Wednesday, February 8, 2012

COLLATERAL DAMAGE

I don't know about your human, but mine can do some pretty dumb things. And I don't mean Gimpy-dumb, or even blonde-dumb. Just... dumb.

Y'know, stuff like trying to stop a robbery. With Mazda.


Yeah. It happened Saturday after she'd just cheated on me with 13 more pugs. We were on the way to the beach, then all of a sudden made this crazy detour. I know where the beach is and we were definitely not going there.

I was about to pitch a fit when I heard her tell someone on the phone that some guy just stole another guy's laptop and she was going to stop him. Or try to stop him. Or something.
That's when I saw this dude running down the street with a Mac, and another dude chasing after him. It was not good.

I don't know what my human thought she could do, but she followed the Mac-thief anyway... down the street and around a corner to where the getaway car was waiting. Uh huh, the getaway car. Full of dudes waiting to drive off with the thief and his hot Mac.

So my human pulls in front of the car, like she was going to block it with Mazda or something -- with me and Dutch and Gracie all stuck in the dog pod. I mean, Hello! People get shot for way less stupider things.
I've seen Law & Order.

Luckily the guy behind the wheel was the worst getaway car driver ever, so my human had time to think about how stupid she was being. And I guess she realized we could all be shot or killed or worse if she didn't move Mazda out of the way. So she pulled over to let the getaway car through, just as the angry Mac-owner showed up.

Well, this guy was even stupider than my human and tried to stop the getaway car by standing in front of it with a cell phone. Of course the driver dude drove right at him and the Mac-owner jumped out of the way to let the getaway car get away. Which it totally did. But not before hitting Mazda in the butt.

Yep.
We got hit by the getaway car. It sounded REALLY scary from inside the pod, but nobody got shot or hurt and Mazda is ok. The Law & Order people call this kind of thing "collateral damage", but I call it lucky. Mazda's missing butt paint and a smear of paint from the getaway car (a teal Honda civic) is waaay better than getting shot for having a dumb human.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

I certainly hope the Law & Order people can catch the thieves and their insurance can pay for the damage to the Mazda. I'm glad your human at least slowed down the getaway car enough so the guy could possibly get a photo of the occupants or even the license plates! Be sure to let us know what happens.
Chang from Chicago

THE PUGLET said...

Hey Chang!

The Mac-owner said his renter's insurance would pay for a new Mac. My human said something about thieves not always being law-abiding when it comes to things like car insurance - whatever that means. I do know Mazda lives on the street and this is the 3rd attack (!). My human might not even fix things, since it's only butt paint.

CrazyStuff said...

SOO Totally lucky! That barely looks like it got touched, and believe me, we know what car damage is! Talk about movie-stuff madness! How scary for the three of you in the back.

Taryn said...

I sure hope you or Mac-guy got the thief's license plate number!

Payton said...

Thank goodness you all are ok! Pug, please tell your human that she is not a crime fighter and needs to stay alive to keep working on 1000 Pugs! You guys have all of the craziest adventures.
Love,
Payton
PS. I can't get the Law and Order *donk* *donk* out of my head!

Frauntene McLarney said...

Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Puglet, I wish your human and you and Dutch lived next door....

And of course I'm uber glad you are all safe...except for Mazda, but he doesn't bleed so it's OK.

Sammy and Neko said...

Seriously... Hawaii 5-O or SF, 5-O... your human is crazy....

Sammy

Scoutie said...

Hiya Puglet. Ace photographer, wonder-dog wrangler, and now superhero? What will your human do next?

xoxo
Scoutie

moPSY+MISIOber said...

OMG it isn't funny at all!!! Your Human is so brave and so good person, but she must be carefull when next time, she'll try to stop some bad people. Our mom got hit twice last year (two different cars), and she wasn't even try to stop any thiefs, and we were with her one time. It was SCARY!! So we are happy you all are ok!!!!! We send lot of love PT

Those Jersey Shore Puggles said...

So very glad you are all OK. Mazda will wear it's wound like a badge of courage!

Once our Man drove his huge NJ Transit bus the wrong way down a one-way street to block a car that had a dude in it that just robbed a store. Too bad you’re Lady wasn’t driving a bus. Nobody will hit a bus.

Our Man got an award for bravery (he is like the bravest MAN we know) and they took a picture of his big head and put it in the newspaper AND he got to have his big head on the TV News for like 5 seconds.

You guys ought to get an award for your bravery too.

Roxi, Riley & Lea

Meredith LeBlanc said...

Say what????? This is the craziness!! We're so glad none of you were hurt! I could see blocking a getaway car is someone Pugnapped Scarlet (or any doggie), but a laptop, no way.

♥♥♥
Meredith & Scarlet

Augustus said...

Your human is *SO* cool! The most exciting thing my human ever does with her car is stop for a stray dog. I'm glad you are all okay and I think Mazda looks kind of rugged with that missing butt paint thing.

THE PUGLET said...

I think my human needs to drive a big giant bus! That way we could hit everything before it hits us :)

THE PUGLET said...

I dunno, Scoutie. But whatever it is, I hope she has a plan *before* she does it. I mean, what did she think she was going to do once we caught up with the Mac-thief???

