TWO WORDS

CAAAAAAAKE POPS! 


The dudes at Borrowlenses had them yesterday. I jimmied for like 10 minutes to get one, but it didn't happpen.

One dude said he'd let me have one if chocolate wasn't so bad for dogs. I told them I'm not a dog, I am a Pug and Pugs can eat anything. Rocks. Sticks. Poo. Whatever. If it can fit in a pug's mouth, it's eatable.

I think he almost believed me, but this is still as close as I got to a cake pop.

Tomorrow = no more posts from the stupid Driod app thingy.

WOOT.

HOW SOON IS NOW?

 Nikon is gone. HAL4 is busy getting a new, new brain. My human's brain isn't working. We haven't hiked or done anything since before Texas. And it sucks.

Things around here are kinda weird and my human keeps saying they will get back to normal but they still aren't normal. When I ask her when will things be normal again, she just says soon. I want to know: how soon is now?

WHAT THE ??

I think my human has completely lost it. She's been super weird and insanely gimpy lately, but today I caught her being full-on crazy. And its kinda freaking me out.

It happened at a place called Borrowlenses. It's where she goes to play with new Nikon stuff. I usually love going to Borrowlenses. Its full of dudes who all love me, there's usually unattended pizza (or some other tasty eatable) in the back room, and they've got more Nikon stuff than God.

What's not to like about all that?

Well. Today everything at BL was as awesome as ever... until my human started talking to one of the dudes about cameras. This happens whenever she's around other camera people and it's usually not a problem. When my human is SANE. But she is obviously not sane at the moment because the camera they were talking about was a C-A-N-O-N and that is so *not* normal.

Oh, and by *talking* I mean happy, excited talking. Like, if humans had tails they would have been wagging a mile a minute... all because of a stupid C-A-N-O-N.

I tried to stop the crazy-talk by showing them how much I love Nikons. One of the BL dudes even took my picture (with a Canon!). But my human was so busy petting a new Canon, I don't think she even noticed. It's all very strange and a little scary. What if she gets rid of Nikon? If she would abandon Nikon, there's no telling what else she'd do. I mean, Dutch could be next.

PS: HAL is getting a new brain or heart transplant or something and the Droid blogger app thingy is stupid. It waits like 3 years to put my stuff on the internet, or just doesn't. Arghh.

YES, THAT IS POO ON MY CHIN

And eyebrow. And yes I completely ignored my human when she screamed her head off at me to stop eating the poo I found on our walk this morning. And now I am in trouble. Again. 

Yeah. I know. 

What's extrasupersucky is I had a long talk with my human last night about how the other 999 pugs and stress and her gimpy brain and sickness and other stupid stuff is seriously messing with my Daily Puglet. She agreed it is totally unacceptable and promised to get her you-know-what together ASAP so I can regain control of the thumbs. But after this morning's poo-incident, all I got was the stink-eye.

I really, really miss you guys and my human does too. Not sure about Dutch because he's still pretty much ignoring us for going to Texas without him. I've tried being extra nice to him and everything, but no go. My human is threatening to leave my "poo-eating ass" at home and take Dutch to Florida & Atlanta instead. Dutch liked the sound of this but I don't!

I'LL GIVE YOU BACON...

Any idea how you get a tired, kinda-grumpy human with a cold out of bed? She keeps saying stuff like '5 more minutes' and 'I'll give you bacon if you just let me sleep'. 

I tried the 5 minutes thing like an hour ago and she's still just lying there. I tried staring at her and sneezing on her -- nothing. I was kinda worried she might be in a coma or something so I pawed at her face to make sure she was still breathing. Got yelled at for that, so at least she's alive. But two seconds later she was sleeping again.

I'm totally OK with letting my human stay in bed if that's what she wants to do.... but how can she give me bacon if she's asleep???

BORED....

And wordless. And my human says I can't have her thumbs until she gets caught up with all her *other* "pug stuff". 

Nice, huh?

LOST DAYS, Part 2

OK. Before I say another word about Dallas, I have a comment about some of yesterday's comments. Uhm, yeah. I had NO idea so many humans cared about bagels. I thought mine was the only freak.  

Bagel freak, I mean. 

I'm trying to convince my human we should do some sort of official tasting of all the bagels in San Francisco and places we go on the tour. You know, as a public service to other bagel freaks out there. 

Example: you need to ask for a well-done Boopa's bagel or else it might be perfect on the outside, but kinda dough-y when you bite into it (got that Gracie + Arnie??). Katz Bagels here in San Francisco are perfect on the outside too, but way too fluffy on the inside. At least that's what my human says. I don't really care if something is doughy or fluffy, I just like to eat stuff.

