SECOND DATE HEARTBREAK (sort of)

Ever since my date with Twizzle, I haven't been about to think about anything else. Not hot dogs. Not bacon. Not even SPAM.

So when I heard my human was going to the Peninsula Humane Society yesterday, I begged her if I could go too. I think my human likes Twizzle just as much as I do, so of course she totally said yes.

Since Twizzle liked me all pond scummy, I didn't bother to take a bath or anything. I wasn't sure if she'd be allowed to have toys from "the outside", so I got a bag of Pirates Booty instead. I thought we could have a picnic and get to know each other better. There's so much about Twizzle I don't know and I know I'll only like her more the more I, uh, know.

Anyway.

Twizzle told me she never gets visitors, so I couldn't wait to surprise her. I waited under our tree with the bag of Booty and practiced being my cutest while one of the nice volunteer ladies went inside to tell Twizzle.

So I waited. And waited. And then waited some more. I started to get really nervous. And a lot sad. Maybe Twizzle didn't want to see me again. Maybe she didn't really like how pond scum smells. Or the way my but smells. Or worse.


When I saw the lady walk out the door without my Twizzle, my heart hurt so bad. It felt like a great big angry momma cow was stomping it to death. But then the lady cheered and said "Yay! Twizzle is gone!"

Gone?

Gone. I didn't understand why this was something to yay about until my human explained that gone = adopted. After 6 months of being homeless, Twizzle finally found her new people. I'm really happy for Twizzle and know this is supergood news - even if my heart still kinda hurts a little.

* * *

TODAY IS NOT SPECIAL

But we do need some more juju! Ellie in San Antonio (1 of the 3 EEEs) is having a bad back problem. Like, bad. She said our juju helped her brother Emmitt heal after they took the rocks out of his bladder and is wondering if she could have some too (please).

NO DOGS ALLOWED

Hi everybody, it's Dutch. Pug needed some time to get ready for another date with the Twizzle girl so he said I could be the blog today. Hope you don't mind.

I'm very glad Pug told you how fabulous The Sams Clinic is. He doesn't always tell the whole truth. The trip he took to the supermarket, for example? Yes, there was meat. And bacon. And maybe even Golden Chickens. But there was also this one little thing Pug forgot to mention:

Yes. A sign that says no dogs/animals. To be fair, my human didn't see the sign either. When we were visiting the cheese, a nice man stopped and asked if it was ok to pet me. He said he used to have a Dalmatian (this happens a lot) and didn't want to bother me if I was working. At first I thought maybe he meant modeling (I hate cameras!!) but he meant being a service dog.

Cheese.

My human explained to the nice man that we were just there to visit the cheese and take pictures. She told him about Pug's meat tour and his blog and they talked about how crazy it is they let so many non-service dogs into our supermarket. That's when the man told her about the sign.

Ooops.

Luckily I do have one of the special tags so we -- I -- didn't break any laws. But my human said our adventures in the supermarket are officially over. She hasn't mentioned this to Pug yet, so please don't tell him. I think he's hoping there might be a sequel or something?

Supermarket Adventure 2: the inner aisles.

I'd never hear the end of it if he thinks I ruined his chances of making this happen.

The scent of Golden Chickens.

To all the who law-abiding dogs who will never set paw inside a supermarket, there is a moral to this story. In pet food stores you get cookies, in human food stores you get nothing AND might get arrested.

PS: I didn't get to see the Golden Chickens, and that made me a little sad. But I did get to smell them and am very grateful for that.

SAMS ROCKS!

I know a lot of you live nowhere near here. But Dutch wanted me to tell you about his new special vet. Because he LOVES her. And my human LOVES her too. And even though I've never been vetted there, I guess I love her too because the place gives out free cookies.

The place is called The Sams Clinic and Dutch's new vet (Dr. Klopp) is a neurologist & neurosurgeon. Dutch has seen like a million different special vets for his mysterious scratching, but none of them have been like Dr Klopp. She has no idea what's wrong (I think Dutch is just a freak), but she's trying really hard to figure it out.

Last week she gave him some shots to maybe make the scratching stop. My human says it's an experiment and might not work, but at least Dr. Klopp is trying something.

Sams cookie window.