Maggie the Pug in Dallas said...

Man what an adventure Pug! I can't believe your human did that. She should know better, but thieves can make humans do crazy things sometimes. So glad you are all ok! Great story though even if it was scary to ya'll.

Ollie said...

Oh Puglet,
So happy everyone is ok! Your safety is waaaaay more important than stuff. Sometimes you have to go against your instinct and just let the bad guy go...even if the cops don't catch him, karma will eventually bite him in the ass!

Sabrina PugTails said...

Holy crappers Puglet! Life with your human certainly is not dull! Maybe she needs to start wearing a cape and calling the Mazda the Pug-Car. Crazy humans.
I'm glad everyone (Mazda excluded) is ok.
Licks,
Sabrina

Bellatrix- I'm a pug! said...

Holy crap your mom is like a superhero. All she needs is a cape and knee high boots and she'd be set to go. Seriously though, she needs to be careful when schlepping around my boyfriend, Dutch. He's my precious cargo. You? Well you are my source of back fat edibles.
Still though your mom is pretty cool!

Emelina said...

Oh no, PUG! I'm so glad you all are OK! Don't take the law in your our hands (or paws)... it can be dangerous. Please tell your human that she is my hero no matter what!

~Massimo

Hal and Opal said...

Whoa Puglet, that is quite the scary situation!

Our mom works for a police department and she says your human should probably leave the crime fighting to the cops. You know, since they have guns and stuff. :)

Glad to hear everyone is OK (except Mazda).

Your friends in Seattle,

Hal and Opal

Anonymous said...

Wow that is some crazy excitement! I'm glad you are all safe! The jersey puggles may have just given you another point to use in your negotiations for a Tour Bus.
Paula from DE

Noodle said...

OH. MY. DOG!! This is crazy! I'm glad you are all okay. Kudos to your human for trying to do the right thing. Humans get all crazy like that when they see injustice. My mom would probably have done something just as stupid. What an adventure for 3 dogs, eh?

Gracie the Agility Pug said...

Your mom is hilarious! After 1000 Pugs wraps up, you need to start working on "Puglet, the movie". She's a girl after my own mom's heart - kick a**.

But seriously, she needs to be careful - we're glad she's OK, even if mazda isn't.

Scoutie said...

Hey P. I think she was probably going to sic YOU on him! THAT would teach him...

xoxo
Scoutie

THE PUGLET said...

Oh yeah, Scoutie. I would have scared the beejesus out of that Mac-stealer!

Still. Hal + Opal are probably right - we should let the cops with guns take care of the people who might shoot us (Bellatrix's po-lice dad said the same thing).

I seriously don't think my human thought... she just saw something bad and wanted to fix it. Lucky for all of us the getaway driver was slower than a sloth. Who knows what would have happened if my human didn't have time to come to her senses.

pugfish said...

Pug-man,
Holy Toledo Batmanpug!My human has Law and Order on her phone for a ring. We watch it every night. I bet if the original series was on we would see you RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES!!!
I sure am glad you are alright phew!
you pal Joey

Max and Minnie the Pugs said...

Hey Puglet! Tell your human not to act SO nutty. Pug safety first!

Pugs2Luv said...

Maybe next time your human decides to put everyone' life at risk without considering the possible consequences, act like you're going to puke in the car that would have stopped her. Thankfully everyone is unharmed. We understand that your human just wanted to right a wrong; the impulse alone puts good juju into the universe. Hopefully the next adventure will not be so precarious.
Luv, Zoey & Phoebe

Suki said...

Hi Pug!
OH MY GOSH! That's one heck of an adventure. Sooo glad you all are safe & sound. But that's scary.

Hugs,
Suki

Eddie the Pug said...

Oh wowser! Glad everybody is okay...How scary!

toddbuddy said...

I told you you strap a 45 on ya.... Horton

Anonymous said...

Next time I say just get the liscense plate! Scary stuff

Anne said...

Puglet,

My Mom does stupid stuff like that ALL the time with no regard to us too!!! She just gets so mad when she see's something unjust going down that the reasonable part of her brains shuts off and she thinks she's Chuck Norris or some other bullet-proof person! Tell your mom next time to follow from a discreet distance on her cell phone call 911. Oh and tell her to keep the butt-paint and wear it like a badge of honor against those stinking theives!!

Buddy and Lucey

Anonymous said...

Geez oh wizz Puglet what was your human thinking..........

Is she ka-razy of something?! Its nice to help someone but she could have gotten hurt or worse and you three in the pod could be hurt too.

When we moved to Texas our dad saw a guy throw garbage out of his car window, dad drove along side the guy and started yelling at him...the guy pulled a can of soda and threw it at dad, the can missed but the soda inside made a mess of Xterra. At first our mom was mad as a hornet then she laughed her head off.

Moral of the story sometimes it safer *and cheaper* to mind your own business.

Ellie, Emmitt and Eli

Pearl and Tessa said...

Wow, invisioning a street chase all over the city, ala Steve McQueen or Streets of San Francisco! You guys must have been scared! Glad everyone (cept Mazada) is ok.