad yesterday about getting caught eating rocks and woodchips because stuff like that makes my human worry and get kinda mad. So, I thought it'd be nice to do something to make her un-mad at me. Y'know, something to remind her how super cute and smart and, uh, obedient I can be. At least when rocks and woodchips aren't involved.

I wasn't feeling good enough to learn another dance move, and don't think the Cabbage Patch is really as totally rad as Dancing Kim says it is. So I went with something that's easy to do, makes me look supercute, and always makes my human happy... supermodeling!

And I even wore a goofy sweater. Because that's how much I love my human.

Of course she was superexcited about the whole supermodeling thing. Said she needed a special picture of me for something and thought the sweater would "make a perfect shot" or whatever. This was good news to me because getting the perfect shot usually = lots of cookies.

After puking up a rock and a woodchip AND skipping a whole entire breakfast - I was kinda hungry. So I totally worked it for the camera. My modeling was so super, a group of people stopped to watch. They were from New York and said San Francisco has the "most stylish dogs".

I think they were talking about my goofy sweater.

Thursday, July 29, 2010


My human's making me do another one of those confession things again today because I got caught doing something I'm totally not allowed to do. So here goes:

Hi, my name is Puglet and I'm a rock/woodchip-aholic.

Yeah. It's true. See those things in today's picture? Well, they came out of me. And in case you think that's one of those optical delusion things, here's a
nother picture:

Not only did I get caught, but we almost had to take another trip to the vet again because of the rock/woodchip eating. Because last night I started to feel a little sick. And when it came time to eat breakfast this morning, I didn't touch my food. Couldn't even look at it. Blech.

The not-eating part freaked my human out, big time. She s
ays that for me to skip a meal, something has to be wrong. Very, very wrong. And I guess she was right because about an hour after she pumped me full of mineral oil and called the vet to make an appointment, I puked.

And out came the rock and a woodchip. Which is why I got in trouble and have to do the confession thing again. I know eating rocks and stuff is bad. And I guess I understand why my human gets mad. Sort of. But I'm pretty sure the -aholic thing means it's hard for me to stop doing it.

I mean, the world is full of rocks and woodchips. Sometimes the temptation is just too much.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Even though you all made me feel a lot better about Frank and his amazing new trick, I just couldn't stop thinking about all the cookies and attention he'll be getting. So I spent the whole entire day yesterday trying to master the rollover. I even asked Dutch for help, but still never got past the cockroach phase.

My human could tell I was frustrated, so she suggested I learn some other new trick. Something even better than Frank's amazing rollover. This seemed like a much better idea than spending another minute stuck in cockroach pose, so I asked my friend Google for some ideas.

Google must have been having a bad day or something because "learn how to dance" was the best idea on a very short list. But I figured dancing was better than cockroaching so I watched a video and learned a fresh new move called The Cabbage Patch.

If you've never Cabbage Patched before, it's waaaaay easier than rolling over and has the potential to score you just as many cookies. Maybe even more. Here's the video I learned from, if you want to give it a try. The dance teacher lady is kinda weird, but she makes The Cabbage Patch supereasy to learn.

Take that, Frank!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010


Houston, we have a problem. And its name is my friend Frank the Pug.

Well, I guess Frank isn't exactly the problem. The problem is Frank just learned a brand new trick. A very cool new trick. A very cool new trick that I cannot do.

This is a problem because, until now, Frank's biggest talent has been sitting. You heard me, sitting. Frank's really good at it, but it's not exactly the kind of trick that gets you noticed. Or cookies. But this new trick of his is an attention hogging, cookie making machine.

And I am totally jealous.

It used to be that I had all the talent and Frank was just "cute". Not anymore. Check out this video of Frank + his dad showing off the new trick. With music and everything.

Yeah, see what I mean? I'd show a video of me learning to roll over, but it's just too humiliating. And not really all that different from today's picture. No matter how hard I try to roll, I always just get stuck on my back. Like a "big pugly cockroach", my human says.

But wait, it gets even worse. Turns out Frank's not the only one who can roll over. Dutch can too. Dutch! The same Dutch who took 2 entire weeks to learn how to hold a tote bag on his nose for the Green Pug video. Ugh.

Can anyone else here do the rollover thing? I'm dying to know what the secret is. Dutch won't tell me and I don't want Frank to know he can do something I can't.

Monday, July 26, 2010


If you think my human lets me do cool stuff, you'd be superimpressed with my friend's Miley + Boka's human. She takes them to all kinds of fun places. And sometimes I get really lucky and she invites me (and Dutch) to go too.