Anyway. The first time Dutch went to Sams, I didn't get to go. But when he told me there's a special window in the waiting room for handing out cookies, I totally begged my human to take me to his next appointment. She said OK, so last week when Dutch was busy getting shot, I hung out at the cookie window.


I tried to look kinda sick so the people behind the desk would feel bad and give me a cookie. Y'know, for having to get poked at by a vet and everything. But the Sams people totally know what they're doing and could tell I wasn't really sick. They gave me a whole bunch of cookies (and kisses and head pats) anyway and now I love them too.

* * *

IT'S A SPECIAL DAY IN ORANGE COUNTY!
Let's all eat a big fat cookie for P. Tuna. If you don't have any cookies to eat (?!?!), tell your human to check out P. Tuna's recipe for Peanut Butter Pugscotti on page 19 of the Daily Puglet Cookiebook.

HEY WHENCE

So, yesterday someone beat up Mazda. It happened right in front of our house. I don't know why because it wasn't like Mazda did anything to anyone. I mean, the little guy was just sitting there with all the other cars. Y'know, parked.

And get this - the person who did it just drove off. Yeah. Like nothing ever happened. Except something totally happened and there's no way on earth this person didn't know what they did.

No way.

Now, I know no one here would ever beat up on a poor, innocent car because everyone here is completely awesome. But if you beat up a car by mistake, I'm sure you'd all totally stop to make sure the car was ok. And then you'd leave a note or something, right?

Of course you would.

So this message is for the rest of the internet. And for the lady in the brown Toyota Camry with the plate thing that says 'WHENCE' on it:

Don't hit things and run away! Because even if some person sitting at a cafe doesn't see what you did and write a note for you... with all your info on it... you know that Karma thing? It will totally get you. Maybe not today, or tomorrow. But it will.

Busted!

* * *

DOUBLE SPECIALNESS
Woo hoo! Today we get to eat cookies for two. It's Myko's Whelp Day here in San Francisco and down in Dallas, Texas it's Snookie's Gotcha Day.

Happy days to both of you!

MY DATE WITH TWIZZLE

So, my date with Twizzle was pretty amazing. I was a little nervous at first and trying really hard to remember everything everyone said, but Twizzle was so cool it didn't matter what I did. She went right in for the butt-sniff and said I smelled good. She was happy just to see me and said she doesn't get visitors "from the outside" very often. Like, ever.

It was a little embarrassing having my human there. She kept taking pictures and the other volunteers were all watching us. It was all Awww this and Ooooh, awwww that. Yeah. Kinda hard to get to know a girl when the whole world is watching. But we shared some cookies (my famous SPAM Balls!) and I kinda liked that part too. I didn't feel like going poodle on her at all.

Twizzle told me a little about what it's like to be homeless. She says everyone at the Peninsula Humane place is supernice, but she really wants humans of her own. She used to have a family, but didn't seem to want to talk about that. Maybe that's second-date kinda stuff?

Anyway, I think Twizzle felt funny about being homeless so I told her me and Dutch were recycled once too. I could tell this made her feel better because she started rolling around at my feet and stuff. You should have heard all the Awwwwwws when that happened.

It wanted to ask Twizzle if she has a boyfriend, but I didn't know if that's cool so I didn't. But I did ask if she wants to play and eat cookies with me again. And she said yes!

Woo hoo!

It was really hard to say goodbye to Twizzle, but my human promised me we'll have a date #2 soon. So if anyone has any second date advice, please please let me know. I really like this girl!

* * *

HELLLLLLO SPECIAL DAY!
It's Edward the pirate pug's whelp day. Edward gets to be a pirate because he only has one eye. How cool is that? I couldn't wait until after breakfast, so I already ate a cookie for Edward :)

SOS! NEED MORE JUJU!
Emmitt (of the infamous 3 Es/San Antonio Pugs) needs some juju today. Last week the vet found rocks in his bladder and today he's having surgery to get those rocks out. Please send lots of juju his way!!

IMPORTANT STUFF

OK. I know everyone is dying to know how my date with Twizzle went. And holy cowpies, she is so awesome (I smelled like pond scum and she liked it!). But you're going to have to wait until Monday to hear about it, because today I have waaaay more important stuff to talk about...

