ADIOS!

I know you missed me but you haven't missed a thing around here. Nothing. My human had another probably-not-Lupus attack right after I posted the last half-naked Santa and spent the next bunch of days in one of those Benedryl comas trying not to go to the doctor.

PROBABLY-NOT-LUPUS EYE

NORMAL HUMAN EYE

The probably-not-Lupus attack was just like what happened with her hand, except this time it was her eyes. And then the rest of her face. Of course the doctors have no idea why my human keeps puffing up, but that Prednisone stuff they gave her totally deflated things back to normal. Please don't tell her I showed you a picture of her probably-not-Lupus eye. Or the normal one with the bad hair. She'd totally freak.

Anyway.

So I didn't get 5 pounds of bacon, baby cowpies or poses with Nikon for Christmas. We didn't even have ONE day of Christmas - forget about 12. But Frank was here so I played with him and I'll add Christmas to the VERY long list of 2012 things we need to celebrate in 2013.

2012 wasn't exactly my #1 favorite year. Except for getting to meet lots of you in the fur/skin, this year was pretty sucky and I'm kinda glad it's almost over. 2013 is going to be waaaaay better. I just know it.

RAINBOW OVER PETCO = GOOD JUJU FOR 2013

Thank you all for sticking with me. Even when I was weekly. And even not-so-weekly. I'm putting and end to that tomorrow. I don't know about you & your people, but my human is waaaay more human when we're all here together. 

Adios 2012!!!!

PS: Sammy + Neko -- I totally forgot! The great big giant box wasn't for me, Dutch OR my human. It was for Kim. Yeah. That Kim is still here. The thing that came in the box is... hard to explain. I'll see if Droid can take a video.

THE ENDS

So I guess it's the end of half-naked Santa week. I don't know about you, but I'm kinda going to miss Santa and his skivvies. Not like I like looking at half-naked dudes or anything, but anything that makes humans laugh so hard they spew drinkables is a good thing. Right?

Right.

Anyway. Today is full of all sorts of ends. It's the winter solstice thingy -- the beginning of the end of short dark days. It's also the end of the world. At least if you're one of those Mayan people. No idea, but that's what the NPR radioman said. It's also the end of my human staring at HAL4 like 24/7.

Short dark days make my human SAD, so I'm happy about the beginning of that end. I'm not a Mayan, so I'm pretty sure my world isn't ending and that's cool. The best end of all? My human is finally FINALLY ready to start sending pictures out to the Other 999. The official stuff will go out this weekend, but I'm so freaking excited about it - you have no idea.

NO IDEA.

No more hikeless, blogless days. No more sleepless, grumpy stressed out human or crazy ranting about how fawn pugs soak up bad color like cute little sponges and how blue sky and green grass are just so (HBO-word) evil. Yeah. That's right. She said pugs are sponges and grass is evil. Told you. Crazy.

Cute little sponge (aka Otis, #527) before + after stuff that makes my human crazy

So, Dutch will finally get to have a birthday. I'll finally get to celebrate Thanksgiving and wear the new dorky Halloween outfit Sophie's mom gave me. We'll start going to the dog park and Pug Sunday again and I'll get to see my friends. My human will start taking pictures of Pug #1 again. WITH NIKON.

I'm very excited about all these things. My human is excited about opening mail, vacuuming out Mazda and unpacking her suitcase, but she's a weirdo. We're both superexcited that the Atlanta Pugs and (everyone else) will finally get to be happy. All we ever want is for people to be happy.

PS: As soon as my human stops leaking, I'll tell you all about this:

I mean the awesomeness inside the box. The rest is just Frank.

WILD IN THE STREETS

The only thing better than a half-naked Santa is a whole BUNCH of half-naked Santas. Running. Like down the street.

I have no idea why that dude is taking a picture of a tree with all those Santas running around, but the half-naked Santa parade was enough to make my human touch Nikon for the first time since we got back from the other coast. I mean, our neighborhood is full of half-naked dudes. Even whole-naked ones. But this whole Santa thing is totally new.

And kinda weird.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one wondering what's up with the Santas, so I asked Google about it. Uhm. Yeah. Google says the Santas "dropped trou" to raise money for the San Francisco AIDS Foundation. I'm not 100% sure what "drop trou" means, but I think it must be code for take off all your clothes, run around in your underwear and make the world a happier place. 

Go Santas!!!

SMILE LIKE A WATERMELON

I'm SO glad I was right about the half-naked Santas. I knew they would make the world a happier place. Uhm, sorry if anyone or anything got spit on. Tell your human to swallow all drinkables from now on before reading. I'm trying to get my grumpy human in a good mood -- if my plan works, I might be funnier than usual. 

Anyway. Since the half-naked Santas made everyone here feel so good, I thought it'd be cool to send them to people who could really really use some happiness. Of course miss grumpy squashed that idea.

ME: Since I can't get on a plane to make the kids in Connecticut feel better, I think we should make them a card.

HUMAN: Aw, Pug. You can be so sweet. What kind of card?

ME: Y'know. Something that might help them a feel happier. Like the half-naked Santas.

HUMAN: Uhm, it's not really ok to send a picture of dudes in their underwear to kids. 

ME: Even if the half-naked dude is Santa?

HUMAN: Especially if the half-naked dude is Santa.

ME: Ok. How about some watermelon slices? Dutch thinks they look like smiles. 

HUMAN: Watermelons would be good. 

So, we put a picture of me and the happy watermelon mural (before it got ruined) on a card and sent it to the kids in Sandy Hook. I don't know if they will ever get to read it, but I hope it makes them smile like a watermelon if they do.

SMILE LIKE A WATERMELON

HALF-NAKED SANTA WEEK

ME: ok we need to dust off Nikon. Like, NOW.

HUMAN: Pug. Can't you see I'm busy?

ME: can't you see I don't care? 

HUMAN: excuse me??

ME: Uhm. Sorry. But seriously, the world really needs some happiness. So I need your thumbs. And Nikon.

HUMAN: can't the world wait? I'm trying reeeeeally hard to get these pugs done. That will make me and 999 others happy. Isn't that enough?

ME: but the streets are full of half naked Santas!!!

HUMAN: and half naked Santas are going to make the world feel better?

ME: YES!!

Ok, so maybe pictures of Santas in their underwear won't make the world happy. But I hope the half-naked Santas make *somebody* out there laugh. Or smile. Or forget for like half a minute how sucky things can sometimes be.

Gotta give back the thumbs. More Santas tomorrow...

EVICTING MUCUS

I missed you at the end of last week, but you didn't miss a thing around here. Because even though my human tried really hard not to get sick, it totally didn't work. And you know the Mucinex stuff that's supposed to evict mucus? Didn't work either.

So my human went to the people-vet. She has that bronchitisaurus thing (again). And I guess since her body sucks at evicting mucus, they gave her some pills that are supposed to kick the brocho-whatevers butt. She still honks like a goose and sounds like a frog, but my human says she needs her thumbs back so I guess the pills are doing something.

I seriously think I need a new human.

PS: the Giant Black Thing is still sitting in the hallway. Still hasn't moved or made a peep. Still very creepy. I asked Google if it might be a treadmill but it sounds like treadmills don't just sit there and get dusty. Will keep you posted.