BERRY BEAR

Holy cowpies. Yesterday happened so late that I completely forgot today still needed to happen.

Duh!

Since it is sooo late, I won't tell you about the awesome stuff we did on Sunday right now. That will come tomorrow. IN THE MORNING this time! Until then, here's the other half of last week's blackberry video.

This advanced berry-picking technique is superhelpful when all the low-hanging berries are red. Jut don't blame me if it makes your human call you stupid things like 'Berry Bear'. Oh, and remember: black = yummy, red = nasty!

* * *

OOOPS - WE MISSED SOME SPECIALNESS!!
My girl/boy (uhm, hermaphrodite?) Bellatrix turned two on Saturday and Jackson in Allentown, PA had his Whelp Day on Sunday.

I already ate stuff for Bella-T (more on that tomorrow) but I'll be demanding an extra cookie for dessert to celebrate you, Jackson!

BETTER THAN NEVER

Uhm, I think all the nonstop Bedlam + Chaos might have made my human's brain collapse. It's almost tomorrow and we're just now doing my Daily. But I guess now is better than never, right?

And since I won the race back to the car, guess who gets to tell you what happened after the cow hike?

Me me me!

Ok. So after Frank almost melted and pretended to be broken, my human took us to visit the floor we put in at Harry + Lily's mom Cyndi's studio. If you're thinking this doesn't sound like much fun, you are so totally wrong. Because the floor lives in a studio and you know what happens in a studio?

Pictures!!!! And you know what pictures mean. Uh huh. Free F-O-O-D! Ok, maybe not completely free. We kinda had to work for it. We had to pose on stuff. And play with stuff. And pretty much do whatever my human told us to do so Cyndi could shoot us with her Canon.

At least one of us did everything my human said. The other one (Frank!) usually just stood there. That is until my human said the magic word. That's when Frank totally pulled out major Jimmy cuteness. Yeah. Is it just me, or is he a little too good at Jimmy'ing?

I guess Dutch must have felt totally left out (or was really hungry) because he never wants anything to do with cameras. But look at him practically hogging the whole entire picture!

Thanks for taking our pictures Cyndi! And for all the semi-free food. But next time you want to borrow my cuteness, it's totally going to cost you a Baconator.

SPECIAL FRANK EDITION

Hi internet, I'm Frank! Puglet said I could be the blog today if didn't tell his blonde lady that he ate half my food and all of my carrot. So I didn't tell and now I'm supposed to tell you about my weekend.

SATURDAY WAS LIKE THIS
By Frank

I woke up. Me, Puglet, Dutch and their blonde lady went for a walk. I barked at a bike and got in trouble. I also peed on a tree. Then we ate breakfast.

After breakfast the blonde lady took Dutch downstairs and put up a fence so me and Puglet couldn't come. This did not fly with me so I howled and barked and made noises to make her come back.

She wasn't happy but she came back. We all went in the car to the place where cows and berries live. I heard the blonde lady tell the phone we were going on a hike, but not a whole hike because of me.

A hike is just a walk on dirt, if you don't know.

We hiked. Puglet ran after cows and Dutch ran away from them. The blonde lady put me on a leash so I didn't run anywhere. Walking on dirt is harder than regular walking so I didn't want to run anyway.

The hiking didn't seem hard for anyone else, but it made me hot and tired. When I'm tired I nap. Napping in the dirt isn't as comfortable as regular napping, but a napping in the dirt is better than hiking. So I tried to take a nap. It wasn't fun so I pretended to be broken. Last time I was broken the blonde lady carried me, but not this time. No.

This time the blonde lady said I'm too hefty to carry and stuck me in a giant bucket of cow water instead. She said if I was broken because of the 62 degree "heat", the cold water would fix me. I don't like water and was only pretending to be broken, but being in the cow bucket made me feel really good.

Puglet said if I beat him to the car, I could be the blog all week. But if he beat me, I could only be one day. So I ran the whole way and almost won. But Puglet is fast and I am not so he'll be back tomorrow to tell you about the rest.