Well, last Friday I totally got lucky.

Because last Friday was take your dog to baseball night at the Oakland A's stadium. Thanks to Miley + Boka's mom, this is the second time I've seen a real, live professional baseball game. In one of those giant baseball places most dogs only ever get to see on TV.

This year I even got scratched behind the ear by a real, live professional baseball man. My human said he's a catcher for the White Sox? I don't know exactly what that means, but it's probably very cool.

Dutch would like me to mention that he's been to see the A's three times "and survived". I saw him yawn a few times during the game and was asleep by the 4th inning, so I don't think he's much of a baseball fan. I'm thinking maybe they don't have baseball where he comes from. I mean, he just doesn't seem to get it. And he insists on wearing the team-bandana thingy like some sort of Amish hat. I didn't see any other dogs doing that.

My friends Phoebe + Zoey also got lucky on Friday because they got invited to come too. Phoebe didn't seem all that into things at first, but halfway through the game she went nuts and started cheering (or booing?) like crazy. Zooey was the luckiest out of everyone. A man with a camera took her picture and put her video on this ginormous TV (technical term: Jumbotron) so the whole entire stadium could see her cuteness.

I didn't pay much attention to the baseball part of our night out with the Oakland As. I was having too much fun playing on people's laps and eating snacks. I think Boka was the only one who actually watched the game. So if you're wondering who won, you'll have to ask him.

Friday, July 23, 2010

FFF: Optical Illusions

If you've never seen an optical illusion before, don't feel bad. I'd never seen one either until my human showed me this picture of a little tiny Dutch standing next to a great big giant scooter thing.

Just in case you've never seen a scooter before either, here's a totally humiliating picture of me standing on one. As you can see, there's nothing great big or giant about it.

Now. I was there when my human took that picture of Dutch. And I know, for a fact, that the scooter thing (technical term: Vespa) was not ridiculously huge. Dutch didn't shrink just for the picture either. Apparently that's what an optical illusion is all about - making things look different than they really are.

Optical illusions can also make your head look very big, like in this picture of Lily.

Or give you huge feet and very long legs. Like a labrador.

Optical illusions are pretty cool - but they can also be a little scary. Because they are totally capable of turning a big freaky fish into a GINORMOUS freaky fish that could swallow a pug whole. In one gulp. Without chewing (if fish even chew).

If you're wondering what sort of crazy camera voodoo made all this happen, I think it has something to do with the lens my human used and the way she used it. I kinda wish there was a way to make optical illusions real. Not the freaky giant fish (that would be superscary) but having a pug-sized Dutch would almost be like having a real pug brother.

Thursday, July 22, 2010


A trip to Pt Isabel was another adventure we had over the weekend that I totally forgot to tell you about. We met Lily, Harry and their people there and had a whole bunch of fun. Now, if you don't live near San Francisco, I'm sorry if what I'm about to tell you makes you jealous. Because on top of being a whole bunch of fun, Pt Isabel has two things I've never seen at a dog park: food and bathtubs.

VERY cool.

Let's start with the food (of course). A sign says the food is open 8AM-5PM, but when I tried to order from the food window, no one came. At first I thought I was too short for the food-window people to see me, so I got Dutch involved. He was plenty tall to see, but the food people never came to take our order.

I wasn't so happy about this. I mean, why open a food window if you're not going to share your food? That's not cool at all. Of course I whined about this to my human and she explained that the food window is for people, not dogs. And sure enough, when she visited the window, a nice lady was there to feed her.

Tip#1: when visiting Pt Isabel, make your human visit the food window for you.

After you've played and are done eating, you can also take a bath at Pt Isabel. I know this might not sound very exciting if you don't like baths. I met a Lab named Ruby in the baths and she didn't seem into the whole bath thing. But when I asked her why, she said it's not the bath part that's bad - it's that a bath means the fun is over and it's time to go home.

But I like baths. Mostly because I like to play in the mud and no human wants to pet a muddy pug - but everyone wants to pet a clean pug. If baths = more attention, I'll totally take one. I even tried to get one at Pt Isabel. But my human said I wasn't dirty enough.

Tip#2: If you go to Pt Isabel, make sure you get dirty enough to take a bath.

I'm sure Pt Isabel isn't the only place on earth that has food and baths. Do you have a supercool dog place where you live??

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


I've been so focused on the whole secret-life-of-my-human issue that I totally forgot to tell you about an adventure we had on Saturday.

