LOVE IS A PIT CHECK

I love the man soooo much that when he makes me show my pits to check for ticks, I'm totally cool with it.

I missed you guys today and I totally miss my human but I also kinda want to stay at the House of Meat for the rest of my life.

0% FUN vs 1000% FUN

Me + Dutch are at the House of Meat right now so my human could be alone with her broken tooth. I heard her say something about a root canal? No idea. But when I asked Google about it, the whole thing sounded like 0% fun.

Lucky for me, the HoM is totally the opposite of a root canal - 100% fun. Wait. Make that 1000% fun. Between The Man and the Goons (my new name for the crazy Labrador brothers) and the MEAT (and cheese and pizza crusts and cookies and Doritos and all the other stuff my human never eats or feeds us), I'm pretty sure the HoM is the best place on earth.

Please don't make me go!!!

Don't tell anyone, but I love staying at the HoM so much that when it's time to go home, I don't want to go. Not that I don't love me human. I totally do. Really. But The Man is a dude and I kinda really love dudes.

Dudes lie in bed and eat pizza and watch TV. Dudes are into meat, not carrots. Dudes snore louder than I do. They don't have rules and don't care if I get fat. Basically, dudes rule.

Of course I'll totally be there for my human when she's done getting canal-ed. I'll snuggle and lick her face (even though it grosses her out) and even pretend to like eating carrots. But deep inside, my inner dude will really miss the House of Meat.

PS: Fish finally really did the Big Float for good.

F.I.P.

Well, the anti-juju worked. After two days of bottom-floating, Fish finally did the Big Float. He's now in the big bowl in the sky, floating in peace (even when he wasn't sick, he never did swim very much).

It sounds like some juju is needed in a bunch of other places. Broken little humans and gimpy legs. My human broke one of her teeth yesterday, so we might even need some juju at our house. Hopefully not. Hopefully she just needs a dentist.

* * *

HAPPINESS!
Happy Special Days to Beuleh + Marble in Ottowa (that's Canada, so you can probably talk your people into giving you more cookies because of the exchange rate thing). Even though it's a sad day for Fish, I know he would want us to all eat cookies.

3 CANDLES

Happy Birthday to me!

I celebrated the big 3.0 with a slice of SPAM and a (very tiny) bowl of PB + Banana + Bacon No-Cream (with bacon on top).

I'm going to be napping it off til I turn 4. Thanks for sending me so many Happies :)

* * *

MORE SPECIALNESS

If you didn't get enough celebration cookies on Saturday, yesterday was Special too. Dusty Rose in Hillsborough, OR.

THE BIG 3.0

So I was checking the Special Day calendar to see if today is special and I totally realized something: tomorrow is MY birthday!

I don't know how I didn't know this until now. Birthdays = food and my food radar is usually VERY good about picking up on these things. My human hasn't said one word about it and I'm kinda worried she might have forgotten how Special tomorrow is.

I saw this kind of thing happen in a movie once. You know, the one with the red haired girl and a whole bunch of candles? The whole world forgot her birthday and I'm pretty sure it made her cry. I didn't see the whole thing so I don't know how it ended, but I know the redhaired girl was totally sad and probably cried.



Uhm. Now that I think about it, I'm kinda worried. My human has been SUPER gimpy lately and it's 100% totally possible that she doesn't know I turn 3 tomorrow. And I don't think Dutch even knows what day today is - so forget about tomorrow.

I don't want to cry on my Special Day. I want to eat bacon and SPAM and ice cream and bully penis... then take a nap... and then eat some more stuff to celebrate. But NONE of this will happen if my human doesn't know it's my day.

How can I make sure she remembers to celebrate me???

THE MARSHMALLOW TEST

So we were in the car the other day and the radio man was talking about this experiment they did with little kids and marshmallows. In the experiment, kids are put in a room with a marshmallow and told they could either eat the marshmallow right away OR stare at it for awhile and get TWO marshmallows instead.

It went something like this:



I guess the experiment was supposed to test self-control and stuff, and it turned out that that kids who passed the marshmallow test (waited and got two marshmallows) "enjoyed greater success as adults".

This sounded like a super-easy test to pass (and an easy way to score two marshmallows) so I asked my human if she could try the experiment on me. She thought this sounded fun and totally said yes.

So I was all excited to score some easy snacks - except we didn't have any marshmallows in our kitchen. So my human used a pistachio instead. Uhm, if you've never eaten a pistachio, they smell bad and taste worse. I could have stared at that thing all day long and not eaten it, but for what? So I could get an extra one?