Bye internet!

Frank!

BEDLAM + CHAOS

Yesterday my human brought home a superfun surprise for us. Ok, maybe it's just superfun for me and not so much for Miss Gimpy's brain or Dutch. But that's not my problem. I'm about to have 3 days of non-stop FRAAAAAAANK!

So far there's been a ridiculous amount of humping, face wrestling and crazy fun. Last night things got so insane, my human stuck us behind a gate in the guestroom so we could go as nuts as we wanted without bothering anyone. I think by 'anyone' she meant her brain, Dutch and our downstairs neighbors.

In case you've never seen two pugs have an insane amount of fun, it kinda looks like this (that's me on the bottom):

Frank 1, Pug 0

Me & Frank played and played and played until we couldn't keep our eyes open (or breathe). Then we climbed into bed and took over - uhm, I mean snuggled - with my human. That red thing we're sleeping on is her.

The fun started all over again as soon as me + Frank woke up this morning. That's when my human renamed us Bedlam + Chaos. I'm not sure who is Bedlam and who is Chaos, but my human says the next 3 days are going to be full of both. Whatever that means.

* * *

IT'S SPECIAL IN NEW JERSEY!
Happy Whelp Day to my buddy Chaz in Hoboken! My human was on the phone with New Jersey this morning and I guess people who live near the beach (like my cousin Sophie & the Jersey Puggles) all have to leave.

Hoboken isn't at the beach, but I'm still a little worried that crazy Irene might try to ruin Chaz's big day, so let's all eat cookies for him ASAP. Just in case.

Everybody on the East Coast, please be safe! Sounds like Irene cannot be trusted.

GIANT, SCARY + NON-FLYING

So remember when I found the pterodactyl-looking footprints and the giant zebra feather? Well, we've found a few more feathers since then, but no other clues. Until last weekend's berry/cow hike.

First we found more feathers. Then Dutch heard some funny noises coming from the bushes. I suggested he go find out what was making the noise and when he did, a bunch of giant creatures (?) ran out.

They kinda looked like birds, but they didn't fly - just ran. Dutch is pretty fast and probably could have caught one, but he was too afraid to try. Luckily my human was able to get a picture before they all disappeared. It's not a very good picture because Nikon wasn't with us, but here's a close-up look at the giant scary non-flying bird-like creature.

Any idea what this thing is? They are pretty HUGE (and getting bigger) and there's a whole bunch of them. Kinda scary.

* * *

TODAY ISN'T SPECIAL
But Tuesday the 23rd was because Petey Paul in Austin, TX celebrated his whelp day! Sorry Petey ~ we'll all eat double the cookies for you today. If our humans let us, anyway...

EXTRASUPER CUTE AND HAPPY

Yesterday I promised to be extrasuper cute and happy to make up for all the leaking... so here I am in a berry patch, picking tasty blackberries.

We found the patch during our cowhike last weekend when 2 of my human's 3 braincells stopped working and we got kinda lost. Not scary-lost, but lost enough to find things we never knew were there. Like berries.

At first this wasn't very exciting because berry plants are full of prickly things and bees. But a bunch of people were picking and eating so I figured berries must be really tasty if they were risking prickles and bee-stings.

The first berry I ate was so nasty I spit it out. Berry #2 was also nasty and got spit too. I was about to give up on the whole berry thing, when my human told me secret to berry picking (and eating)...

Berries are sooooooo tasty!!

PS: In case you can't watch the video, black = yummy, red = nasty.

MAY CAUSE LEAKING

Since I'm here to make the world a happier place, I don't usually talk about all the bad things that happen. Newspapers and news can fill you in on all that stuff. But last week something really sad happened right in front of our house. And I want the whole entire internet to know about it so lots of warm, fuzzy thoughts can be sent out to those who need them.

It happened last Friday afternoon when a girl named Emily was crossing the street. That's all she was doing - crossing the street. My street. Between those dumb white lines my human always makes us stay between. And she was almost to the other side when a city bus made a weird turn and hit her.