Since Frank was here and he's not compatible with hiking, we skipped the cows and went to a dog show instead. It wasn't a show-dog show though. It was more of a fun show with costumes and prizes and stuff. Zoey and Phoebe were there and I heard they were dressed up like flying monkeys. It was too hot to wear a costume by the time we got there, so I didn't see what they looked like as monkeys. But it also meant we didn't have to get dressed up, so I was cool with that.

My spotted friend Miley was also at the dog show. Her human does Dalmatian Rescue and had a booth thing to teach people about rescues. There were supposed to be Dalmatians for adoption, but they didn't show up so me and Frank and Phoebe and Zoey stood in for them. We got loads of attention and a whole bunch of cookies, but I didn't love being trapped in the pen. Especially since Dutch got to be free and was totally gloating about it.

I'm not sure why I didn't get to be in any contests. I'm sure I would have won something, and even if I didn't, Frank would have. We could have split the prize or something. But no. We just got to spectate and pretend to be spotted. Miley won 4th place for being pretty and said we could share her ribbon. I'm not sure I want to win a pretty contest, but I liked posing with the ribbon.

Oh yeah. The giant dog heads? No idea. Anyone here know what they're all about??? Some reporter dude took a picture of my human taking a picture of us with them and we ended up in the newspaper. I haven't seen the picture, but news coverage is almost as cool as a ribbon, right?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


So last night it was finally time for the big interrogation scene. Frank Week was over. Dutch was hiding. My human was totally sleep deprived. Things couldn't have been any perfecter.

Google said the fastest way to get a confession is to mix relaxation with, uh, terror. So I waited for my human to get comfortable on the couch, then tuned into my inner psycho and tried to scare her into talking. I made noises and scary faces. I hovered over her head, trying to intimidate my human the way humans sometimes intimidate dogs.

But nothing. Not a word. Not a peep. Definitely no confession.

And not because my interrogation techniques weren't good or anything. No. She didn't spill the beans because she was sleeping. Yeah. Google didn't mention that when you combine sleep deprivation with relaxation the interrogate-ee might decide to take a nap.

So, the secret lives on for another day. I haven't given up or anything. But when I saw my human lying there, all sleep deprived and napping, joining her just seemed like the right thing to do. So I curled up with my human and tried to forget about all the things she may or may not be doing with other dogs and pugs in particular.

And then I slept.

Monday, July 19, 2010


So, me and Frank spent the whole weekend depriving my human of sleep. I don't understand how sleep deprivation is supposed to help with interrogations, so far it's just made my human all grumpy.

Dutch was getting grumpy too, so I finally told him my suspicions about our human. He thinks I'm just freaking out because I am an "obnoxious camera hog" who doesn't want to share the spotlight with anybody. Well, of course I don't. But that has nothing to do with whatever it is my human is doing with other dogs behind my back.


I found more possibly incriminating stuff on my human's computer and yesterday she took Frank out for a walk (by himself, weird - right?) and when they got back Frank said my human took pictures of another pug while they were out!?! A pug named Pablo with a great big tongue. Who I have never met before in my whole entire life.

Frank decided he doesn't want to be around for the interrogation scene. Just in case my human really is a doggie serial killer. But today is the last day of Frank Week so tonight after he leaves, I interrogate. Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with some sort of explanation. If I don't come back at all, remember to please call 911.

Friday, July 16, 2010

FFF: Frank!

Hi internet. This is Frank. That's me sitting up there (I'm very good at sitting). Puglet got in trouble for trying to kill me and the camera so his mom said I could be the blog today. She said it doesn't matter if I don't say all the right things because you are all really nice. And you like pugs. And because Friday is about pictures, not talking.

So here are some pictures of me:

This is me and Puglet at the beach having a race. He said if I won I could eat all his cookies for the rest of the day. It was only early in the morning and I like cookies a lot so I ran as fast as I could.

I thought we were having fun. And I think we were - until I started to win the race. That's when Puglet freaked out and kind of attacked me. It wasn't like one of those shark attacks on TV or anything, but I don't think he was 100% playing.

It was a little bit scary, so I ran even faster.

I ran SO fast, I beat Puglet at the race and won all future cookies for the rest of the day. He also got in trouble for attacking everything so his human wouldn't let him be in any more pictures. That means I got lots of picture-cookies too. It was so much fun!

Thursday, July 15, 2010


I kinda got in trouble yesterday for doing what you see in today's picture. And as part of my punishment, my human said I have to confess. So here goes:

y name is Puglet and I'm an obnoxious camera hog.

