And I'm a pooaholic. My human says admitting this is the first step to something called recovery which I think is the same thing as not eating any more poo. I think she's been watching too much Intervention, but we had a really bad moment yesterday and my human says I will stay on-leash forever if I don't quit the poo ASAP.
She'll also take away The DP. And I won't get to go to Texas or anywhere else. I REALLY don't want any of those things to happen, so I'm going to do everything I can to kick the poo. Even if it means eating a nasty banana for breakfast (nasty!) and admitting to stuff I'm not 100% guilty of.
So here goes...
I am powerless over poo and this is hurting me and the people I love. Yesterday my human had to throw Droid at me to my stop poo-inhaling. It didn't hurt because she was like 30 feet away and has no aim, but I guess it could have hurt so I guess that counts. Google says I can get sick from eating poo, and I guess that could hurt too.
Being stuck on a leash doesn't exactly hurt but it does totally suck.
I know my human must be hurting at least a little because poo-eating makes her yell and she never yells. I also know she wouldn't throw Droid or cancel yesterday's Daily Puglet unless something was really wrong with her.
Poo is everywhere and hard to resist, but I don't want to hurt anyone. Or lose you. Or spend the rest of eternity on a leash. If anyone here has ever kicked the poo habit, please please please tell me how you did it!