HERE IS GOOD

Hellloooo! I'm back. I, Dutch, that is. Don't worry, Pug will be back soon and will probably complain about me hijacking everything. But you know what? I don't care.

Do. Not. Care.

Sorry, but I just don't. Near death experiences can be life changing. You can ask Google. Of course I still love pink and all the Justins, but I am a changed dog. It is not an easy thing to explain, but life feels a little different than it did before. I feel different. You will see....

Before Pug takes back the blog, I need to tell you some things. First: the rest of our trip. In case you missed the beginning part, we went from New Jersey to a place called Baltimore to catch a plane that could go from one ocean to the other without stopping. The whole thing was very confusing. I didn't ask questions.

Baltimore has bridges.

I didn't see anything in Baltimore but the inside of a car, La Quinta and the airport but everyone I met there was exceptionally nice. I think they wanted to make sure I left the Other Coast with a good last impression. Except for the angry cat in front of us in the security thing who tried to rip my face off, I felt nothing but love from Baltimore.

Baltimore, I love you too!

The Southwest airplane people were even nicer than Baltimore but I didn't like the plane ride so much because our human stuffed a handful of pills down my face to make me sleep through the plane ride. She said it was the vet's idea, but hello! Who wants to sleep through their last plane ride ever?

Not me.

Trying to be awake with a body full of sleepy pills isn't easy or fun or nice or good in any way. By the time we got back to our coast I was toast. Walking through that LAX place with a body full of sleepy pills was NOT fun or nice or good in any way either. Scary.

The Dreaded 405.

From LAX we went to some thing called The Dreaded 405. I heard my human say she still has nightmares about it from when she lived in Southern California so I was a more than a little worried. But it wasn't scary at all. We mostly just sat in the car and didn't move. At all. For a very long time.

The 405 was so extremely boring I decided to let the sleepy pills do their thing. I don't know how many hours later I woke up to the smell of this:

Yes, that is what you think it is. At first I thought I was dreaming. I've never been to a Drive-Thru but I know that's where Baconators come from. I'd been eating nothing but chicken and rice for weeks. Was I really about to be rewarded with a Baconator? A whole entire Baconator of my very own?

No. I was not. Inside that yummy smelling bag was a grilled chicken sandwiches (hold the mayo). My human had a bag of rice in her suitcase so I didn't even get to eat the bun. I was a little disappointed to learn you can get all sorts of things at a Drive-Thru, but please don't tell Pug. He doesn't have to know.

It took a long time to get from LAX to our house. My human didn't have enough brain left to understand the signs outside Frank's house so Pug stayed another night. I was happy to be home and have her all to myself for a little while more. We fell asleep on the couch (for a very long time) and I didn't have to share the ottoman with anybody.

Now, I must run. I have one last vet appointment with the fabulous Dr. Fong. I can't wait to show him my new belly zipper! I'll be back tomorrow with the other things I want to tell you. If Pug is nice, perhaps I'll let him say hello.

Love,

Dutch