IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMETHING FLIES UP YOUR SNOUT

I'm pretty sure my human wasn't lying when she said the flies wouldn't hurt me. She probably just didn't know one of them was going to get stuck in my snout. Because if she *did* know something was going to get stuck in my snout, she probably wouldn't have let it happen in the middle of a field a few miles from the car.

But that's exactly what happened. And it hurt.
If you've never had anything stuck in your snout, there's not a whole lot you can do about it. I tried coughing it up. Didn't work. I rolled around on the ground. Didn't work either. That's when the sneezing started. I'm not talking a few sneezes either. I mean crazy sneezing. Y'know, the kind that freaks out your human.

My human was extra freaked out about the sneezing because she thought I inhaled one of those evil foxtail things. I guess she saw one stuck to my face and thought it went up my snout. From the video footage:

I don't know if it was a fly or a fox or what, but whatever was up my snout wanted OUT. I was sneezing so bad I couldn't walk. We were miles from Mazda and I HATE being carried.

ME: can't you fix this??
HUMAN: I don't think so.
ME: can't you ask Google or something?
HUMAN: good idea.

My human didn't have enough bars or whatever on Droid to get help from Google so she did the next best thing and called spotted Miley's mom. I couldn't hear what she was saying but my human's half went something like:

HUMAN: I don't have anything to flush it out with.
MILEY'S MOM: (stuff I couldn't hear)
HUMAN: no, they drink out of the cow troughs.
MILEY'S MOM: (stuff I couldn't hear) 
HUMAN: uhhhh, I guess I could use spit?

And that's when my human held me down and tried to spit up my snout. That's right. Her spit. My snout. I swear she was trying to kill me.

HUMAN: hold still!
ME: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!
HUMAN: we need to lubricate your nose.
ME: (sneeze sneeze sneeze)

I was sneezing too bad to argue but I was *not* happy about any of this. If I was the kind of dog that bites people in the face, it would have been the perfect time to bite her face off. I might not be a biter, but I do eat poo. And to spit up my snout, your lips need to be reeeeallly close to my mouth.

Remember this picture from the other day?

yummy cowpie!

It was taken a few minutes before my human spit up my snout. I guess I can't be too mad at her for doing it because whatever was stuck in me came out. But if she pulls anything like that again, I'm going to make sure my face is covered in fresh cowpie first.