I am such an obnoxious camera hog that I will sometimes attack other dogs if they come near my cookies - uh, I mean camera. It makes my human reeeally mad but totally scares other dogs away so I ignore her madness and attack anyway. Like this:

And yesterday I hit a new low in camera hogging. I tried the usual attack-method to keep Frank away from the camera, but he must have thought I was playing or something because he didn't run away. This has never happened before and I guess I kinda panicked... and decided to attack the camera instead.

You have no idea how mad my human got at me for doing this. Especially because I was wet and sandy and apparently cameras don't like water or sand. Yeah. We're talking reeeally suuuuper mad.

Sooooo mad that she's now making me tell the whole entire internet about my camera-hogging problem. And sooooo mad that she made me let Frank be the star of every picture for the rest of the day. Which meant he not only got to look the cutest, but also got to eat all the cookies. All of *my* cookies.

Frank the camera hog.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


Before moving on to PHASE TWO: interrogation scene, I thought it'd be a good idea to ask Google what the best way to interrogate is. Y'know, since I've never technically interrogated anyone before and my Cheeto-Face doesn't make my human melt the way it used to.

Most of Google's interrogation techniques are waaa
ay too complicated for a pug with no thumbs to pull off. Except for one: sleep deprivation. Having Frank around makes this technique very easy because his snoring and our midnight wrestling-sessions are already depriving my human of sleep. She won't suspect a thing!

The only thing about sleep deprivation is it takes time, so the interrogation scene won't be happening for a few more days. But
I do have some seriously exciting news that you don't have to wait until later to hear. Ready? OK, here it is:

I am officially no longer fat!

That's right. The big fat souvenir from my stay at the House of Meat has been hiked out and starved off of me. And according to the official Pet Smart weigh-in scale, I am now a very slim 24.6 lbs. Woo Hoo!

Since I'm so far below the magic 25lb mark, I thought my human would let me pick out a whole bunch of new treats. But I thought wrong. Even though I'm skinny and made all sorts of begging faces, I was only allowed to get one treat. And it had to be low-fat.


My human is totally going to regret this decision when it's time for the interrogation scene.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Phase One went off last night without a hitch. My plan worked perfect and nobody got broken. Frank was kinda freaked out by the whole "call 911" thing and didn't want to do anything he might get in trouble (or shot) for doing. I didn't really want to get in trouble (or shot) either, so I dressed up in a top secret disguise.

The whole thing went down like this: while I hacked into the computer and looked for incriminating stuff, Frank acted as a decoy and pretended to be me. My disguise/Frank's decoy-ing was so good (or my human's brain is so gimpy) no one noticed I was gone. Frank didn't get in any trouble (or shot) and I found LOADS of evidence.


"Diza. Space Needle. Hot Day."

Yup. Seattle. Pictures of pugs. Lots of pugs. Pugs that aren't me. The good news is I didn't see any evidence of bloodshed, so I guess my human isn't a serial killer. The bad news? Uh, my human left me to go "shoot" strange cute pugs in a totally different state. Oh yeah, and she also gave away my food.


"Hendrix. Cookie Toss. Anticipation."

I found lots of other, uh, "exhibits" - but you get the idea. The big question is: now that I know the truth (or at least part of the truth) what should I do about it? Do I go ahead with Phase Two: Interrogation Scene, or should I just forget about Seattle and the stranger pugs and all the food of mine my human gave away?

Monday, July 12, 2010


So, I'd planned on confronting my human with some tough questions this weekend. Y'know, about Seattle, the other pugs, whether or not she's a serial killer. But before I had a chance to spring an interrogation scene on her, she surprsied me with another surprise.


Yup. Frank the Pug is staying with us again. And this time it's for a whole entire week while his people visit where they were born (Indiana), then play this thing called Wheel of Fortune on TV. I'm so glad his humans are world travelers like this because it means I get to have a part-time pug brother. I mean, Dutch is a good brother and everything - but he's not a pug.

I have big plans for Frank Week. Most of them involve major playing,
but tonight we'll put the play on hold for a little while. Because tonight is Phase One of Operation No Secrets. With Frank's help, I'm going to break into my human's computer and gather the evidence I need to solve the Seattle/my-human-might-be-a-doggie-serial-killer mystery.

I'm pretty sure you're right about my human not being a dog-shooting serial killer. And I haven't seen a shovel lying around the house or anything. But if tomorrow comes and there's no Daily Puglet, please call 911.