She died right away.

Emily was 23. She moved to San Francisco less than a month ago and traveled all over the planet before coming here. I didn't know Emily. My human didn't know Emily. I don't think anyone we know knew Emily. But we've walked inside those same white lines about a gazillion times. A bus could have hit us. Or you. Or someone you know.

Candles + flowers for Emily on the corner of our street.

We didn't need to know Emily to be sad about what happened. And we don't need to know her people to send them huge buckets of the warmest, fuzziest thoughts possible.

So please send many warm + fuzzies to all the people who knew Emily and will miss her. I promise to be extra cute and funny and happy tomorrow.

PLEASE FEED THE PUG

My human always wears different stuff when she goes out at night, so I thought I should wear something special for my Big Night Out at the PugPROS benefit.

But it was too warm for my #1 favorite sweater and no way I was I going to put on the stupid lobster suit. So I asked Google what else I could wear and found a picture of a pug wearing a sign around its neck that said "Do Not Feed The Pug!". I then got the genius idea to take out the "Do Not" part and add a "Please". Y'know, to encourage feeding *and* be polite.

[Humans love when dogs are polite & will usually give you extra food]

Anyway. I wasn't sure my human would go for it, but she totally said yes to my sign idea. She also said not to get my hopes up because the benefit would be full of pug-people and pug-people know how pugs are about food. They would not be fooled, she said.

Eddie the pug almost getting poked.

I'm not sure if she was right or not because most of the food was gone by the time we finally got there. And I also didn't get to wear my sign for very long because my human was afraid it might poke someone's eye out or something.

I still think wearing a Feed the Pug sign is a genius move and might have to try it again. And even though nobody handed over any food at the PROS benefit, I did find some very tasty leftover eatables. I just had to jump up on a really high table to get them.

BIG NIGHT OUT

Before I tell you about my Big Night Out at the PugPROS benefit, I want to say - for the record - that my hangover is not 100% to blame for yesterday's almost missing blog. Because even if I wasn't hungover, my human's gimpy brain totally was. She's been superbusy lately and I think her head finally imploded.

Of course Dutch blamed everything on me because he's mad about not being a pug and having to stay home. By himself. Or whatever. Uhm, it's not my fault he's not a pug.

Artemis (+ Hera)

Anyway. Our Big Night Out was awesome. The benefit was at this place called Axis Cafe, a very cool food + drink place that's usually just for humans, but they closed off the whole patio for PugPROS. Y'know, like VIP style. Pugs only.

Bodie (awesome + looking for an awesome home)

We were superlate to the party because UPS kinda screwed up and my human had to hunt Nikon down, but late is better than having to stay home alone, by yourself, because you're not a pug. And the Axis Cafe patio was full of V.I.Pugs!

Cinnamon

Pixie the no-eyed wonderpug was there, and I got to meet Eddie the pug and Max + Minnie (world famous head-tilters) in the fur for the first time. M+M's man-human must have special powers or something. His voice totally made my head tilt And I barely ever tilt. Ever.

Coco

I also made some new friends. Like little Coco from yesterday's picture. She might be mini, but she's got GINORMOUS personality. Kinda like me. And even though I went slightly poodle on Coco when she pushed me out of the way to pose for Nikon, I really do like her.

If I didn't, I would have gone completely poodle. Right?

I didn't get everyone's names, so hope we can have another Big Night Out again soon. Especially if it's going to help PugPROS save pugs!

PS: When we got home, my human took me + Dutch for a walk to the park where I found the stray ribs. On the way there, we met a man who totally knew our names even though we didn't know his. Turns out his name is Larry and even though he lives in Toronto, he knows us from the internet.

Seriously. How random is that? Hi Larry!

THE HANGOVER

Hi everyone. It's me, Dutch. I want to let you all know that everything here is OK. Pug is alive and my human isn't at the dentist and has not run away to Texas or some other tropical place.