No thank you!

Instead, I just posed for today's picture and walked away. Dutch ate the nasty pistachio and I made my human promise to buy marshmallows next time she goes to the store.

Anyone here ever take the marshmallow test? If you haven't, do you think you could pass?

FISH

So I have kind of a weird question. Is there such a thing as anti-juju? Y'know, like instead of jujuing someone better you juju them to go the other way?

I know that probably sounds totally mean and evil, but I promise it's not.

Here's the deal - in case you don't know, I live with a fish (his name is Fish). I don't talk about him much because he lives in a bowl on a shelf and doesn't do anything, but I guess he's cool as far as fishes go.

Anyway. Fish is older than I am and has been sick for awhile. We tried fixing him with the pea trick, but that hasn't helped. I don't know what's wrong, but he's really pale and keeps getting smaller and smaller. Pretty soon, there won't be any of him left. He's never really done anything but float, but lately he's been floating funny.

And not in a good way.

It seems like Fish is ready for the Big Float, but it's just not happening. The Man says we should flush him (?) but my human said no way. So I'm thinking maybe if we all anti-juju him, Fish will go to the big fishbowl in the sky already (and not the toilet).

Sound like a good idea or no??

TOTALLY NOT NORMAL

So, I guess HAL4.1 was dead or went back into a coma or something yesterday. No idea, but he seems totally fine today. I haven't heard my human scream or cry or use any of those HBO words so I guess he's going to live.

Not so sure about my human though. I think talking on the phone with that Tech Support guy might have melted her brain. Like, even more melted than it already is.

Promise not to tell her any of this, but yesterday we ate breakfast twice. And the day before that, we got dinner twice too. Kinda cool, but not so normal. Oh, and on Saturday when we were going to hike with the cows she put on two totally different shoes. Luckily I noticed and she never made it out of the kitchen, but still.

Totally not normal.

I'm usually pretty good at making humans feel good, but I think something like a melted brain needs something extraspecial to make it better. So today I'm going to be non-stop, ridiculously cute all day long. I'm going to be so insanely cute, my human's brain is going to hurt in a totally different way. Y'know, a good kind of hurt.

But just in case that doesn't work, doesn anyone here do something that absolutely, positively makes your humans melt? Or, uh, unmelt??

PSSST

Hello everybody, it's me - Dutch. I had to tell Pug that HAL4.1 died again so I could be here to ask you a very important question.

Pug turns 3 years old this week and I don't know what to get him for his birthday. I know he likes toys and food. And also food and... other food. But since it's his Special Day, I want what I get him to be special. He can be a pain in the you-know-where, but I love the little guy.

(Please don't tell him that, he will get an even bigger head).

I also heard my human say we're almost out of food, so Pug might meet the scale before his Day comes. I think he is tubey, so a visit to the scale will absolutely probably = diet and diet means no food.

If you were turning 3 (and looking a little tubey) what would you want for your Day??

Many thank yous!

* * *

IT IS SPECIAL
Yesterday was Minni's Day and I believe we ate extra cookies to celebrate it. Today is Paco's Day over in Oakland (CA) and we will eat cookies for you too, Paco.

Pug always makes sure we get extra cookies on days that are Special. I think that is why he's a little bit fat.

FATHERLESS

So, the calendar says this Sunday is Father's Day. You know how much I like to celebrate stuff/eat cookies, so I was kinda excited to have something official to celebrate. Woo hoo!

Except for one problem: I don't have a father.

I lived with my mom for awhile and I kinda remember her, but I don't remember ever having a father. Google says it's kinda normal for a dog to only know its mom, so I guess I'm normal. But being normal doesn't exactly help me celebrate Father's Day.

So I asked my human if she could help me find my father. Stuff like that happens on TV all the time, right? But she said it's kinda different with dogs and since I was recycled, there's probably no way to make it happen. But she did say I don't need a "biological father" to celebrate Father's Day because the #1 most important man in my life counts just as much.

I can celebrate The Man!

I love The Man more than I love the father I never knew and might not even have, so I'm totally celebrating him instead. Kinda wondering though, if Google was right about the whole dogs-not-knowing-their-fathers thing. Anyone here ever met theirs??

MEGA JUJU SOS(es)

Pug + Scooby

Now that HAL4.1 is back, I have some juju SOSes to catch up on. First one is from a Pug named Pug (that's what my human calls me! Cool name, huh?). Anyway, his Golden Retriever brother Scooby had to have his toe removed after his foot got attacked by the C-word (Malignant Melanoma). The doctors say Scoob won't be with Pug + his family much longer and they want him to be happy and pain-free for as long as possible.

