HOME

Home is Dutch. The beach. Carrots.
Home is a long nap on the couch with my human because traveling makes her tired and long days shooting The Other 999 make her gimpy brain even gimpier.

Home doesn't have Corn Dogs or meat grilling machines or a dude like Tiffy's dad who totally understands the magic of meat... but that's ok.  Because at home I don't have to share my human or Nikon or treats with anyone except Dutch and he's kind of afraid of me so I don't exactly have to share 100%. But please don't tell my human that.

Traveling to all the other coasts and meeting everyone has been superfun, and I can't wait to go to Portland & Seattle in a few weeks. But right now it just feels good to be home.

What is home for you?

GOODBYE MIDDLE COAST

Another airport, another bag of pretzel m+m's I don't get to eat. There's a bagel place right next to where our plane is but my human said I'm not allowed to do a review 1) because airport food always sucks and 2) the Corn Dog I inhaled last night still hasn't left the building.

Whatever that means.

Time for takeoff...

FEST-LESS

So we made it all the way to the Milwaukee place but didn't make it to Pug Fest. I guess Miss Gimpy was too tired from The Other 999 to make sure pug #1/1000 (that's me) got to have a little fun. I'm seriously starting to think she might not even love me anymore.

But it's cool. I don't need fun or love or anything else as long as Tiffy's dad is around to take care of me. Because Mr. Tiffy is a dude and dudes are awesome in ways that blonde lady humans aren't. At least my blonde lady human, anyway.

I mean, my human would never cook me up a Corn Dog. She didn't even know what a Corn Dog was until Mr. Tiffy said he could make one for me. And the magic meat griller thing he used to cook up the Corn Dog? Yeah. I'm pretty sure my human wouldn't even know how to turn one on.

Anyway.

I'm sure Pug Fest was supercool and I'm sure I totally would have had fun there. But I'm also pretty sure the Corn Dog I got to eat instead was even better. Waaaay better.

BROKEN

A poem:

Today was long.
So long, I am broken.
Tomorrow will be shorter,
with hotdogs & brats.

But when others are eating,
I will be starving.
Because I have to wait
for corn dogs instead.

NEW LOW

So, today we hit a new low on The Other 999 Pugs tour. Up until now things have been pretty ok. Getting to meet everyone has been supercool and it's been really fun to visit all the new places and smells. My human has even been letting me do a ton of bagel tests (even though the scale at Petsmart said I'm way past tubey). So having to share my human, my treats AND Nikon hasn't been so terrible... until today.

Because today we cooked hotdogs and brats for The Other 999 and nothing for me. That's right. I had to see the hotdogs+brats, smell the hotdogs+brats and even help freaking cook the hotdogs+brats but wasn't allowed to eat or even lick one.

So not fair.

Tiffy's dad felt bad that I didn't get to eat a hotdog or brat and promised to make some sort of special corn dog or something for me when we get back from Milwaukee, but that won't be for a few days and I don't even know what a corn dog is. Tiffy's dad understands the magic of meat so I know he'll totally look out for me but it still kinda sucks I didn't get to taste anything we cooked today.
Uhm, anyone ever have a corn dog??

HOUSE HOG

Hi friends, Tiffy girl here. I know this is The Pug's blog and I am clearly not The Pug, but he is occupying my dad's lap so I think it's only fair that I get to occupy his blog.

The Pug and his human have been staying at my house and I suppose we've been having fun. Yesterday we hiked at my favorite nature preserve and today we took turns enjoying a bully stick.

The Pug is a pretty good sharer when it comes to bully sticks but not so much when it comes to laps. Being the giant moose that he is, there isn't much lap leftover once he occupies it but my mom says he can have anything he wants because he is a houseguest and I just live here.

Hmpf.

BOOTED

Sorry I missed everyone on Friday. My human was crazybusy with the other 999 (of course) and I was busy trying to get over getting kicked out of Target on Thursday.

Yep. Target totally booted me.

I guess my human needed to get an umbrella and it was too hot to leave me in the car so she took me with her. Had to sit in a stupid basket, but that was ok.

I'd never been in a Target before but my friend Noodles goes there all the time so I totally didn't expect to get booted. But I guess California Targets must be different or something because I only lasted 2 minutes in there before getting the boot.

We did get the umbrella though. Even though we didn't have to use it.

HELLO MINNESOTA

We made it to state #3 late last night. It was so late I got to eat a hotdog for dinner because somebody forgot to buy pugfood and Petsmart was a closed and 7-11 is always open.

Don't get me wrong, I'm complaining or anything. I mean, its not like a get to eat hotdogs everyday. Or even ANY day. With a bun and everything.

This morning we got up super early to go scout locations in Minneap. Petsmart wasn't awake yet so I got to eat a bagel for breakfast again. It was from a place called Brueggers and kinda 'meh' but it was still a bagel and not pugfood. I hope we never make it to PetSmart.

Right now I'm cooling off in the shade before we walk back over the arch bridge. For a place that gets a ton of snow, Minnesota is pretty hot. Not like Hotlanta. Or Miami. But it is very cool, just not the kind of cool that keeps you from melting.