The C-word.

Yeah. It's attacking one of us again. I got an email yesterday from a pug buddy named Chomper, asking if I could send some good juju her way. She had surgery yesterday to remove a lump on her leg. The vet said it's a mast cell tumor.

Mast cell = C-word.

The final C-word test results won't be back until Tuesday, so we have a few days to throw a whole bunch of good juju at it. If Chomper really does have the C-word, we want it to be the Grade 1, no chemo kind.

Here's a picture of Chomper, so the juju will know exactly where to go:

Send your good juju to: Chomper (San Jose, CA)

I'll be back Monday with all the details about my date and more pictures of me and Miss Twizzle!

* * *

TODAY IS SPECIAL!

Happy Birthday to Jasmine! I don't know where Jasmine lives, but I'll be eating a cookie for her. Right after I eat breakfast.

TODAY IS EARTH DAY!

Happy Day to planet Earth!! I think everyone on earth has seen my Green Pug video by now - but if you haven't, here it is:

youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKoLBSK8SSE

WHAT'S SLOWER THAN A SQUIRREL?

Big fat thanks for telling me how to impress Twizzle. I'm meeting her under the tree later today and will try to remember all the things I'm supposed to do. And not do.

Speaking of things I'm not supposed to do...

My human took today's video at the park yesterday when Dutch was running around like a total freak after the squirrels. Total waste of time, if you ask me. Since he never comes close to catching one, I decided to go for something a little... slower.

Like ducks.

I didn't exactly catch one. But I came pretty close. Sooo much closer than Dutch did with the squirrels.

NEED SOME ADVICE

OK, this is kinda embarrassing but I need some help. In the, uhm, love department. Y'know, like how to get a girl to like you back.

You might remember when I fell in love with Jenny the pug and needed help. Ollie the wise Canadian beagle has a girlfriend and said I should write Jenny a poem, so I wrote her poems. She seemed to like my poem, so I wrote her a special Valentine's Day haiku (and sent her a bully penis). I'm not sure if it was my poetry or just because Jenny lives in another state, but things didn't work out.

Anyway, I haven't felt love since then.

Until last month. When I went to the place where the homeless dogs live. I wasn't 100% happy about my human using Nikon on other dogs, so I kept a close eye on things from the car. That's when I saw her.

Her

She was completely cute and totally worked it for Nikon. I didn't know her name, so in my head I called her Heidi. Y'know, like the supermodel lady. Usually I wouldn't be happy about my human using Nikon to help another dog look cute. But with Heidi, it didn't bother me at all.

That's when I knew she might be the one.

So I told my human how Heidi made me feel. And she told me her name isn't Heidi, it's Twizzle. Uhm, OK. Twizzle. She also thought Twizzle was pretty cool and said she'd ask Peninsula Humane Society to set us up. Like on a date.

And they said yes!!

We're meeting tomorrow. And now I'm supernervous because I think I really want Twizzle to like me back. Any advice??

* * *

IT'S ANOTHER SPECIAL DAY!

Happy Born Day to Zoey (of Phoebe + Zoey) here in the Bay Area. I'll be eating a cookie with my breakfast to celebrate your day :)

HEY LIBYA

So, I usually don't care a whole lot about human stuff. Unless it's really bad. Like a tsunami. Or I can eat it. Like bacon. But has anyone else noticed the price of car juice? I don't know what it's like where you live, but here in San Francisco it's kinda insane.

And why do I care how much it costs to feed the car? Because the more money Mazda eats, the less money there is to buy me things. Things like cookies and bull penises and adventures in far away places.

Not cool.

Yesterday it cost $52 to feed Mazda. Do you have any freaking idea how many cookies you can probably buy with $52? I don't know exactly how many, but I'm sure it's a lot.

I heard the radio man say it's Libya's fault. I don't know who this Libya person is or what they're doing to make car juice so expensive. But I want them to stop it. Like, now.

Libya, if you're reading this - can you please stop messing with our car juice? Please?? I'll give you a cookie.

* * *

IT'S A DOUBLE SPECIAL DAY!

Oh, SPAM! Miss Gimpy totally forgot to add the special days that came in after our calendar-making party. Duh. And get this, today is special for two California pugs. I wonder if they were born together?!?