Sounds like a job for juju!

Freya

Next bunch of juju needs to go to an ubercute puggy named Freya. She was rescued from a puppy factory where they forced her to keep making puppies even though her knees were really really bad. She just had surgery to fix the bad knees and is now bionic like Suki! But bionic pugs need juju too, so please send a bunch her way.

Petunia

Don't stop the juju yet... because Petunia (with the outie-tongue) is at the vet right now. Something bad is going on with her ear - only I'm not sure what because she wouldn't let her human anywhere near it. But there was blood and blood is never good. Pretty sure juju is stronger than blood though, right?

OK, this last SOS is a little different but still totally juju-able. Here's the message I got:

Can anyone in New England foster a special needs couple for Pug Rescue of New England?

We have a pair coming in that must stay together. 7-ish male is blind insulin-dependent diabetic. Female in fine health, acts as the male's seeing eye dog. All of our special needs foster homes are full. Please help by passing word along. If we don't get these two in this week they're shelter-bound :(

Pug Rescue Of New England (PRoNE) can be reached via http://www.pugrescueofnewengland.org


Phew. I think that's everyone who needs our help (at least that I know of). I'm really glad I have so many friends because that's a whole bunch of juju!

HAL4 LIVES!

So, the Computer Man never came yesterday because HAL4's new parts didn't come on time. I guess HAL4 had a heart attack when the tech support people in India were trying to fix him. Kinda like what happened to me when they tried to take my boy parts away the first time - except they revived me and HAL4 went into a coma.

I had brain damage for awhile after my heart attack, but HAL4's brain didn't get hurt. He just needed a heart transplant. It didn't take long for Computer Man to give HAL4 a new heart, and now he's stronger and faster than ever. Computer Man said the next 3 days will be critical because sometimes new heart parts don't work and if they fail, it happens in the first 72 hours.

But please don't waste any juju on HAL4 (now HAL4.1). My human said I just got some juju emails... so as soon as my human gets caught up, I'll let you all know who could really use some juju.

Oh yeah - and look what got stuck to our door this morning!! It happened when my human was in the shower. I barked my head off, but without thumbs there wasn't much else I could do. Luckily we can pick the box up tonight at the UPS place, so my normal cuteness will be back tomorrow. Woo hoo!

Nikon is coming home!

PANDAS FOR SADIE

Congrats, Sadie! Your belly will soon be full of panda heads (you might have to share with your people because, technically, they are people-cookies). The genius Randomizer must have know it's your birthday :)

Please email us your address dailypuglet[at]gmail.com so we can send you some pandas.

I am sooo glad the Randomizer picked a small number. After 5 million hours on the phone with that Tech Support person, I'm not sure my human could count much higher than 2.

The bad news: Tech Support killed HAL4. Or at least put him in a coma. The good news: after 5 million hours on the phone and many HBO words later, a man is coming to revive HAL4. Hopefully today.

Hopefully.

Because with no Nikon and HAL4 in a coma, there isn't much cuteness for me to give you. And I am waaaaaaay cuter than this:

* * *

EAST COAST SPECIALNESS

Happy Whelp Day to Mochi in Roslyn Heights, NY!

HELLO PANDA!

YAY! Sooooo happy to say the panda heads made it to Tiffy's house in Illinois. No postal jerk stole them and they weren't eaten until they got into Tiffy's belly.

To celebrate, I'm calling in the Randomizer. Yup. One lucky belly will get their very own box of panda heads (my human says they also come in a "slightly less scary Milk Flavor"). Just leave a comment with your name in it & check back tomorrow to see who Randomizer picks.

And just in case the USPS has a relapse, we'll hide totally the panda heads in a box to make sure they make it to you.

(if you've never been been Randomized read how it works at the end of this post).

PS: The people-whose-name-rhymes-with-Hell killed (!) HAL4 over the weekend and my human will probably be on the phone all day today like she was yesterday. I think she might cry or kill someone, so please make your comments extra-happy.

* * *

INTERNATIONAL SPECIALNESS
Big fat Happy Whelp Day to Carlos in Berlin, Germany!

NOT COOL YSABELLE

Today I thought I'd to talk about the bag full of cool eatables I accidentally ate in The Man's truck yesterday. Or how Dutch totally exploded after drinking pond scum. Or about the wad of pug my human found inside HAL4...

