Thursday, June 6, 2013
Wild Game Night didn't happen yesterday because my human said there was no way she could eat her meat after touching chicken feet. I wasn't exactly happy about having to wait another 12 hours to eat feet, so I woke my human up extra early this morning.
ME: OH NO! I think Mazda is getting a ticket.
HUMAN: street cleaning isn't until tomorrow Pug. Let me sleep.
ME: but it's also chicken feet time.
HUMAN: (silent, grumpy)
This did not make her happy. But at least she was awake. And when it comes to thumbs, sometimes awake is all that matters. But before we could eat, we had to go for our morning walk. I suggested we bring the feet along and eat them at the park. Y'know, just in case they leave a bloody mess on the kitchen floor.
Aw, Pug. That's so nice of you, my human said.
Of course I didn't really care about a mess. I just wanted to eat feet ASAP. So we get to the park. My human takes a bunch of stupid pictures, then hands me a foot. I even get the bigger one because Dutch's stomach is wussy and I'm "a blender". Whatever that means.
OK. If you've never eaten a chicken foot before, it's not exactly easy. I gave it a few chews but nothing happened. A few more chews. Nothing. So I did what any pug with half a brain and an empty stomach would do - and swallowed it.
Swallowing a chicken foot whole isn't all that much easier than chewing it, but after a few big gulps it was in finally my belly.
HUMAN: did you just swallow that WHOLE ENTIRE THING!?
HUMAN: the WHOLE THING?!?
I could tell by the way she kept saying WHOLE that I probably shouldn't have swallowed the foot without chewing it first. And I'm pretty sure she will kill me if we end up at the emergency vet 12 hours from now with a whole entire chicken foot stuck in my belly. But for now I'm a pug with a belly full of chicken foot.
Life is good.