THE STALKER

Brother Dutch thinks I'm overreacting about the strange dog smells on my human, so I asked my friend Google what I should do about it. Google said if you think your human is cheating, you can either ask them about it... or just follow them everywhere they go (technical term: stalking).

So yesterday I stalked my human. Every time she tried to leave the house I'd give her the look so she'd feel bad and take me with her. We went to the bank. The post office. A store with cameras. There weren't any dogs at any of those places. It was all pretty bor-ing.

I was about to give up on the stalking when my human grabbed her keys and said she'd see us in a few hours. A few hours? Hmmm. Sounded kinda suspicious. But when I made a move for the door, she said I had to stay home. I begged and begged and gave her the look until she finally caved.

Well. We ended up at a place called Blo Salon. There weren't any dogs there either, but I did meet a nice lady named Courtney. Courtney spent a looooong time doing weird things to my human's hair; when she was done, everyone said it looked really pretty. So I asked Courtney if she could do something with my fur. Y'know, to make me look cuter.

No problem. Hop up in the chair, she said.

I don't exactly know what Courtney did to us. But on the walk home, two strange men told my human her hair was really pretty and even more people than usual told me I was very cute. Go Courtney!

REEEALLY EARLY

Two very loud humans woke me up early this morning. They were on the sidewalk in front of our house and one of them was talking about her vacation to some place called New York. There was rain. There was a marathon. She took pictures (even though it was raining) and the food was expensive but not that great.

Did I say it was really early? Like, still dark out early?? Well, it was. And these people were LOUD. So I barked at them to keep it down. And brother Dutch barked because I barked. And all our barking woke up my human, who barked at both of us for barking.

Then we were all awake.

We normally don't get out of bed when it's still dark out, but since we were all awake my human thought it'd be cool to head to the beach. Go to the beach in the dark?? I asked. We can watch the sun come up, she said.

Uhm, OK.

I've seen the sun go down lots of times, but don't think I'd ever seen it come up before. If you've never seen a sunrise, I'm not sure it's worth getting out of bed in the dark just to see one. If you ask me, a sunrise looks a lot like a sunset except the sun is in a different place. Oh, and you don't have to wake up crazy early to see a sunset.

NEW PUG IN THE HOUSE?

I haven't confronted my human about the strange dog smells yet. But I am working on ways to keep myself busy when she's off doing godknowswhat with godknows who.

OK, I love brother Dutch. I do. But sometimes he is just so.... boring. He doesn't like to play as much as I do. And he definitely doesn't play like a pug. Sometimes I really wish there was another pug in our house.

Well, yesterday my wish came true. Sort of. There's this new thing in my human's bedroom and it's got a pug living inside it. I don't think it's a real pug, more like one you'd see on TV. But the pug likes to play, so I don't really care if he's real or not.

I haven't seen any other TV animals show up on the new thing yet (except for a a dalmatian that looks a lot like Dutch). No bears or sharks or anything. But I guess that's OK because I'm sure that would totally freak Dutch out. And I want to play with another pug, not a bear or a shark.

MY HUMAN, THE HUSSY

I think my human is cheating on me.

For the past few months I've caught the scents of other dogs lingering on her clothes. And I don't mean other dogs we know - like The Crazy Labrador Brothers or our spotted friends Boka & Miley. No. These are the smells of stranger dogs.

Yesterday she forgot to hang her new leather coat in the closet so I had a chance to do some serious sniffing around. Leather holds scents much better than the stuff shirts and pants are made of and I got a really good whiff of who she's been hanging out with:

Labrador, male, approx 14 yrs old
Pug (!), male, not me, less than a year old
Bulldog, female, 2 years old
Great Dane, male, 5 years old
Unidentified puppy, female

Can you believe that?? My human is a complete hussy! I also found traces of fur and slobber and Cheeto crumbs that did NOT come from my mouth. I told brother Dutch my suspicions, but he didn't think it was such a big deal. We see her pet other dogs at the park all the time, he said.

Wearing her new leather coat?? I don't think so. She doesn't wear that kinda thing when we go to the park. At least not when she goes to the park with us. I don't care what Dutch says, something is going on.

I just don't know what.

NUGGETS

When I first started doing this blog thing, I kinda thought I'd just tell the world what's on my mind, share some cuteness, and that'd be it. I never knew I'd make so many friends. Or learn so many things from them.

Like the Gotcha Day thing. And Popeye's.

Thanks to my blog connections, when my human asked how I wanted to celebrate my Gotcha Day, I knew the answer right away: I want to eat some Popeye's fried chicken. Just like Stubby in Illinois does, I told her.

I don't think we have Popeye's here in California, she said.

We MUST, I insisted.

So we went on a Popeye's hunt and we found one. That was the first hurdle. The second came in the drive-thru when my human tried to place our order. She doesn't eat fried chicken (freak!) so she didn't want to get a whole bucket of it just for me and brother Dutch (booo!). So she asked the Popeye's person if there was a way to just get two pieces. Which caused a whole bunch of confusion.

Did we want a leg? Thigh? Wing? Breast? Yes. Yes. Yes. YES!

Which part has the fewest bones? my human asked. The Popeye's person wasn't really sure. Uh, I guess maybe the Nuggets? she said.

So we got Nuggets. I don't know what part of a chicken a Nugget comes from, but there were six of them. They were crispy outside, chicken-y inside, and super-yummmmy all over.

I was good and shared my Nuggets with Dutch. Even though it was my Gotcha Day. I really wanted to eat all six of them, but getting three and sharing the rest was OK.

I was kinda sad to see my last Nugget go, then Dutch reminded me that we haven't celebrated his Gotcha Day yet. He promised to ask for more Popeye's and says he'll share half of his Nuggets too.