Monday, August 1, 2011

PORKY-THING

I'm superexcited to tell you all about a new kind of snack I ate yesterday. But my human said I'm not allowed to until I tell you about something else I ate yesterday. Both were porky-things, but only one was human-approved.

I found the forbidden porky-thing lying in the grass at a place called Dolores Park. It's like two blocks from our house, but we hardly ever go there because of what happened today when we did.

My human was busy picking up Dutch poop when I found the porky-things. I tried to eat one before she could catch me, but it was hard to chew and I totally got caught. When my human yelled at me to drop the porky-thing, I did what any normal dog would do and ran away with it as fast as I could.

By the time my human caught me, the porky-thing was in my belly. I tried to pretend like nothing happened, like I just wanted to go for a run. But my human saw other porky-things lying in the grass. She knew.

I was totally busted.

And that's when the yelling started.
And when I say yelling, I mean yelling. HBO words and everything. First she yelled at me. Then she yelled at the dude who threw the porky-things in the grass. Then she just yelled at the air. Dutch is the only one who didn't get yelled at, but that's just because he pretends to be perfect.

Anyway.

My human really isn't much of a yeller. Sometimes she talks loud at us when we pretend not to hear her, or at stupid people who don't know how to drive. But the rest of the time she's about as loud as a plant. So I knew if she was yelling, something must be wrong. Very wrong. And it kinda freaked me out.

Uhm. Well. I guess the porky-thing I ate was a spare rib and a spare rib is a bone. A big bone about the size of a sharpie marker. I don't remember if I chewed it or not, but I definitely ate the whole thing. And I guess this could be a problem. Y'know, for my belly. Just like the woodchips and rock and other stuff.

Only worse.

I feel OK so far, but I could probably use some preventative juju to scare the porky-thing out of me :(

* * *

TODAY IS TRIPLE SPECIAL!
Happy Whelp to Brigitte and to Liberty in Villa Grove, IL! Milton (Spokane, WA) had his special day on Saturday - so be sure to eat an extra snack (or four) for him.

41 comments:

Payton said...

Oh, no! Pug, you got to stop eating things like that! Just tell your human that there is pork stuff that you passed on and I'm sure she'll give you a ... well ... ginger bear cookie? OK, go for stuff one the ground, but no hard stuff that could get stuck. Maybe I should send you more chicken so you'll be less tempted to eat bad stuff. Major juju, positive thoughts, and prayers coming your way from IL. Keep us posted!

Hey Milton, happy belated day! And Happy Birthday to Brigitte and Liberty!!

Love,
Payton

Ritaestelle said...

Oh my, Pugsly!! Don't eat any more porky things!! Your mom was right to be upset about someone throwing these on the ground because she loves you!!

Happy August!!

Ritaestelle

agent99 said...

Pug. That wasn't a very good idea! I think I may have come across a similar problem when our old dog Otis was alive......its been a while, so my memory is fuzzy. I think the vet told us that as long as a bone getvto tummy without any sharp points harming you, that the tummy acids will dissolve the bome enough to make it safe. That does NOT mean you should repeat this stunt.
We send much positive juju to your insides.

Anonymous said...

Whenever a dog eats bones, sea shells, sharp objects that could pose a real problem in the GI tract, feed them cotton balls soaks in golden chicken brooth (or any kind of brooth). 1 cotten balls for each pound they weigh.

Cotten is a natural fiber. When it hits the stomach acid it will bulk up and it will bind with the object while it is still in the stomach. Because the cotten bulks up, it will encase the object as it passes the stomach and enters the intestines. This will cushion the the object and allow it to pass smoothly through the colen. If you do not see remains of the object in the poop or if you cannot have a BM, call your vet.

This advise came directly from my vet when Lea ate sea shells off the coffee table AND when she at 15 frozen chicken wings!

Rose, Hu-Mom to
Roxi, Riley and Lea ~ Those Jesey Puggles

Anonymous said...

Ummm...NOT good Puglet. Not good at all. Your appetite gets the best of you every time. Hope everything comes out ok...literally.
Kris in Oklahoma

Anonymous said...

Hi Puglet, After Hu-Mom typed for quite a long time - all the while muttering HBO words to the computer screen, she read your post out loud and then she yelled at Lea. We feel for you Dude. We don't understand why things that taste so good going down to our belly has to be so bad. Sending puggle prayers and major juju your way for a good out come, or should we say, for a good come out.

HAPPY WELP DAY, MILTON -

Roxi, Riley and Lea
Those Jersey Shore Puggles

Anonymous said...

Oh, Puglet - we are also sending major juju over the ocean to you. Sorry to hear that my cousin in America had such an encounter in the park - tztztz, people! They also leave bad stuff here in the parks and no wonder my human yells sometimes at me, just like yours.

I eat - oh dear! - something horrible the other day, no I am not saying what it was. But I read in one of your daily columns about it and when the opportunity presented itself, I did .. it starts with "p" and ends with "p"- so much I can say.