Friday, July 9, 2010

FFF: Rest in Pieces, Henrietta

If you're a regular here on The Daily Puglet, I don't need to explain who Henrietta is. Or how important she is to Dutch. But for anyone who doesn't already know, Henrietta is a rubber chicken in a bikini and she is just about the only thing in the world Dutch gets super-excited about. He LOVES Henrietta.

Dutch isn't the only one who has a thing for rubber bikini-wearing chickens. I find Henrietta kind of hard to resist, and pretty much every dog I've ever met has wanted a piece of her. This can cause major problems for Henrietta (top photo) and even bigger ones for Dutch (below).

Henrietta always comes with us to Pug Sunday and all the pugs totally love her. Dutch is very protective, but he's too much of a wimp to stop other dogs from playing with her. Even if the other dogs are little pugs like me. We took these pictures of me and a pug named Yoshi playing with Dutch's beloved Henrietta at last weekend's PugSun. It was Henrietta's last.

Yesterday morning Henrietta lost her head on the beach near the big orange bridge. It happened just after sunrise when a weimaraner we've never met before stole her from Dutch. By the time our humans got involved, it was too late. Henrietta was already in pieces.

My human said there will always be more rubber chickens (I think this was Henrietta #6), but that doesn't mean we're not sad to see Henrietta go.

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Alright, I suck at keeping secrets. And I'm sorry if this freaks anyone out, but this is the conversation I had with Lily (that's Lily up there in today's picture)...

ME: So, do you know how our people know each other?

LILY: Yes! They met a few weeks ago in a saddle.
ME: Uhhhhhh. You mean, in Seattle?
LILY: Duh, that's what I said! Saddle! Where they make the coffee.

The coffee? That kinda confused me, so we went back and forth for awhile before I was 100% sure were were talking about 1) our humans and 2) Seattle. Lily seemed to know a lot about the Seattle trip (sort of) so I tried to get some info out of her.

ME: Do you know what they were doing in Seattle?
LILY: Yesssss.
ME: Well... what were they doing?
LILY: Shooting dogs!
ME: Our humans. Shooting dogs.
LILY: Yup!

This made no sense at all. Even less sense than the saddle. And the coffee. And something about a cow's belly?? No idea. But Lily said she saw pictures. She knew all about Fiona and Frank + Bean, said there were other pugs too. A lot of other pugs. And our humans shot all of them. And then came home. To us. Like nothing ever happened.

I remember what it was like to be a semi-puppy and know how complicated and confusing the world can be. But Lily said she is "300% positive" our humans met in Seattle when they were shooting dogs.

I've watched enough episodes of that Law & Order show to know that the people you least expect to do the shooting are always guilty of murder. What if my human is keeping the whole Seattle thing a secret from me and Dutch because she's some kind of.... doggie serial killer???

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


Since my human is all about the surprises these days, we didn't hike with the cows last Saturday like we almost always usually do. Instead, we went to this place near the cows called Lake Anza. That was the first surprise.

The second surprise was finding a very weird thing on the way to the lake. It kinda looked like a rock, but it didn't smell like a rock. And it walked. This totally freaked me out.
My human said the rock-thing was just a turtle and turtles are nothing to get freaked out about, but I mean, wouldn't a walking rock freak you out??

It would. Trust me.

Anyway. Surprise #3 was a dog named Lily and her brother Harry. I'd never met them before, but somehow our humans knew each other. Lily is a semi-puppy and was a ton of fun to play with. Her brother Harry is a lot like Dutch: black, white, older than me and not so much into playing.

Surprise #4 came at the very end of the day. Me and Lily were hanging out in the back of her car waiting for our humans to stop talking when she told me a secret. A secret so, uh, freaky that it me out even more than the turtle. And I'm not sure if I should tell you about it or not, because it might totally freak you out too.

{to be continued}

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


So, my human has needed a new phone for like ages now. No big deal, right? Right. Except my human hates shopping, doesn't like new technology, and can't stand anything that might be a hassle. Somehow, I guess buying a new phone involves all of those things.

Especially when you go to the Verizon store by our house. And some {quote} "Sales Witch" laughs at you and says you're "too old" to buy the phone you think you want. I've never used a phone, so I have no idea how you can be too old for one, but apparently the one my human wanted is made for 15 year olds. And she is waaaay older than that.

Talking to the Sales Witch sent my human running to Google, who totally helped her find a different phone to buy. But no way was she going back to where the witch lives, so I said we should go to the place she got HAL4 (our computer) because when HAL 1, 2, and 3 died right after we got them, the place made everything OK without any kind of hassle.

