So I made a deal with my human about my heftiness: if I move more, she won't feed me less.
I mean, I really don't eat that much. Really. I get 1/2 cup of food for breakfast and 1/2 cup of food for dinner. Brother Dutch eats the same exact food and he gets FOUR WHOLE CUPS of it! At night, we both get a big carrot. Once a week I get a bull-penis or a Primal bone. I snack on rocks and dustbunnies when my human isn't looking, but don't tell her that.
How much less could a pug possibly eat???
Anyway. Dutch eats everything I do (except for the rocks and dustbunnies) but no one's calling him tubey. My human says it's because I have the [quote] metabolism of a tree sloth. I don't know what that means, but I don't want her to take away any of my food so I asked Google for help.
Google said what my human probably meant is that my body doesn't need much food to survive. Uhhhh, yes it does! But Google also said the more I move, the more food my body will need. And that's when I came up with a genius idea.
My human has this bouncy thing she used after she had foot surgery and wasn't allowed to go running. She said bouncing is kinda like running, only you don't go anywhere. I asked if bouncing counts as moving and she said yes. So now I bounce. On the bouncy I can move whenever I want, for as long as I want. I'm thinking if I bounce A LOT my human might even start feeding me more.
Hefty Hefty Hefty?
Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy!