So yesterday my human says to me hey Pug, want to do something exciting?? And of course I say yes because 1) I'm freaking bored 2) exciting could be code for bacon and 3) Dutch wasn't invited.
ME: are we going to a drive thru?
HUMAN: you'll see.
HUMAN: you'll see!
ME: will there be food of ANY kind??
I kinda got a little worried when my human stopped answering my questions. I mean, what if silence was code for trip to the vet? Uhm, no. It turns out 'exciting' and silence was code for this:
His name is Ernie and he lives next door. My friend Lulu's mom is his dog walker and she invited me over for a "play date" because Ernie is too young to have real friends or something. No idea. But obviously my human's definition of 'exciting' is waaaay different than mine.
Not that Ernie's a bad guy or anything, but he's a puppy. And the thing about puppies is humans go completely nuts over them and forget all about me.
Ernie + my human's lap = not excited
Aww, he's SO cute. Aww, look at those feet! Aww, puppy breath!! Uhm, hello. I have feet and breath too. But with Ernie it's like I'm not even there. I mean, the dude fell asleep with his paw on his junk and I swear every human within a 5 mile radius was squeeeeing and awwwwing about it.
So yeah. No bacon. No drive thru. No cupcakes. Just my new, ridiculously cute neighbor Ernie. Who my human said I better make friends with now because in a few months he'll be big enough to squash me like a bug. Awesome.
My human says I have to apologize for yesterday's gross picture. Especially to all the humans who read me at breakfast. Or lunch. Or any other time there might be food around. I really don't understand what the big deal is. I mean, poop is just food somebody else already chewed. Seriously! Whatever. The weather is icky, my life is still boring and that mouthful of poop was the best thing that's happened since our trip to Jack in the Box. Dutch says I'd be happier if I saw my food bowl as half full. Well, duh. Of course I'd be happier if my bowl was half full. 99.9% of the time it's totally empty... kinda like the spot I'm sitting in for today's picture. There's usually a plant there but I guess somebody stole it. That's right. Stole a perfectly innocent plant. Missing plant is leafy and lives in a tan pot with a few rocks:
I don't know what kind of person steals a plant, so they might be armed or dangerous or both. I'm trying to talk my human into letting me use Dutch's nose to hunt them down and steal missing plant back. That would be super exciting, right??