I'm SO glad I was right about the half-naked Santas. I knew they would make the world a happier place. Uhm, sorry if anyone or anything got spit on. Tell your human to swallow all drinkables from now on before reading. I'm trying to get my grumpy human in a good mood -- if my plan works, I might be funnier than usual.
Anyway. Since the half-naked Santas made everyone here feel so good, I thought it'd be cool to send them to people who could really really use some happiness. Of course miss grumpy squashed that idea.
ME: Since I can't get on a plane to make the kids in Connecticut feel better, I think we should make them a card.
HUMAN: Aw, Pug. You can be so sweet. What kind of card?
ME: Y'know. Something that might help them a feel happier. Like the half-naked Santas.
HUMAN: Uhm, it's not really ok to send a picture of dudes in their underwear to kids.
ME: Even if the half-naked dude is Santa?
HUMAN: Especially if the half-naked dude is Santa.
ME: Ok. How about some watermelon slices? Dutch thinks they look like smiles.
HUMAN: Watermelons would be good.
So, we put a picture of me and the happy watermelon mural (before it got ruined) on a card and sent it to the kids in Sandy Hook. I don't know if they will ever get to read it, but I hope it makes them smile like a watermelon if they do.
|SMILE LIKE A WATERMELON|