I wish I could blame a hike for making me so late again today, but this time it's my human's fault. She was running around all morning getting ready to cheat on me (again) tomorrow and we finally just got home.
She gave away all my cookies last weekend so I knew she'd be making a run to the dogfood store to get some more. I figured I could score free snacks from the checkout lady and complete the first phase of Operation Bacon.
Phase One: convince my human I'm not too tubey to eat a Bacon Shake.
The last time I weighed in, I had a really bad scale day (26.7lbs). But the scale was at my friend Lulu's vet and I thought their scale just sucked. I was afraid my human might remember the number and say no to the Shake, so I suggested we weight me in again today on the official dogfood store scale.
Uhm, yeah. Bad idea. The official scale said I'm even tubier than Lulu's vet's scale. I peed a million times and everything but I'm still officially 1.8 lbs over my 25lbs or no-treats weight limit.
Thank Bacon Mr. Skinnyneck wanted to show off his weight perfection because the official scale said he's tubey too! Yep. Mr I-never-gain-weight is usually 68 lbs but today the scale said 70.
My human totally sucks at math so I pointed out that 70lbs - 68lbs = 2lbs and if you suck 2lbs of scale-induced tubiness out of me, my official weight = 24.8 and 24.8 is waaay under the 25 lb no-treat mark. Numbers don't lie so she couldn't exactly argue with me.
Phase One: mission accomplished. I don't know what Phase Two is yet, but I'm definitely one step closer to scoring a Bacon Shake.