My human absolutely freaked out and we ran home. There was mouthwash, soap and other horrible things which were applied.

I am cured! Never again.

But I did smell nice afterwards, sort of like coming from the dentist.

Your human can give you a tin of sauerkraut as a first aid remedy - sauerkraut like cottonballs will bind with the bone in the stomach.

In this case, however, bratwurst or similar is not allowed with it.

We wish you a quick recovery, Puglet and hope the object of your desire leaves the same way (nearly) as it entered.

Happy Whelp day to Brigitte and to Liberty and belated birthday greetings to Milton: I see if I can get some treats now .. I have been superpug today!

Pug love from Berlin

Carlos Santana

Misiober said...

Oh Puglet :( sending lots of juju to your belly !!! and some hugz to your Human, hope she's less upset. Let us know how you feel !!!

Happy Whelp to Brigitte and Liberty and Milton!!! :)

THE PUGLET said...

Hi Everybody!

Mega-thanks for the juju + good advice. So far, the porky-thing has not kept me from eating breakfast or pooping (I told my human the poop report was too much info, but she insisted).

We're going to check with the vet on the cotton ball trick -- not sure if it's OK since I might not have actually chewed the bone before eating it. If you've seen me eat a hotdog, you know what I mean...

PS: Hey Carlos Santana, I'm wondering if I can skip the kraut stuff and go straight to the bratwurst? Google says it's like a hotdog, only albino and better.

Anonymous said...

Puglet... Dude what were you thinking? We know pugs can't resist anything eatable but pork bones are not good, they are sharp and can hurt inside + coming out the other end.

We're sending juju to you from all of us including Lucy the house cat.

You might need something to grease your insides...geez Puglet, we feel for ya.

3E's from San Antonio

HAPPY DAY to Brigitte, Liberty and Milton

Maggie the Pug in Dallas said...

Oh Puglet...what we will do for food! It's so hard not to eat what is thrown our way. Hope you are indeed ok and nothing goes wrong from your pork eating event. I too have done the same and so hard to resist and have to say I will probably do it again if ever the smell and taste is right in front of my nose!

Happy day to Brigette, Liberty and Milton!

Anonymous said...

Dude!!!!!! You and I would make the BEST Commando team EVER!!!!!! Usually when we are out and about my name changes to "BUFOOOOOORD, COME HERE!!!!!" or "BUFOOOOOOORD, LEAVE IT!!!!" or something similar but I'm sure you get the idea.

My pack is sending good juju your way so you pass the bone with no complications......My human says I am SUPER lucky in that department since I've never had and issue and she really has NO IDEA of all the stuff I eat.....

Your Partner in Crime,
Buford T. Justice

Holdin27 said...

Whoa, you got a spare rib Puglet? That must have been tasty!

PugSlope.com said...

Puglet! You've got to cool it on the street treats, man. They are a definite no-no (I'll admit they sure are tempting, though). My parents and I are sending you mega juju to make sure you pass that bone through your system. Luckily, us pugs have pretty hard-core digestive systems - I've eaten my fair share of crazy stuff, believe me! -Love, Sid

Maile (My-lee) Ann said...

Hope it all works out okay for you Puglet. Thinking of you and your human.

Noodles said...

Puglet,
Heh-heh. DUDE! You gotta respect the Momma!!!! Listen to her. It might prevent a BELLYACHE!
Love Noodles

Eddie the Pug said...

Dear Puglet,
Sending juju and hope you don't try to eat any more "bad for you" bones! Stick to the ginger bears, please...Does your brain ever tell your tummy, "No, No!"?
Snuffles and Snorts,
Eddie tlhe Pug

THE PUGLET said...

Dude, I'm a pug. The only thing my brain tells my belly is "Eat Eat Eat!"

:)

Anonymous said...

Hey Puglet,

The bratwurst thing sometimes comes with sauerkraut - in my personal environment, however, there is more sauerkraut than bratwurst. Those vegetarians!

Well, bratwurst ist a pug dream come through - I had one last week, one all by myself as my human would't touch the stuff. My human brother bought me one at the beer garden. D.e.l.i.c.i.o.u.s. and sure enough I did not eat for two days afterwards for wanting to stick to the bratwurst diet (copyright Carlos Santana) as from now.

Bratwust ingredients are famous and secrets, lots of herbs and special mixtures and they are huge - at least like 3-4 hot dogs.

Sauerkraut without the bratwurst or alternatively pork roast and dumplings (we call them Knödel *laughter*) is good for stomach ailings and, well, for spare ribs stuck in pug bellies. Old remedy .. so may be it is not a very good idea at the moment to skip the kraut and go straight for the bratwurst? Better bratwurst times will come.

This time I won't copy you! The p-p experience was enough. No more mouthwash!