Petunia is from around here (San Fran Bay Area) and Pugsley is from Oak Park in southern California. I don't know how old Petunia is, but today is special day #9 for Pugsley. Happy Born Day to both of you!!

I just ate a supertasty bacon-peanut butter-banana cookie in honor of your day. Thanks for being born!

PS: and thanks Pugsley's mom for reminding us :)

ROCKY, ROO & LUCIA

What the???

Don't worry. I'm not going to spend another whole entire week talking about my adventure in the supermarket. But I was so excited to tell you all about the food, I totally forgot to tell you about the other dogs I saw there. Y'know, the ones who weren't stuck in bags or carts?

Yeah, them. Rocky, Roo and Lucia.

My human was afraid of another poodle incident, so she used her phone to take their pictures. Droid doesn't take pictures any better than it speaks pug, but you can totally see these other dogs were allowed to wander around like normal dogs. In the supermarket!

Roo

We met Roo near the Golden Chicken. I asked my human why he didn't have to sit in a bag and she said he must have one of those special service-dog tags. Except he didn't! He was a regular dog, just like me.

Rocky

Then we met Rocky. He was over by the frozen Novelties, and not in a bag or cart. He didn't have a special tag either! My human even asked his dad about it, just in case he forget to wear it that day or something. But Rocky's dad had no idea what she was even talking about.

Lucia

I was starting to think my human was making the whole special tag thing up so she could take pictures of me stuck in a bag. But then we met Lucia. She was walking around like a normal dog too -- except she had one of the special tags on her collar.

The special tags are pretty big and have a map of California on them. Kinda hard to miss. But for some reason, our supermarket doesn't check if you have a tag. This means lots of dogs get to go there. Even big ones. Like Dutch.

Seriously?!?

That's right. I could have walked around all over the store. Except my dorky human doesn't think it's cool to bring your dog into a grocery store unless you have a special tag.

Or, uh, a really good reason. Y'know, like wanting to show all your friends what the inside of a supermarket is like.

ASSISTANCE NEEDED

Compared to everything else in the supermarket, the dog section was pretty lame. But my human needed something to keep me in the cart, so just grabbed the smallest bag of cookies they had. She called it 'SPAM for dogs' but it didn't taste anything like SPAM.

I got to eat the cookies while we visited the rest of the store. Lots of boxes and cans. Kinda boring, but do you know they make like a gazillion kinds of SPAM? SPAM & Cheese. Hot & Spicy SPAM. SPAM and Baaaacon! I wanted to bring them all home with us, but my human said my bag of 'SPAM for dogs' cookies was all we'd be buying.

Assistance needed.

The buying part turned out to be pretty funny. We went through this self-checkout thing, but when my human tried to pay for my cookies, it acted like no one's ever tried to buy a half eaten bag of food before. Somehow the stupid machine knew how much a bag of dog cookies is supposed to weigh, but since my bag of cookies was half empty it just kept saying Assistance Needed.

Assistance Needed! Assistance Needed! Assistance Needed!

My human wasn't exactly happy about needing assistance with my half-eaten bag of cookies. But the supermarket lady who helped us was supernice. She thought it was funny that I couldn't wait until we got home to eat my cookies. That's my kind of lady.

Supermarket souvenir: Dog "SPAM"

I hope everyone enjoyed my adventure in the supermarket as much as I did. Don't feel bad if you never get to go in one though. It was superfun and all, but the closest I came to eating anything was licking the door of the frozen Novelties.

Don't tell my human, but compared to bacon and Golden Chicken, this is what I think about wannabe "SPAM" for dogs.

* * *

IT'S A SUPER SPECIAL DAY!!
Happy gotcha to One-Eyed Jack in Frederick, MD!!
And a big fat Happy born day to Harley and Mimi!

HOMEMADE GOODNESS

You can find the #1 best thing in the whole entire supermarket under a sign that says Homemade Goodness. It caught my nose the minute we walked in the door, but was the very last stop on our Tour de Meat.

I had no freaking idea what Homemade Goodness is, so I asked my human what it was and what made it smell so ridiculously tasty. She said there are whole cooked chickens inside those little boxes. A whole flock of them. Skin, bones, meat and everything!

