Ok. There isn't much about sleeping on the floor that I like, but I did figure out one good thing about it: I can do things in the middle of the night without waking up my human. Snoring is one of those things. Sneaking outside to forage for snacks is another.And by snacks, I mean poop. Secret poop. Hidden poop. Poop I stash in the bushes so my human won't see it and take it away.
For the past few nights I've been sneaking outside in the middle of the night to snack on my poo-stash and my human hasn't had a clue. Not. A. Clue. Until this morning when we ran into our downstairs neighbor and he totally narcked me out!
Yeah.
Neighbor dude likes to sneak outside in the middle of the night to smoke, so on my way to the bushes I'd see him on the stairs and stop to say hi. And today he goes and tells human that I've been hanging out with him during my "2am pee trips"! My human *knows* I don't have to pee at 2am because our last pee happens at like 11pm. She is now very suspicious and I'm afraid she's going to start closing the dogdoor at night and take away the only snack I have left in my life.
I need one of those alibi things. Like, now.
Help?
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25 comments:
Oh. Puglet. You are just. awesome. :) I love your determination! :)
Oh boy, Pug.
Do you hear that? That's the sound of the dog door locking.
Just play it innocent for like 5 days and maybe gimpy brain will forget about the poop and unlock the soon to be locked door.
Licks,
Molly in PA
Uh, Puglet . . . You are talkin' POOP! I like to SNIFF it but I don't consider it edible. You are BETTER than this obsession!
TOUGH Love Noodles
Romeo is all about you and your late night snacks, because he is a poop eater too. Me, his mom, doesn't even want his face close to me because he stinks so bad, and that is a sad fact. He would get a lot more lovin if he didn't eat poop.
Hola Puglet!!
You could sayyou were with us!!
And the nieghbor problaby ate the poop and said it was you.
Bechos
Spongy & Lciky
LOL oh my god, this post just *MADE MY DAY*! Best post ever lol gotta love Puglet
Hey Puglet,
Nightly roamings will make anyone need to pee. If you were on the bed, this wouldn't be an issue.
Admit to the nightly visits, but play dumb on anything else. The human, she doesn't need to know about any alterior agenda.
Good luck at keeping the doggy door unlocked,
Sabrina
You are SO busted!!
-Kris from Oklahoma
Oh dear. Tell her you like to look at the stars. Or visit with the neighbor. You're friendly. It happens :)
Muah,
Minnie Moo
Wow Puglet,
All access doggie door? Secret poo stash? All night poo snacking?
All I have to say is you are, paws down, THE luckiest dog in the whole wide world.
Well, she's either going to find your poo stash or your poostache, you can't keep secrets like that forever!
"Poostache." That's awesome.
Hugs, but no kisses for you Puglet, 'til you stop the poo eating!
Scoutie
We agree with Spongy and Licky...it was the neighbor eating the yard sausages and trying to pin the blame on poor cute YOU. If he's gross enough to stick a cigarette in his piehole, then poop wouldn't be too far of a stretch.
If mom DOES lock your doggie door at night...just be sure to take a squat RIGHT in front of the door and leave her a nice puddle that she'll have to clean up in the morning. That'll teach her.
As for an alibi...you can totally say you were with me....I'm on Roxy's road trip snowbus and we were in Cali last night picking up Benny and Lily the Frenchies!
Good luck Dude!
Love,
S-Dog
We are with Salinger...although we wouldn't eat poo (Love the "yard sausage" comment)...except bunny poo. You can train your human...either it will get you back in bed, or the freedom to snack.
Hey Puglet...
You are just so determined.
like this one :)
http://www.mahalo.com/pug-attack-super-bowl-commercial/
xo
That is just icky Puglet. Your neighbor was good to nark an ya!
Aine.
Hi Puglet,
My human has been talking about fencing in the yard and putting in a dog door but like you I eat (LOVE) pooh. I also eat rocks, sticks, cigarette butts and anything else I can get my mouth on. My human keeps muttering something about a bee hat contraption you mentioned a while back.......I think you need to move to where there is SNOW. It is the one and only thing my human lets me feast on. The only time she gets mad at me for my obsession with snow is when it is like 28 below zero and I'm suppossed to be doing my business. But then all I have to do is limp around from frozen paws and she forgets about my eating disorder, picks me up and smothers me with love. I have her so wrapped around my paw ;)
Benny
I don't get it. My brother Beans eats tootsie rolls too. He's always getting yelled at to get away from me while I am, well... you know, doing my business. Hmmm as far as an abili, I would tell your human that you are trying to help your neighbor stop smoking and your neighbor is trying to get you to stop eating 'tootsie rolls'. Who can argue with that?!? Be careful Puglet, you could pick up some nasty parasites from someone else's tootsies. My friend Clarence got hookworm and he almost went to sleep over it. Good luck. Tink
HAHAHAHA!! LOL!!! LOVE IT! This is the best blog yet! Thanks so much for turning this frown upside down! LOL!!
-Massimo and His Human
Hey Puglet:
You were great in the superbowl ad!
Puglet,
Never a dull moment eh? You are too funny, you have to be more sneaky!!!!
Hiya Puglet! Our pug Sid has done a lot of legal research for the pilot script of his new series, Law and Order: Special Pugs Unit. He says the DA's case against you is circumstantial at best since, you know, you ate the key evidence, and there's no way the DA can get a court order to lock that doggy door without some proof that you were indeed NOT peeing when you went outside those nights at 2am. Stick to your guns, and you'll be back out there on the streets eating poop in no time.
Oh Puglet! What a wonderful way to start my Tuesday! Laughing till tears fall. Hope your snackfest isn't blocked off. Lol.
Megan
Tough situation Puglet. I hope gimpy brain doesn't lock your dog door. My sister Megan goes and eats poo too.
Good Luck,
Isabella
I think you need to move to where there is SNOW. It is the one and only thing my human lets me feast on. The only time she gets mad at me for my obsession with snow is when it is like 28 below zero and I'm suppossed to be doing my business.
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