Last night was the PugPROS rescue benefit and I do not know exactly what went on there because I had to stay home alone, by myself. I do know that today Pug had something called a hangover and that is why there was no blog.

Because I had to stay home alone, by myself, I did not get to have a hangover. So I don't know what a hangover is or why it kept Pug from making today's blog. But I do know that he did not want to get out of bed all day and was even grumpier than normal.

Pug promises to be here tomorrow. Nikon did not have to stay home alone with me, so there will be pictures.

COCOA

So.... after nearly one and a half days of pug-melting weather, we are back to this (my human says I have tell you that it isn't warmer than it looks). I'm totally fine with cool breezes and Dutch says fog makes him feel "magical".

No idea.

By my human is threatening to go live in Texas or some other place where summer actually happens. Because if it was summer, you'd be able to see San Francisco on the other side of that hill. If it was summer my human wouldn't be wearing a fleece and winter hat during our morning walks. And if it was summer, I'd get to tell you about doing FUN stuff because my human wouldn't be whining about how much the weather sucks.

And just in case you still don't understand just how sucky our non-summer summer weather is... when we were done with our walk this morning, my human stopped at the store to buy this:

To help bring back feeling to her fingers, apparently. Whatever. I mean, she's got thumbs, who cares about fingers?!? I know if I had thumbs I totally wouldn't be sitting around complaining about fog and drinking cocoa. Not 100% sure what I'd be doing, exactly, but it would be way more fun than that.

Will have to think about this some more. But if you suddenly had thumbs, what's the first thing you'd do with them?

* * *

Today isn't special or anything, but it is a Very Big Day. Nikon is coming home!!!! No more Droid pictures! Lots more cookies! Woot!

PS: Did you notice Dutch smiling for Droid in today's picture??

PPS: On our middle-of-day walk, the sky (and my human) was much happier. Like this:

You can still totally see winter from our back deck though. Under the fog blob is a great big hill (or two - it's called Twin Peaks) and that great big hill (or two) usually keeps winter out of our neighborhood. I guess the fog is getting smarter because it keeps figuring out a way to make it in...

DRINK!?!

Hey everybody! Don't even ask what happened to me yesterday. It was a loooong weekend, my human said. No idea what that has to do with me, but I guess I'm back now so...

Anyway.

I know the rest of the planet has been hot hot hot for months now. But here in SF (and places like Australia and Brazil) it's pretty much been winter all summer. Until yesterday. And yesterday was h-o-t HOT!

Holy crispy cowpies was it hot.

I have no idea how everyone here survives 3-digit heat. I mean, it wasn't even 80 yesterday and I was pretty close to melting. I did all the things you're supposed to do when it gets hot, but this didn't really make it any less hot. Really annoying.



Even more annoying than the heat was my human. Awhile ago I made the mistake of learning the word 'Drink!' and now she tells me to drink every 3 seconds whenever it's hot out. Doesn't she understand that if I was thirsty, I would drink?

Apparently not.

But you never know when someone's going to give you a snack for doing what you're told, so I usually try to listen. Or at least pretend to listen. Kinda sucks when your human catches you pretending on video, but I guess if you look cute and make her laugh it's ok.

* * *

OH OH OH! Totally almost forgot to tell you - if you live in or near SF, there is a Pug Rescue fundraiser tomorrow night. And there will be FOOD!

PugPROS Benefit @ Axis Cafe

What: Benefit for PugPROS rescue. Bring yourself, your love and your pug!

Where: Axis Café (enclosed with fire place!) 1201 8^th St. x 16th & Wisconsin

When: Wed, August 17^th, 6pm -8:30pm

Cost: $25 advanced, $30/door, Cash bar

PS: cafe = food!

• Niman Ranch Sliders
  
• Summer vegetable pizza
  
• Spinach + ricotta ravioli
  
• Sweet potato fries

More info on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=221782481192052

PUG vs. POO

My human says today's video is (and I quote) "Funny but gross and completely horrifying".