Homemade Goodness is good.

Insanely good.

I was really surprised that the #1 best thing in the whole entire supermarket isn't behind glass. But it is under special lights. My human said the special lights warm up the meat and make it extra smelly. I told her we need to get some of those lights for our house.

And, uh, some meat to go with them.

She just laughed and told me to enjoy the smell. And then wheeled me off to see the vegetables.

I have no idea why my human thought I'd want to look at carrots when I could be smelling chickens. But I didn't want to leave the supermarket so I tried to act like I care where carrots come from.

Where carrots come from.

And then... something really freaky happened. You know that loud, scary noise that happens sometimes when it rains? Well, it happens at the supermarket. Like, inside the supermarket. Where the carrots live.

Yeah. Boom! Boom! Boom! And then rain.

Freaked. Me. Out.

My human tried to calm me down with a handful of cookies, but when she reached into her cookie pocket it was empty. Apparently she seriously underguesstimated how many cookies it would take to keep me in the cart in a store full of meat. So we left the carrots and headed for the dog cookies...

And that will be the last stop on our adventure in the supermarket. It's pretty funny, so come back tomorrow.

* * *

IT'S ANOTHER SPECIAL DAY!!
Woo hoo! Let's all eat a cookie for Pablo's birthday :)

HAPPIEST PLACE, part 2

Ready To Go (in my belly) Meat

So after we stopped to look at the meat, we went to see - more meat! I told you this place was full of meat. Get this - next to the big chunks of naked meat in the glass box, and the wall of meat pillows (!), there were three more entire meat sections. Maybe four. I kinda lost count.

OK, here goes:

There was meat for kitties (and Massimo), AKA seafood. Y'know, fish and crabs and things in shells. I've seen all this stuff at the beach before, so I wasn't that excited. But I know a lot of you don't live near a beach, so here's a look at the ocean-meat section.

Ocean Meat

There was also something called 'Ready To Go' meat. No idea where the meat was ready to go, but I reeeeally wanted it to go in my belly. When I was watching the Ready Meat, I met a really nice man (that's his hand in the picture). He was there to buy something called salami.

Salami? No idea. Anyone here ever had it??

I asked my human to move the cart thing reeeally close to the Ready-Meat, hoping some might fall in and then we'd have to buy it. Figured that was the only way I'd get her to buy me any. I was able to get a really good sniff, but nothing fell into our cart.

Meat Tubes

Across from the Ready-Meat was a great big wall of Meat Tubes (Nathan's and snausages). There were fat tubes, skinny tubes, pink, red and white tubes. All made of meat (and other stuff). I stared at them until my neck hurt and eyes almost fell out.

BAAAACON!

Next to the Meat Tubes, I saw a HUgE bunch of bacon. You have no idea how hard it was not to break the No-Licking rule at the bacon enclosure.

Ok, now just in case you're a freak like my human and not so into the meat stuff, there are other things at the supermarket. I saw a whole bunch of stuff called "Novelties". They were in glass boxes like the special meat, so I thought they must be supertasty. After sooo much looking-but-not-touching, I kinda broke one of my human's rules and kinda touched one of the glass boxes. With my tongue.

BRRRRR!

Uhm, yeah. If you ever get to go to the supermarket, do NOT lick the glass boxes where the Novelties live. Apparently they are freezers, which means that they are cold and licking cold is NOT fun. Luckily my human thought it was kinda funny so I didn't get in trouble or anything.

Cookies + Stuff

There are also cookies (human variety). And lots of them. Kinda boring though. None of them were special enough to be locked up in a glass box. One thing I learned: at the supermarket, most of the good stuff is behind glass.

Donuts

Like these things called donuts. I've never had one, but they're behind glass (glass=good) and a lot of humans were really into them. One nice lady asked if she could feed me one, said I looked hungry. Of course my dumb human said no. Anyone here ever have a donut? I don't even know what food group they're in.

So, that's it for today. Tomorrow I'll show you the #1 best thing in the whole entire supermarket. And some other stuff. Like carrots.

* * *

TODAY MIGHT BE A SPECIAL DAY!
A little puggy named Chloe is supposed to be born today. Not sure if she made it out of her momma's belly yet, but Chloe - if you're here - welcome to the world!

HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

I know my friend Bellatrix's mom will say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. And maybe it is... if you're Bellatrix's mom. But if you're me, the happiest place on earth is full of food. And not just dog food - I mean every food.

Yup. Our superspecial Daily-Puglet-turns-two celebration/adventure-in-a-bag was a trip to a a HUMAN FOOD store. AKA supermarket.

If you don't like food, you might as well go on vacation and come back in a few days. Seriously. But before I tell you all about the ridiculous stuff I saw, my human says I have to say this:

It is not cool to take your dog into a supermarket.

There. I said it. And I don't want to ruin the moment or anything by saying that my human is full of... SPAM... but, for the record, I was not the only dog in the supermarket that day. There were others. And they weren't stuck in bags. But I'll get to that later.

Anyway...

The first stop on our trip: meat.

I had no freaking idea how much humans like meat! This place was full of it. Whole entire giant walls. Full. Of. Meat. Glass boxes. Full. Of. Meat (I think it was special meat). Rows and rows of meat, meat, meat. Chicken meat and cow meat and pig meat and freaking buffalo meat.

Buffalo?

Yeah. Buffalo.

I didn't think it could get any better than hotdogs, bacon, or SPAM. But after seeing and smelling the meats of the world, I can tell you this: it gets better. Waaaay better.

More from the Happiest Place tomorrow...

* * *

TODAY'S A SPECIAL DAY!!
It's Ellie's (of the in/famous San Antonio Pugs) birthday!!
Let's all eat some cookies (OR meat!) to celebrate :)

HOLY SPAM!!

Yesterday was paws-down one of THE best, most exciting days of my whole entire life. I mean, like Top 5 best days ever. Maybe even Top 3.

You have no freaking idea.

But you will. Tomorrow. And the next day. And probably the day after that too. But my human says I have to fill you in on the Special Days calendar first. You won't believe how full it is!

Ok. So, on Saturday we had a calendar-making party over at my friends Lily + Harry's house. Lily is kinda tough and cool like me. Dutch and Harry are a lot alike. They are both... "sensitive". I probably don't have to tell you who's who in the picture.

My human made bad pictures with Droid and the other moms made snacks (for the humans!?!). Then everyone helped fill our calendar with Special Days so my human's head wouldn't explode. Huge thanks Cyndi + Lisa!!

Pleeeeease?

While me and the humans were busy working, Dutch explored in the kitchen. He found a, quote, "plate of yummy yellow goodness" on the counter. Nice, huh?

Sometimes it really sucks to be a shrimpy little pug -- like when you're too short to reach yummy goodness on counters. But sometimes it's good be a shrimp -- like when a human finds teeth marks in the yummy yellow goodness on the counter. And gets mad.

Anyway. It was really cool to find out where everyone is from and I can't wait to celebrate everyone's Special Day. By the looks of our new special calendar, there will be A LOT of cookie eating - uh, I mean celebrating - this month!

PS: If you haven't told us your Special Day yet -- check out this post from last week. And please please please add your day to that day's page so my human can keep track of them without exploding her brain.

VIDEO FRIDAY: Sleeeeeepy

Me and Dutch got to spend the whole entire day at House of Meat yesterday. Don't tell my human, but Dutch stole a loaf of bread off the table. He ran out the dog door before anyone noticed and we ate it in the backyard. The Crazy Labrador Brothers found a giant cardboard box in the garage and we tore it into a million pieces. We were having so much fun, the people who live nextdoor told us to shut up. Twice.

Good times!

I love my human and everything, but the HoM is so much fun, I didn't want to leave. When The Man called my name and said it was time to go home, I tried to blend in with the rug. When that didn't work, I tried to hide under the table. When hiding didn't work, I put my ears back, made my tail go flat and tried to look as sad as possible.

But that didn't work either.

I was soooo tired by the time we got back to Casa de Puglet (AKA the House of Carrots), I could barely keep my eyes open. My human wanted to do the whole Freeze Frame Friday thing for today, but there was just no way.

So, she took this video instead. Of me trying to stay awake.

