FFF: mountain lion, shmountain lion

As you know, most of our usual adventures have been on hold lately. And even though they've mostly been replaced by food and I'm cool with that, a life without adventure is... well... kinda boring.

The one adventure I miss most is our Saturday morning hike with the cows. I miss chasing the momma cows. I miss eating the baby cows' pies. And apparently last weekend, I missed seeing a real, live mountain lion.

Uh huh. You heard me. Mountain lion.

I know this because a supernice lady named Dana sent my human an email about it:

Hi Amanda,

Mary and I frequently run into you out at Wildcat Canyon. Today when we were out there, a couple of men told us they were about to jog into the hills by the water fountain when they came upon a mountain lion/bobcat. Mary and I just wanted you to know about this since you walk with your dogs frequently alone. We've missed seeing you. Hope you enjoyed the beautiful weekend!

OK. It was supernice of Dana to warn us about the lion, but she has no idea. I'm not afraid of lions. I'm not afraid of anything, really. Except maybe the sound tinfoil makes. That stuff is way scary. Oh, and hail. Hail is scary. But lions? Aren't they just big cats? If I can take on an angry momma cow, I can take on a cat.

I even checked with Google to make sure I can handle a mountain lion encounter. Sounds totally doable to me.

IF YOU ENCOUNTER A MOUNTAIN LION...

BACK AWAY, BUT DON'T RUN!

Do not run from a lion. Back away from it slowly, but only if you can do so safely. Running may stimulate a lion's instinct to chase and attack. Face the lion and stand upright. Make eye contact.

SEEK SHELTER

Move slowly and position trees, boulders or other large objects between yourself and the lion. Do not lose sight of the lion. Be prepared to act.

DO ALL YOU CAN TO APPEAR LARGER

If the lion still approaches, make yourself larger than life. Raise your arms and speak firmly in a large voice. Show no fear.

BE MENACING

Give the lion a cold, hard stare. Show your teeth. (A woman attacked at Cuyamaca Rancho State Park may have saved herself by baring her teeth, growling and staring the lion down as it approached her). Make loud, menacing sounds, like yelling and growling.

IF ATTACKED, FIGHT BACK

Try to stay on your feet if a lion attacks you. Lions have been driven off by prey that fights back. Since lions usually try to bite the head or neck, try to remain standing and face the attacking lion head on. Throw stones, branches, or whatever you can grab without crouching down or turning your back to the lion.

Totally doable, right??