MORE BACON THAN THE PAN CAN HANDLE

 

I was kinda secretly hoping Dutch would get towed away if we waited long enough to cook my bacon. But I guess that only works with cars. So I tried to snatch an extra bite for myself before the bacon hit the pan. All I got was a mouth full of plastic.

My human promised there would be plenty for everyone but I didn't believe her. How could one little bacon be plenty when I had to share it with Dutch AND Frank. Besides, what does a vegetable lover know about bacon? 

Then I saw this:

more bacon than a HUMONGO pan can handle

Yeah. In case you can't tell, that's one HUMONGO pan. Full of bacon. And just in case you can't tell my looking at me how excited I was about this, I was EXCITED.

At least I was. Until my human turned on the stove and ruined everything. I don't know what she did but one minute I had more bacon than a pan can handle, the next minute there was barely enough to fill my tiny food bowl.

where did all my bacon go?

Whatever she did made a whole bunch of stinky smoke and a really loud noise that freaked Dutch out so bad he ran out the dog door and refused to come back inside. Of course I tried to convince my human to let me eat Dutch's bacon so it wouldn't get cold. But she said I had to wait anyway because the bacon needed to cool.

Cool the bacon?

Ugh. I really wanted to say just GIVE ME THE FREAKING BACON NOW, but when it comes to stuff like wanting food humans don't understand plain english. It's weird. So I shut my mouth and kept my eyes on the bacon.

Don't tell my human, but even though she totally killed it my bacon was still supertasty. Me and Dutch are trying to talk her into a bacon do-over. One without smoke, scary noises or Frank.