I don't think any of it is funny. And horrifying isn't exactly how it feels when there's a chain link fence stuck between you and a tasty pile of poo. Totally not fun!!



PS: In case you can't watch the video, this is how it ends:

WALRUS LIPS?

So, three guesses why I've been showing up so late the last few days. Hint: if you guessed dentist - you're right.

Today was tooth #19's big day. Nothing too exciting, my human said. But all the recent tooth drama has her all freaked out about teeth. Especially my teeth. Because I guess she brushes hers like all the time but still has problems - and my teeth haven't been brushed in 3 years, 1 month and 16 days. Which basically means never.

Hence the freak out.

We have the special little toothbrushes and the supposedly tasty toothpaste (both chicken and peanut butter flavors) but none of these things have ever passed my lips. According to my human, this is because I have lips like a walrus.

Yup. Walrus lips. Like this:


Apparently these walrus lips make it completely impossible for anything but food and water to get in my mouth. Which means no brushes. She's tried opening my mouth gently. Tried prying it open and sticking things in it. She's even tried sneaking up on it when I'm asleep - but the walrus lips do not budge.

My human says she doesn't even know if there are any teeth in my mouth to brush. I tried telling her my mouth is empty so she'd leave me alone (even though I have the same number of teeth as Dutch) but she's still totally obsessed with trying to brush my teeth.

How many of you have been toothbrushed? If you have, I'm supposed to ask if there's some secret she needs to know. If you haven't, has your human accused you of having walrus lips??

Do I really have walrus lips???

I GOT CROCKED!

Y'know, I really hope Nikon comes home soon because Droid doesn't make me look nearly as cute as I really am. But I guess it doesn't matter how cute you are when you're doing something that really really REALLY drives your human nuts. Like barking your head off.

We have a strict no-barking policy at my house and most of the time I obey that rule. I yell at the mail dude for putting junk through the slot in our door (total barkfest) and I yell back at the demon chihuahuas next door (insane barkfest), and sometimes I bark on Tuesday nights because Tuesday is garbage night and garbage night is freaking noisy. But other than that, I'm about as loud as Swedish & Meatball.

Well, last night was Tuesday/garbage night. And someone was making an insane amount of noise with our garbage cans. And I didn't really like it, so I ran downstairs and barked. A lot.

I guess my human whispered PUGLET!!!! as loud as she could (it was late and she didn't want to yell) but I was barking too much to hear her. So you know what she did when I didn't stop barking? She threw a big pink Croc at me. And not even a real Croc, but an even more hideous faux-Croc!

Yeah. She threw a pink dorky faux-Croc down the stairs at me! She claims it was supposed to scare me into shutting up. She also claims that said Croc weighs practically nothing and could never in a million years hurt me. But I don't think it's ever OK to throw a Croc at someone. Do you??

Does anyone else here (besides Frank & Scoutie) have a barking problem? What does your human do to stop it?

PS: I'm supposed to tell you that my human has never, ever worn the hideous pink faux-crocs in public. They are her "house shoes". Whatever.

THE BACONATER!

So, remember those snacks I told you about yesterday? Y'know, the ones that made the Floor Adventure better/less boring?

Well. There were a few of them. My human fed us Booty-like puffy cheese things, the crusts off her bread (lame) and chunks of apple (yuck). Lily + Harry's mom Cyndi put turkey in a tube to keep us occupied (tasty but kinda mean). But the #1 best snack of the whole day - and maybe even my whole entire life was this:

Yep. The Baconater! Cyndi's son Aaron had one (or two, or three?) of them for lunch. I wish I had words to explain how good a Baconater smells. And I reeeallly wish I knew how a Baconater tastes. But I was told I had to look with my eyes, not with my mouth. No idea.

I'm not completely sure what's in a Baconater besides bacon, but I wanted to eat all of it. One or two or three times. Or more. Anyone here ever get close enough to a Baconator to taste one????

Must have Baconator!

