FOUR MEN & A SCARY ROPE

Hello everybody! I'm so glad to see you!! It's been a very long time and there are soooo many many things I want to tell you about - but today I'm supposed to talk about Pug. And because I'm nice, I will.

Even though I feel sick from a pee infection and would rather much rather talk about warm & fuzzy things (like my new pink sweater), I will talk about Pug. I am that nice. But first, for the record, I'm not 100% convinced Pug didn't fall off the cliff in an attempt to ruin my birthday and/or get sympathy cupcakes. He swears that isn't true but I still have doubts.

Now back to the cliff...

My human knew from seeing other humans on the evening news that climbing down a cliff to rescue your dog usually ends in everyone being rescued by the Coast Guard. But there weren't many other options.

ME (DUTCH): maybe you should just call the Coast Guard people?

HUMAN: uggghhh, there will still be helicopters.

ME (DUTCH): yes! And Pug will be on the news. You know he'd love to be on TV again.

HUMAN: ughhhh

Then along came a man on a bike. My human pointed to Pug on the cliff and explained the situation. Bikeman didn't think the cliff was steep enough to kill anybody, but agreed it would not be good to climb down it. At least without a rope. So Instead of calling the Coast Guard, my genius human asked the nice man on the bike if he knew anyone at the harbor with a rope. 

I kid you not. 

Why a rope seemed like a better idea than the Coast Guard, I have no idea. But we all know my human isn't excellent at thinking about all the things that might go wrong so hanging by a rope off a cliff probably sounded just fine. I would have gone for a helicopter, but that's just me. 

So Bikeman peddaled off and we waited. And waited. And waited. Do you know how hard it is to stand around doing nothing when someone you love is on the side of a cliff, freaked out and cackling? It's hard. Very hard. My human took pictures and called Miley's mom to make herself feel better while I just stood there getting an ulcer.

A few minutes later, three new men came along. They had Vizslas, not bikes, and I got in trouble for grumping at one of them for having testicles. A Vizsla I mean, I don't care if men have testicles or not.

Vizsla-man #1 thought Operation Rope was a really bad idea and suggested we call 911 instead. He mentioned a helicopter. Vizsla-man #2 thought it'd be better to go to the bottom of the cliff and get Pug to go down instead of up. He volunteered to stay up at the top with me so Pug wouldn't think we abandoned him. Vizsla-man #3 just shook his head and said nothing.

My human wasn't sure if Bikeman was even coming back with a rope and wasn't entirely sure what she'd do with one if he did, so she decided Viszla-man #2's plan was probably a better idea. She handed me over to one of the Viszla-men, told Pug to hang on and headed for the trail down to the beach.

She didn't make it very far before running into Bike Man. He had a rope.

Now, I don't know a thing about ropes. But this one looked extremely scary. Here is a close up:

See what I mean? Scary. My human used to tie herself to ropes and climb giant rocks all the time and didn't seem to care, but I could tell by the way the Viszla-men were looking at the rope that I wasn't the only one who was afraid. Bike Man said he got it from his friend's crab boat like that was supposed to make us all feel better. This didn't help.

I really want to tell you what happened next, but just thinking about it is really stressing me out. I'm feeling a bit faint. Must lie down. 

More. Tomorrow.

Love & kisses,

Dutch

PS: Please tell Pug I had to leave because my bladder is sick so he won't make fun of me for being a princess.