Get well greetings from a rainy Berlin

Carlos Santana

Two Pugs in a Pod said...

Puuuglettttt! Not again! COOL IT with the non-eatable foodables, man! I have a street treat eater. I can't even tell you how many varieties of bone/wing/other parts I have wrestled out of Natty's maw. When her daddy tries to do this, she snarls and hangs on for dear life. Fortunately for me, the mama (me) is the alpha in our little family. I've managed to keep all of my fingers intact.

The Mama Monster said...

What kind of moron just throws that stuff on the ground???? Seriously???? Oh man, I hope that it comes out and you are okay!!!!

Pugs2Luv said...

Oh no! We just hope everything comes "out" okay. Please don't eat porky things again. You know, if the porky thing doesn't come out the vet will have to go and get it and then who knows how little eatables you'll get. As for your human yelling HBO words, she had every right and he's very lucky it was your human and not some other human that might do something worse than yelling.

Happy day to Brigitte, Liberty and Milton

Luv, Zoey and Phoebe

Aleksia said...

I've learned when my pug gets something she shouldn't have, if I yell and try to take it, she runs and eats it, but if I just talk to her calmly, and walk up to her like nothing is wrong, she stays, or sometimes I can even get her to bring the bad thing TO me!

Erock said...

Feel better soon Puglet! Please send me good juju, I'm looking to get my first Pug soon...I'm very excited!

citydog said...

Oh Puglet, tempting though they may be, cooked bones are never a good idea.

Massive amounts of good juju your way.

Iggy and Charlie

Anonymous said...

We are praying for you and sending big time -very good juju your way!!!
xo
Puggy from Scottsdale and Scooby from heaven

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday to Brigitte, Liberty & Milton!!

Hope your belly is okay w/that bone in it! That dude was so wrong to throw his trash in the park - your human was right to yell at him.

Ann, Frodo, Molly & Cleo

Anonymous said...

Oh no Puglet...our human is also always after us for street treats. Hope you are ok, think big JUJU for you. Hope everything comes out alright!

Pearl and Tessa

Massimo said...

Dude!! That's worse than eating socks! Feel better! Major juju being sent to you!

THE PUGLET said...

Haa - totally worse than socks!!

Carla aka scrappypug said...

Ohh juju coming double power from the Winnipugs. Izzy one time at a stretchy hair band... like a scrunchie but big enough to go around your whole (human head)... she threw it up and freaked Mom out good since she didnt even know she found it ....

Wilma said...

Hi Pug,
I am totally glad your Mom saved her yelling voice for those dummies who threw down the bones. I mean, what's a pug to do when presented with free bones but gulp them down. I hope everything comes out ok. I was told peanut butter to help things glide along, but it is probably too late for that now.

Brigitte says thanks for the good wishes from you, and everyone else. She had a great day!

THE PUGLET said...

Oh, Wilma ~

Peanut butter sounds like a brilliant idea. I'll be sure and tell my human it might help - but I'm totally leaving out the 'probably too late' part. I mean, when is it ever too late for peanut butter???

THE PUGLET said...

PS: Brigitte, I will try to eat peanut butter for your day. I'm pretty sure the PB in our house even has bacon in it!

THE PUGLET said...

PPS: It's been 24 hours, 3 meals, 2 carrots and a few poops since the forbidden porky incident. So far, so good. The juju must be working!

Anonymous said...

Oh Puglet, we wish you'd be careful! But I sent juju your way that the thingy you ate came out cushioned and safe or dissolved inside you!

2pugs said...

hey puglet,what city, state do you live in?hey puglet,what city, state do you live in?

Anonymous said...

Holy Moly Puglet!!!!! You better stop eating things that are NOT "Human Approved" otherwise you're going to be finding one of those bee hat thingy's on your head. I know my human said if I keep eating stuff I shouldn't she is going to get me one. The whole liver failure thing had her totally freaked (and cost $1300) so she is TOTALLY serious about the bee hat. So take some advice from one pug to another and don't be tempted to eat forbidden "treats". Get control of yourself dude!!! I am sending a humungus amount of GOOD juju your way!!!!

Happy Whelp to Brigitte and a belated Happy Day to Milton!!!

Benny

Anonymous said...

BENNY!! We're so glad you are better!

Roxi, Riley & Lea
Those Jersey Shore Puggles

AllyB said...

Dear Puglet, There are dogs in this world that ONLY eat bones. Usually, no problem as long as they don't come from a chicken. chicken bone = splinters = bad for belly. Pork and beef bones however don't splinter like chicken bones and will be broken down in the juices in your belly. Sam, Max and I all ate rib bones one time and my person was all distraught for nothing. They disappeared like magic like all the food we eat. Just don't do it again...Your friend, LittleDog

Angry Butterfly said...

Thank You Puglet! I didn't know that dogs weren't supposed to have spare ribs and I saved two from my lunch for Dave, He already ate one but he's ok.