FLOOR ADVENTURE

In case anyone's wondering, the weather here is still completely icky (and it's still driving my human nuts). Luckily we've had some indoor adventures planned.

Lily + Harry's mom Cyndi is also a dog shooter and she just built a new studio. The new studio needed a new floor and I guess my human likes making floors so she volunteered to help. I'm not 100% convinced this qualifies as an actual adventure, but that's what my human called it.

I didn't think the floor adventure sounded nearly as much fun as, say, hiking with cows. But Lily + Harry's house is always full of good food, so the adventure part didn't really matter that much to me. As long as there are snacks, I'm happy.

OUT?

My human promised there would be snacks and there totally were (more on that tomorrow). There was also a lot of talking (including some HBO words) and a few power tools that only thumbs were allowed to touch. I tried my best to help, but every time I did, someone would yell OUT! at me. Lily got crated for not listening, so I tried really hard to stay OUT.

Floors are bor-ing!

It took about a million years for the floor adventure to be over (apparently 3 people + an Ikea product = a bad combo), but the new studio looks awesome and I did get some crazy-tasty snacks for doing nothing but staying OUT.

* * *

TODAY'S SPECIALNESS!
Let's all eat for George Brown of Madison, WI! Oh, and also for Luna (of somewhere) who celebrated her Whelp Day yesterday.

MELTDOWN

So, I'm totally missing Nikon (if you look real close you can see a tear in my eye). But that's not why I'm so late writing today.

No. I am late because it's been like an eternity since the sun has come out before noon here in San Francisco. The rest of the planet is practically melting, but here it's been cold and foggy and gross. Worst summer ever, my human says.

I'm not 100% sure I understand why, but I guess my human is part plant or something. Her brain needs sun to be happy. No sun = SAD. It's been super gloomy for weeks, but when we woke up this morning to actual rain, she completely lost it.

Instead of going for our usual walk, we piled in the car and headed south. When I asked where we were going, all I got was: someplace the sun still shines. I knew better than to ask where that was or what we'd do when we got there.

About an eternity later, we got to a place where the sun shines. I think it's called Woodside? Who knows. But whatever the place is called, there isn't much to do there. Me and Dutch had to be on leashes and that was lame. There were no trails to hike or mountains to climb so we didn't even get a post-exercise snack.

But seeing the sun again made my human happy. And if starting at the sun is all it takes to make my human happy, I guess that's a good thing.

ADIOS

It's a sad day here at Casa de Puglet. Because yesterday afternoon, Nikon got stuffed into a box and shipped off to the camera spa in El Segundo. Again.

I tried to crawl inside the box to be with Nikon, but my human said pugs need air and Nikons don't. It takes 2 days to get to the spa, so I'd probably suffocate and die halfway to El Segundo.

Dying in the back of a UPS truck didn't sound good to me, so I gave Nikon a hug and said goodbye.



My human says if she can live without Nikon for a week, I can too. Whatever. For her, a week without Nikon means a week without pictures. Big deal. For me, a week without Nikon means there will be no supermodeling. No supermodeling = no cookies. No cookies = one sad Pug.

But I guess there are sadder things than no cookies. For the past week, we've been seeing a LOST DOG sign over the place. I mean like EVERYWHERE. They are all over the city. This one was down by The Man's house and he lives like 20 miles away.

I know most of you don't live anywhere near San Francisco. But Casey the Boxer's people are trying so hard to find her, I totally want to help her get found. I mean, I'd want the whole entire internet looking for me if I got lost. Wouldn't you?

96% WORDLESS

I still suck at being wordless on Wednesdays, but here's the difference between me & Dutch when it comes to Nikon...

How does this look?

How about this?

What about up here like this?

Please stop. Please stop pointing that thing at me.

* * *

HAPPY GOTCHA!

Lincoln, I don't know where you live but I do know your humans got-cha today. Well, not today-today but on this day. Y'know what I mean. Uhm, yeah. Let's all eat cookies for Lincoln!