1 DAY, 1 PUG, 3 STATES

So, we finally made it onto the right plane and our plane finally made it to Chicago. My friend Tiffy's mom picked us up at the airport and we headed to their house to eat, play and sleep. In that order.

The jetlag timezone thing isn't as bad here as it was on the left coast so my human woke me up superearly to scout locations in Milwaukee. Tiffy's dad bought us bagels to review/eat for breakfast then we headed out to scout.

We didn't spend a ton of time in Milwaukee because we have to be in Minneapolis tonight and Tiffys house is in Illinois, but we did stay long enough to eat bagel #2 of the day at a place called Public Market. Best bagel ever. So far.

My human said we're both going to be huge from eating so many bagels and thought it'd be funny to make me stand on something that says "315 wide". No idea.

Anyway. After the scouting and the bagel we headed to the beach. Yeah. The beach. I have no idea what the name of this coast is, but the waves are much smaller and the water tastes way better.

So yeah. A whole other coast, two bagels and three different states in one day. We're going to sleep good tonight.

HONOLULU, HERE WE COME!?!

So, we're at the airport again. We didn't almost miss our plane this time but we did almost get on one going to some place called Honolulu.

We waited in line for like ever and when we got to the gate lady, she looked at our papers and asked where we're going. My human said 'Chicago' and the gate lady laughed and said no you're not. Of course this totally confused Miss Extra-Gimpy because we really are going to Chicago.

"Try Gate 84" is all the gate lady said.

Uhm, yeah. I guess our plane moved gates when we were going through the stupid security thing. So now we're at Gate 84 and our plane isn't even here yet.

If you've never been to an airport, there's not much to do. The dude next to us has food but my human already snarked at me for staring at hims muffin. Accused me of begging but I swear I was just checking it out.

Think I'm going to take a nap so i dont get in any more trouble...

See you in Chicago!!

PS: if you ever have to go to an airport, make sure you eat a lot before you go. My human just ate pretzel m+ms for breakfast and i only got to eat ONE !

A SAD GOODBYE

So, BabyMac came back and HAL4 isn't in pieces anymore. But the great bacon giveaway will have to wait until Monday. I know, I know. Not too many things are more important than bacon, but this is totally one of them.

Today we got the sad news that our friend Gracie is gone. Not gone to a new home or gone like she got lost or something. Gone like went to sleep. One last time. Forever.

Gracie had cancer. The kind you can't fix. Her people gave her to pug rescue when they found out she was sick and Pug Rescue Lady took Gracie in as a foster. When the PRL found out sick meant the Big C, Gracie became a permanent pug at Pug Mecca.

I didn't know Gracie very long, but long enough to know she was a superpug. I mean, even the C-word couldn't slow her down. It didn't make her sad. Or afraid. Or anything but Gracie. And Gracie was pretty awesome.

Her life wasn't long, but everyone I know tried their best to make it good. Pug Rescue Lady took awesome care of Gracie from day one until the Big Sleep. The other pugs at Pug Mecca didn't get upset when the cancer drugs turned her into a bit of a b-i-t-c-h (especially around food) and were totally cool about letting her rule their pack. 

I totally let Gracie have my spot in bed (and half my chewies) the time she stayed with us and didn't even argue when my human said she was "the cutest pug ever made". Because Gracie deserved all of the goodness we could give. And more.

Goodbye, Superpug Gracie. You will be missed.

PLEASE STAND BY...

BabyMac is at the computer vet getting more RAM. HAL4 is in pieces on the kitchen table because my human's brain died when she tried to give him a new brain at 3 in the am. 

Sucks.

It also sucks to be a short dog with no snout when people are giving out beef treats. Especially when you get in trouble for jumping up on people. 

PS: This blogger app thingy sucks butt so you might not even get to read this :(

DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOUR HUMAN

So, not having thumbs usually sucks. I mean, there are soooo many things I really want to do but can't. Like blog. Drive Mazda. Open the refrigerator. But last night something kinda, uhm, happened to my human that made me superglad I'm thumbless.

It all started when my human decided to cut her hair. Like, by herself. I guess it kept getting in her eyes or something and was driving her nuts. So she cut it off. Not all of it, just the stuff in her eyes. Except of course she has no freaking clue how to cut hair so it came out looking totally dorky. 

Kinda like this guy from that movie Dumb and Dumber:

Ok, maybe not that dumb. But close. So she asked Google how to fix it and Google said to hack off the ends with a razor blade. No idea how hacking off even more hair was supposed to fix things, but Google is usually right about stuff so she hacked. 


Uhm. Yeah.

Google kinda forgot to mention the part about being really careful not to shave off an eyebrow during the hair hacking. So now my human has a superdorky haircut AND is missing half an eyebrow. Definitely not a good look for her. Or anyone, really.

My human would totally kill me if I put her face on the internet, but that's where her eyebrow used to be. So if your human ever starts hacking away at their hair, tell them eyebrows, razors and thumbs don't mix. 

* * *

PS. Tomorrow.  Minus the button part.