This is kinda embarrassing, but I need some help with my, uh, love life.
So there's this girl pug. Her name is Jenny. I've never met her because she lives in some place called Oregon, but when I saw her video on the internet it was love at first sight. And every time I watch one of Jenny's videos, I fall in love all over again.
I made the stupid mistake of telling brother Dutch about my feelings for Jenny.
DUTCH: Dude. You haven't even sniffed butts. How can you love her? You might not even like her.
ME: I can just tell.
DUTCH: Whatever. Besides, she lives in Oregon. We live in California. Even if her butt smells OK, you'll never see each other.
ME: Love knows no boundaries.
Then I made the mistake of telling my human. She told me I shouldn't fall in love with strange pugs on the internet. When I asked why she just said that sometimes the internet lies and cute little Jenny the pug could be a St. Bernard named George for all I know.
That makes ZERO sense to me, so now I'm just.... confused.
I need to know the best way to let Jenny know how I feel. Google said if I do it the wrong way, she might think I'm a stalker or something and that's the last thing I want. Any ideas??