*turn up your volume for puggy surround-sound*

Sorry it's not very good. But I mean, I was falling asleep. Besides, my human took it with the dumb Droid. Y'know, the one that can't even get my name right and doesn't know the difference between bacon and sex?

Yeah. That one.

DO DROIDS SPEAK PUG?

I'm superhappy to have my human's thumbs again (especially since they can make things like cookies, cookie books and Special Day calendars). But you know I'm a huge fan of Plan B, so I was really excited yesterday when I found out my human's phone can turn things you say into typed words.

NO thumbs necessary.

My human loves her Droid phone and says it can do tons of cool things - but speaking Pug probably isn't one of them. She liked the idea of me not depending on her thumbs though, so she let me try it out.

Uhm. Yeah.

Here's how it went:

I said: Hello my name is Puglet.
Droid wrote: Hello my name is eclipse.

Ok, the thing can't even get my name right. Not a good sign.

Me: I like to eat poop. And rocks.
Droid: I like to eat boots and tacos.

Uh, boots and tacos? Hellllo! Who likes to eat boots? And what the heck is a taco?

Me: I love bacon.
Droid: I love sex.

Dumb Droid. Sex? I've never haaad sex - who knows if I even like it. I said baaaaacon!

Me: I can swallow a whole entire hot dog without chewing.
Droid: I can follow a whole entire hot dog without feeling.

Uhm, if I had to follow a hot dog I would totally be feeling. Feeling hungry!

So... it looks like I do need my human's thumbs after all. Or maybe she needs to get over her Steve Jobs issue and get one of those iPhone things instead. Because of everything I said, her dumb Droid only got one sentence 100% right:

Me: I can sing better than Britney Spears.
Droid: I can sing better than Britney Spears.

ANY CLUE?

My human is almost back to being human and she's promised to take me on a special adventure to celebrate. She's not 100% human enough to keep up with me on really big adventures, but she said we're going "to a place where most dogs never set paw".

And, uhm, that's all I know.

Except that it will happen this weekend. And there will be rules. Special rules.

Rule #1: I have to sit in a bag.
No idea. But I've been practicing. It's not all that much fun, but it's not hard or anything. And I get cookies for doing it.

Rule #2: I have to be quiet.
No biggie. I bark at animals on TV, when the mail comes, and at the garbage truck on Wednesday mornings - but other than that I'm mostly quiet.

Rule #3: I can't touch, lick, or eat anything.
I'm OK with not touching, but not eating or licking? Seriously? That could be tough. I mean, what if someone offers me a snack? Or wants a kiss?

I asked Dutch if he's ever had to follow these special rules, but he said no (and is also waaay too big to sit in a bag). I'm dying to know where we're going, but my human won't give me any more clues.

Have you ever had rules like this? Any clue where we might be going??

PS: If you haven't told us your Special Day (and have no idea what I'm talking about) read yesterday's post :)

SPECIAL DAYS

I'm so glad everyone liked the cookie (and other stuff) recipes. Huge thanks to everyone who sent one in. We're totally going to do a 2nd edition, so don't worry if you're not in this one. There will be another chance :)

Anyway.

I've learned a lot in the last 2 years from everyone here. The #1 thing (other than bacon) is that even though the Daily Puglet is mostly all about me, it's also about all of you. So when I read a comment from Sammy last week asking about our birthdays here at Casa de Puglet, I got the most genius idea ever.

Wouldn't it be kinda cool if everyone knew everyone's birthday - not just mine and Dutch's and my humans? I figure with 448 Daily Puglet followers, we could probably celebrate someone's birthday every single day. And you know what birthdays mean: birthday cookies! Cookies for all!

How cool would that be??

Now. I know sometimes when you get recycled, nobody tells your new people when you were born. So if you don't know your birthday, that's cool. Gotcha Days (the day your people got ya) are just like birthdays. Sometimes they're even better.

So. Today I want to know your name and your birth or gotcha day (+/- where you live). My human will put everybody's special day on a special calendar and when your day comes around, I'll wish you a happy one here on the DP. And we will all have a reason to eat cookies.

Uhm, y'know, in your honor.

PS:
Puglet, June 25 (San Francisco)
Dutch, Sept 3 (San Francisco) CORRECTION: Sept 17th!

PPS: HAPPY DAY to Gracie!!