But no.

Because yesterday someone named Ysabelle left a comment here on the DP that was so not cool, we deleted it. And that like NEVER EVER happens.

It wasn't even what Ysabelle said that is so not cool. I mean, she did say I was amusing. But in her comment there was a link to a website that sells puppies. Yeah. Sells puppies. On the internet. Like shoes. Or sweaters.

NOT COOL.


AND by putting a link to the puppy selling website in her comment, Ysabelle was trying to use The DP to promote or whatever the puppy selling website.

SO NOT COOL.

If you're going to buy a puppy, that's cool (even though recycled dogs like me + Dutch are perfectly perfect). But please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't buy one from the internet like a sweater!!

I have waaaaay too many friends who came from or were retired from puppy factories (aka puppy mills) and websites like cute-puppies-for-sale.com or whatever are a huge part of the problem.

In case you missed Ysabelle's comment, here's what it said.... and what I did about it.

* * *

SPECIALNESS!
Happy whelp days to Izzy in Renton, WA and Lola in Winnipeg (that's Canada)! I know I'll be eating something very special to celebrate (more on that Monday).

LITTLE GREEN THINGS

The other day when we were out hiking I saw all these little green things by the giant waterbowl thing. My human wouldn't let me try to eat - uhm, I mean meet - one until she took a picture... but dumb Droid is sooooooo slow, the little green things were all gone by the time she was done.

So now I have two questions. What are these green things and (more important) are they eatable?

THIS IS A TEST

My human can tell I've really been missing Nikon, so yesterday she asked if I wanted to go on a little adventure to the Post Office. Me? Adventure?

Heck yeah!

I'm still PO'd a the PO jerk who stole Payton's brain-drugs, so I asked my human if we could yell at someone while we were at the post office. She said no, we couldn't yell at anyone because the USPS is a government agency and I guess yelling is a federal offense or something.

No idea.

Instead of yelling, my human said we could do a test to see if the brain-drug stealing was an isolated incident (or if the USPS is full of jerks who steal your stuff). A test didn't sound nearly as much fun as yelling, but I didn't really want to federally offend anyone so I went along with it.

I got a little nervous when we got to the PO and saw a scale, but luckily it's just for packages. So we weighed the yummy panda heads, put my friend Tiffy's mom's address and some stamps on the box, and handed it off to the PO people. I have no idea what the pink panda head thing is about, but I'm guessing my human really wanted to tempt any jerks who might be thinking about stealing.

Apparently we are not the only ones trying to tempt the PO jerks, because the box of panda heads landed in a pile next to a box of tasty Wheat Thins.

I don't know how scientific this test is, but I'm really glad my human vetoed the yelling thing. Those postal people don't mess around! The PO in our neighborhood is totally friendly, but the one we went to yesterday was not a happy place. We totally got in trouble for

1) me being in the post office
2) taking pictures in the post office
3) taking pictures of mail

Not sure about #1, but apparently #2 and #3 are federally offensive or something. Ooops.

It should take a few days for the panda heads to make it to Tiffy's house in Illinois. Who here thinks the PO will pass the panda test??

WILL THE PANDA HEADS MAKE IT TO ILLINOIS??

COME WITH ME

The only piece of Nikon I have.

Since Nikon is gone, it's hard for you to see how cute I look. And since you can't look at me, I thought you might want to look with me. Y'know, see what I see for a change.

The video isn't the greatest because Droid + Windows made it, but let's go for a hike together anyway. There will be snacks :)

[watch video on youtube]

* * *

TODAY'S SPECIALNESS
Happy Whelp Day to Pudge in Avon Lake, OH. I think since your name is Pudge, everyone should get 2 cookies to celebrate your day.

SAD, SAD DAY

Just when I thought June couldn't get any gloomier, it did. And I'm not talking about the weather either. Because you know what's inside that UPS truck?

Nikon.

Yeah. My Nikon. Well, I guess technically it's my human's Nikon. But you know what I mean. This is hugely gloomy because Nikon is kinda like a cookie jar. No Nikon = No cookies.

UGH!

I guess UPS is taking Nikon to a camera-vet in some place called El Segundo. I was going to ask everyone to send some major juju, but my human said we shouldn't waste juju on a camera because if the vet can't fix Nikon, they'll just send us a new one.

Uh. Not sure I liked the sound of that, so I told her we should ask for juju anyway. Y'know, just to be safe. But then I got an email from a pug named Abby in North Carolina. This is Abby:

Abby just found out she has a severe collapsing trachea, which means her throat keeps trying to shut down on her. And I guess this happens at the worst possible times too, like when she gets excited about cookies or a new toy.