My human liked that idea, so over the weekend we took a trip to Planet Best Buy. I picked out an even cooler phone than the one my human (and Google) thought she wanted. It has a real keyboard with buttons and stuff that doesn't make her angry like the touchy screen ones do. Some guy called a 'guru' even showed her how to use it so her gimpy brain wouldn't explode. And when there was some problem that made her new $50 phone turn into $170 phone, the Best Buy people totally fixed it. Just like when all the HALs broke.

The coolest thing about our trip to Planet Best Buy is that our new phone lets you twitter and facebook and stuff. Now my human will have no excuse not to help me social network :)

Monday, July 5, 2010


So, my human went to a meat-fest yesterday - just like the one on Memorial Day that me and Dutch weren't allowed to attend. And just like on Memorial Day, we weren't allowed to go to this one either.

But unlike the Memorial Day Meat Fest, this time my human brought us home a doggie bag! Actually, it was one of those tupperware things, but when she walked through the door carrying something other than car keys, I knew it must be for us. This never happens, and I was soooooo excited. It almost made up for being left home. Alone. With the scary firework noises.

That is, until she opened the tupperware thing to give us a taste of what she brought home. And what was inside it was not meat. Or anything even remotely meaty. The stuff was kind of the same color as meat, but smelled funny and had little chewy black things stuck in it. The black things were super bitter and I spit them out, which is good because my human said you're not supposed to eat them.

I forget what the stuff my human brought home is called, but it's low in calories and supposedly a "traditional 4th of July food". I've given up trying to keep track of all these weird Special-Days, but I really want to know if there's a day with a "traditional food" that tastes more like, say, Popeye's fried chicken??

Friday, July 2, 2010

FFF: Splash!

My human said I have to make today's post about Dutch because he had such a bad time camping in the wilderness. She's the one who forgot the tent, so I don't know why *I* have to give up my Freeze Frame Friday. But if it makes Dutch forget how much he hates camping, I'll go along with it.

So... here's Dutch with his #2 favorite toy, The Rainbow Ball (Henrietta Rubber Chicken is #1). I'm not entirely sure why he's just standing there like a dork, staring at the ball like that. I guess my human wasn't sure either, which
is probably why she took a picture of him doing it.

Ball? Is that my ball? My #2 favorite Rainbow Ball??

And, here is Dutch about 3 seconds later, attacking his #2 favorite toy. If you look reeeeally close, you can see The Rainbow Ball drowning under the water. My human (and her camera) got really wet during the making of this picture, so I hope you think it's cool. Even though I'm not in it.


PS: Just because Dutch hates camping doesn't mean I can't do a Freeze Frame, right? My splash might not be as cool as his, but at least it didn't get everyone all wet. I mean, my little squeaky tennis ball is like TINY compared to The Rainbow Ball.

Uhm, splash?

Thursday, July 1, 2010


Thanks for listening to Geraldo's, uh, I mean Dutch's "Camping Exposé" yesterday. I still don't see what's so awful about spending time in the great outdoors, but Dutch has made it very clear that he's never setting paw in the wilderness ever again. Unless there's an RV (??) involved.


I was so excited about our trip to Tahoe that it took me two whole days to notice a shopping bag with my name on it sitting in our livingroom. Can you believe my human forgot to give me half my birthday presents?? Forgetting a tent is one thing, but forgetting to give me a bag full of potentially edible birthday gifts? That's borderline unforgivable.

Especially when the bag of potentially edible treats is from Pugnacious (my new favorite non-wilderness place in the whole entire world) and has a package of dried salmon skins in it. HOLY COWPIES are these things TASTY. You have no idea. Really, you don't.

My human says the skins are the stinkiest thing she's ever smelled in her whole entire life, but that's probably what makes them taste so good. I already have stinky breath, so it's not like adding a little more stink is going to hurt anyone. Right?

There were other, less stinky, things in the bag too: a giant black hoof, some bullypenis, and Himalayan Yak milk chews (thanks BellaT for bringing the tastiness of Yak into my life!). I was hoping the green-lipped mussels from my human's mysterious Seattle trip would be in the bag too, but no such luck.

I wonder if the missing mussels means there are more surprises that Miss Gimpy Brain forgot about. Google says it's bad manners to ask someone to give you a surprise, so I'm not sure how to get my human to remember. Does anyone have experience retrieving missing surprises??