Anyway. Back to Dallas. So, Dallas was cold. And it rained a lot. Kinda like it's doing right now here in SF, except here at home I don't have to stand outside all day in the freezing cold watching my human give away all my food and use Nikon on other pugs.

 

Luckily the Local Texan Dude (aka Mark from Shagly Photography) loves me waaaay more than my human does and let me crawl inside his fleece to stay warm. When the weather got really really bad, LTD let me hang out at his house with his two pugs and their blonde lady. She was supernice and totally didn't care that we all cracked out the whole entire time. I'm pretty sure she loves me waaaay more than my human too.

Even though the weather was bad, I'm so glad I got to meet Texas. It was supercool to see everyone in the fur and when the days were over I got to snuggle with my human like I've never snuggled before. I still don't love that she gave my food away or didn't take a single picture of me with Nikon the whole entire time. But whatever. There's always next time, right?

PS: I really want to go to Florida + Atlanta!!

LOST DAYS, Part 1

I have no freaking idea what happened to the posts I wrote in Dallas with the stupid Droid app thingy. But I guess my human needs another day or two to catch up on 1k Pug stuff and Nikon just got shipped off to the spa, so I'll fill you in on some of the highlights now.

HIGHLIGHT #1: Texas Bagels

So, my human is a complete dork when it comes to bagels. Yeah, bagels. She says it has something to do with being from the other coast where people know the difference between a bagel and a roll with a hole in it. No idea. But it means she likes to hunt down new bagels hoping to find a "real" one. Totally weird, but sometimes I get to eat the rejects and that's fine by me.

Well, in Texas we went to a place near our hotel called Boopa's Bagels because my human says anyone named Boopa knows the difference between a bagel and a roll with a hole. And I guess she was right because she was waaaaay excited about the 'East Coastness' of Boopa's bagels.

 Bagel? What Bagel?

This meant my human also got waaaaaay mad at me when I accidentally ate the Boopa's bagel she left unattended on the back seat when we stopped at the gas station to feed the car. I tried to pretend I didn't know what happened to her bagel, but I totally forgot Rule #1 of food stealing: always dispose of the evidence.

Yup. I got busted with an empty bagel bag.  

I knew it was wrong to eat the bagel, but my human was so excited about it, I couldn't help myself. Figured it must be supertasty, right? Wrong. Unless your name is Boopa or you were born on some other coast, a bagel is just a funny shaped piece of bread.  Not a hamburger or bacon or something worth getting in trouble for eating.

REUNITED.... SORT OF

So, first we sat around the airport for like a million hours. Then we got on the plane and sat on the runway for another hour. When the plane finally flew, we spent like an entire extra hour in the air because the wind was blowing the wrong way or something and we had to take the long way back to California. 

Yeah. And I never did poop.

When we landed, it took forever to find Mazda because we got on the wrong shuttle bus thing. Pretty sure my human's brain stopped working sometime Monday night because she did all sorts of stupid stuff yesterday. I won't go into detail but let's just say we got stopped by the security people because she had four walking talkies and accidentally left an exacto blade thing in her bag. 

Uhm, yeah. There was a whole interrogation scene and everything. I guess it was suspicious that we went through security once, then left and came back with a knife and a herd of walkie talkies. My human explained how the plane was delayed so we went outside so I could maybe poop, and that the knife thing was in there the whole time, the first security people were just slackers. 

Totally embarrassing! I bet they thought we were terrorists. 

Anyway. My human will say I was stupid yesterday too because I jumped on the shuttle bus driver's lap to say hi and made him scream like a girl. But whatever. At least I didn't do anything suspicious or terroristy. 

By the time we got home it was superlate. So we woke up Texas-early this morning to get Dutch back from Bellatrix's mom. She works way out in Guam and it was raining so it took longer to drive there than it did to fly to Texas. 


I was kinda excited to see Dutch, but he wasn't excited to see me at all. Or our human. He just stood there with Bellatrix's mom and stared at us like we were complete strangers or something. Even after he smelled my butt - nothing.


Ever since we got home, I've been hanging out under my human's chair and Dutch has been on our bed. He doesn't want anything to do with me or my human and I think it's because we smell like Texas.  It's kinda sad. A little heartbreaking, my human says.


Does anyone know how to get rid of the Texas smell?? I want Dutch to love us again.

GOODBYE TEXAS!

No idea what happened to Fridays or yesterday's Daily Puglet. My human thought we could use some Blogger app thingy on Droid but my posts must be stuck somewhere in blog limbo because I dont see them here. Don't worry though, if they don't  come back soon I'll tell you all about how cold, wet and hot Dallas was again.