Holy SPAM that must suck.

My throat has never attacked me (especially when I really needed to use it) so I can't imagine what must be like. Abby says it feels a lot like this:

Google says the crazy trachea thing is a pretty common pug problem, so maybe someone else here has some advice for Abby? The vet gave her pills to keep her throat happy, but if everyone could send some juju her way I know she'd feel waaaaaay better than any stupid pill could ever make her feel.

* * *

MEGA SPECIALNESS!!
Uhm, I kinda spazzed on Friday's specialness, so open wide and get ready to eat because...

FRIDAY was a double Whelp Day. Late happy day to Gen (Chicago) and Penny (SF)!
SATURDAY was Trixie's gotcha day. Happy Gotcha!
SUNDAY Kiki (Webster, NY) celebrated her Whelp Day. Happy Whelp!

...and last but not least, today's specialness is for Sammy in Wheaton, IL. Much happy to you Sammy :)

GLOOM. ON CRACK!

I know I'm never here on Saturday. But the weather is supergross and I'm trapped inside. It's raining so hard, Dutch won't even go outside to pee. My human keeps threatening to leave us home alone because apparently I'm starting to drive her nuts.

Anyone out there still want our weather??

SO broken!!

JUNE GLOOM

So, there's this thing that happens in San Francisco every summer. Just when it's getting nice and warm and sunny everywhere else on the planet, it gets cold and foggy and icky here. And we live in the sunny part of the city.

It's called the June Gloom and it sucks.

We've had 3 days of Gloom and I'm already over it. I mean, check out our weather for the next few days. Nothing but Gloom.


Google says it's 10 degrees warmer where my cousin Sophie lives (New Jersey), 20 degees warmer near Chicago where my friend Tiffy lives, and 30 degrees warmer at Suki's house in Austin, TX (hi Suki!).

What the???

It's supposed to be summer. And I'm pretty sure summer is supposed to be warm so we can do stuff like go to the beach and go swimming. Is anyone else's weather broken, or is San Francisco the coldest place on earth?

SPECIAL

Well, it looks like I am not alone. Because according to yesterday's Couch or Crack poll, most of us here are some combo of the two. Couch pugs came in 2nd and crack pugs came in 3rd (last = rare if you ask me, so that just means you are the most, uhm, special).

Speaking of special, my human says I need to make Dutch feel better today. I guess he's superembarrassed that the whole entire internet knows about his Golden Chicken fart. He farts all the time, so I don't know what the big deal is. But I guess his self esteem is fragile or something (?) and I need to make him feel good.

So here is Dutch, at the beach and not farting.

And here is Dutch pretending to be a model and not farting.

Here is Dutch sticking out his tongue and not farting.

And here is Dutch playing with me and totally NOT farting.

Dutch, I love you Dude. Even thought you fart in my face and can eat as much as you want and still have a skinny neck.

* * *

IT'S A SPECIAL DAY IN POLAND!
Zuzia the pug from Poznan, Poland was Gotcha'd on this day. I looked for Poland on the and it is way far away. Like, farther than Canada or New Jersey (where my cousin Sophie lives). I'm going to see if my human will give me extra cookies to celebrate such a far away special day.

COUCH OR CRACK?

Horton = couch | Owen = crack | Me = couch-crack combo

So, when we were at the beach over the weekend and me and the Crazy Labrador Brothers were trying to figure out who's #1 (uh, me) I got a lot a really funny looks from people. One dude stopped to take our picture and some lady videoed us with her iphone.

This happens a lot.

People always ask my human if I'm a pug-mix because pugs aren't "supposed" to be so... athletic. A lot of people don't think a pug can swim or run or hike, but they are wrong. So wrong.

Apparently people don't know there are two kinds of pugs: crack pugs and couch pugs. Crack pugs have crazy energy. They're totally down for stuff like running and fetching and sports like agility. Couch pugs are, well, not so sporty. Me, I'm more of a crack pug. Maybe a couch-crack combo. I think chasing cows is superfun... but so is napping.

Are you a crack pug or a couch pug? know there are a lot of non-pugs here, so you can vote too :)

COUCH OR CRACK??

* * *

Today is not special, but we do need some Juju. Well, not me-we. A pug named Trunks in Florida. He hurt his back real bad and needs some extra good juju to make sure the steroids do their thing. Please send some healing/anti-surgery juju his way!