Right now we are at the airport. Our plane is late, which is a good thing because we would have missed it if it wasn't. My human will say it's because I refused to poop but I'm pretty sure its because her brain is gimpy and/or she can't tell time or something. Or because she made us stop at Pet Smart on the way to the airport so they could Furminate me. Apparently I shed too much on the first plane or something and my human didn't want that to happen again. No idea.

Either way, we were in a huge hurry to get to our plane and it isn't even here yet. So now I'm bored and probably going to nap. But we should be back home tonight and I got can't wait to tell you about or trip!

MORE ON TEXAS

I know Texas is a big state, but I'm pretty sure we drove around most of it yesterday checking out locations for this weekend's 1000 Pugs photoshoots. Luckily we had real live Texans showing us the way instead of Droid's stupid navigation lady (or my gimpy brained human) otherwise we'd probably be in Kansas by now. 

Local Texan Dude and his pugs Kingston & Frankie didn't just keep us from ending up in Kansas, either. LTD is a dog photographer here in Dallas and he let me supermodel for his Nikon. He also also introduced me to the lady who owns Canine Cookie Company in a place called McKinney. Scored a BUNCH of tasty snacks there, even though my hum a says I'm looking beyond tubey these days. 

More on both those things later.

My Texan buddy Kingston

In between the cookies and the super modeling, LTD took my human to buy a raincoat for Nikon. Good thing too because I guess a big storm is coming or something. This morning the sky got dark like it does at night, except it was like 9am. Then a bunch of wind came and it rained really hard. Like REALLY hard.

Freaky Texas sky

I seriously hope the weather starts behaving better before the photoshoots start. I mean, I don't want to be soaking wet when I greet everyone. So if anyone is accidentally doing a rain dance, please stop dancing. Now. 

TEXAS

So, I survived my first plane ride. If you've never been on a plane before, you're not missing much. Its kinda like being in a really big car with a whole bunch of strangers. Except instead of driving for a few hours without ever leaving the state you fly for a few hours and end up in a place like Texas. That part is awesome.

If you're lucky, there will be an empty seat on the plane and you'll get to hog the whole thing. And if you're extrasuperlucky, the plane people will think you're cute and feed you pretzels. Not that pretzels are all that exciting. But airplane pretzels are cooler than regular ones and food is food, right?

Anyway. I haven't been in Texas long enough to be and expert on it or anything but here's what I know so far:

1. Texas likes pickup trucks.
2. People here are crazynice
3. The highways are just crazy. Even Droid gets lost on them.
4. It's windy.
5. Planet Best Buys are pug friendly just like back home.

That's all I know for now, but tomorrow we're getting a guided tour from a local and I'm sure I'll know everything after that. When I know, you'll know too.

DALLAS, HERE I COME!

My human is down to one thumb and hasn't slept since Sunday, but we made it to the airport. She said all we had to do was make it on the plane and we are almost there. It's kinda cool to watch the planes land but the lady sitting next to us is eating something meaty so it's a little hard to concentrate on the planes....

Nest stop, Dallas!

SO MUCH FOR MY 25 MINUTES

Well, right after my human promised me 25 minutes of uninterrupted thumb-time yesterday, her hand started freaking out again. Yeah. The hand. A week before we're going to Dallas.

It started with the same finger and a red splotch, just like last time. It's nowhere near as gimpy as last time, but still not great. Since we know it isn't Lupus and all my human ever does these days is stare at HAL4, she thinks maybe it is from stress and too much typing and stuff. So now she's trying to type less and be more relaxed.

I have no idea what's relaxing about giving me & Dutch a bath, but that's pretty much all you've missed since yesterday. My human says they won't let me on the plane if I stink and Dutch says he wants to smell pretty for Bellatrix. You heard me. Pretty.

His words, not mine. I swear.

I know things have been kinda lame around here lately. They've been lame for me too and it kinda sucks, so thanks for hanging in. Especially since next week is going to be ridiculous. My first plane ride. My first out-of-state adventure (not counting Reno). Texas cowpies. Lunch at the Love Shack. It's going to be AWESOME.

TWO WORDS

Rain sucks! It's cold, wet, and it makes you smell bad. Or at least it makes Dutch smell bad. I am always perfectly perfect. Pretty much the only good thing about rain is we only went on a 5 minute walk today because of it so my human says I can have her thumbs for the 25 minutes she didn't lose to a walk.

Seriously??

I had no idea this was an option. Why didn't she tell me this sooner? I mean, walks pretty much suck now because of the poo anyway. And I'd much rather be on here with you than on the end of a stupid leash.

So I'm back. For 25 minutes, anyway. I'm pretty sure they don't have to be the same minutes though. Like, in a row. But I should probably ask. And do some sort of rain dance so the thumbs-minutes keep coming. Just in case.