Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH

Ever see that movie where the guy who jumped on Oprah's couch is pretending to be a lawyer and demands to know the truth - and that Jack Nicholson dude yells at him and says "You can't HANDLE the truth!".

Well, that's pretty much how the interrogation scene went. Minus all the yelling.


I demanded that my human tell me the truth/secret, and when she told me the truth/secret, I totally couldn't handle it. So yeah, I did a little sulking yesterday. But you would too if you knew what I knew. Which is this:

The truth/secret is that my human is, officially, going to be taking pictures of stranger dogs from now on. Like, for a job. She's going to give away my cookies and play with other dogs and come home smelling like... ugh. Just thinking about it makes me hurt inside.

I guess its been going on part-time behind my back for awhile now - but from now on, she'll be cheating on me full-time. And it's kinda all YOUR fault, Daily Puglet readers.

Y'see, it all started last year, a few months after we started The Daily Puglet. My human kept getting emails from people, saying how much they liked my pictures. At the same time, my human was getting frustrated because there were pictures of me she wanted to take, but couldn't because she didn't have a "real" camera anymore. And she didn't have a "real camera" anymore because her gimpy brain couldn't remember how to use one.

But I guess frustration is stronger than gimpiness, because last May my human bought a new "real camera". She spent a whole year re-learning how to use it, and
somewhere along the way, got the dumb idea to become a dog photographer. During the interrogation scene she admitted to taking more than 25,000 pictures of stranger dogs behind my back. What the ??

Anyway. The Seattle thing was the last piece of my human's evil plot. She went there to take a special dog photographer workshop. She learned all about business stuff - oh, yeah, and practiced taking pictures. Of pugs!!


Yeah. How totally uncool is that?

So there you have it. The secret. I'm sure you can understand why I'm not-so-happy about this news. And if you don't understand? Uh, go back and read the post where I confessed to being an "obnoxious camera hog".


37 comments:

Anonymous said...

Puglet this is great news! More work = more money for your human to spend on YOU! More money = more snacks = happy Puglet. You'll get over the sharing of attention, you'll probably even get more Daily Puglet followers which is a good thing!

And Human (wish I knew your name) - congratulations on the new gig, you will rock it for sure! Who new that a blog would lead to a career path for you - very exciting!

Shannon (and Molly) from PA

Anonymous said...

Oh Puglet! I feel for you. But you gotta remember at the end of the day who does your human come home to?? Oh that's right honey - it's you. You have your human so puggified she can't get enough of em so she takes pictures - but she always comes home to you. Just make her shower before she snuggles. Megan and the pug herd - from Iowa

THE PUGLET said...

OH, you are all so nice. And understanding. And... reasonable. The part about more cookies sounds good... but I'm kinda skeptical.

Erin @ Slipcover Your Life said...

WOW, my mind is completely blown! Can you cheat on puglet and take dachshund photos?

Anonymous said...

Hi Puglet...You look sad, don't be..What can be better than taking oodles of pictures of PUGS!!! Tell you human if she wants to take lots of pug pics, in September my human is taking me to Pug Nationals in Ohio to compete in Agility. Last year in North Carolina there were close to 1000 pugs and Puglet they had vendors there selling the best-est cookies you could ever imagine. Pugs + Cookies = Pug in Heaven. Emmitt from San Antonio

Anonymous said...

It's all because of you Puglet, that you have made your human so successful (that, and her camera skills). So you should be proud of yourself for such a huge feat--how many others pugs do you know that can say they have helped their human gain a new career?

Eh, eh? Come on, you are superpug and you know it! You have special powers, remember? And last but not least, you are the apple of her eye!

This is great news for all!

Georzetta said...

Good luck! Annie Pug and I would come to you if you lived here. I think you will be a great success.

Odey said...

I just watched that movie last night!! Puglet. Very intense scene. I can only imagine how frightening it must have been. Unbearable, horrifying, and very tragic. Did you get all dramatic and throw your body across your bed and sob like they do in the movies? Did you let a tear fall from your eye so your human felt painfully guilty? Oh the horror!

But on the bright side, you can probably get more cookies out of this. Just milk the guilt thing for a while : )

Noodle said...

A-ha!! It all makes sense now! Good job getting it outta her! Based on your reaction, I can see why your human kept it a secret from you. No need to be such a diva, Puglet! None of those stranger dogs have videos, a flat self, and so many followers!! You're the celebrity! It's always gonna be about you.

Hang in there, buddy!

Anonymous said...

Puglet...you have shown her the way, and its only because of your extemely good looks and talent she has made it. Its because of you that she learned this, and she takes wonderful pictures of you...yes, you are extremely photographic, but her talent brings that out even more. Maybe you could go along on some of the gigs? And better yet, you never know, maybe she will get to photograph Jenny! Any way, more cookies for you!

Pearl and Tessa

Sequoia & Petunia said...

Wows Puglet too bad she comes home smelling funnys. You knows as long as she doesn't bring home any other dogs you should be fine. Plus is she gets moneys she can replace your treats she is giving away, maybe with better ones too!

Many hugs,
S&P

Anonymous said...

Now that you know, you can stop stressing.... stress makes pugs retain weight and more weight = less cookies, so less stress = less weight = MORE COOKIES!!!!

Wilma said...

Hey Puglet,
Wow, the truth is finally out. Now, I could be all reasonable and tell you a bunch of things to make you feel better, but I'm not going to. Why? Because I get it. My Mom is mine and if she was going out and paying attention to a bunch of other pugs on my time, I would be totally p.o'd. So go ahead Puglet, indulge yourself in some good old fashioned self pity. You will get over it eventually, but you know what? Those humans secretly like it when we get all jealous and possessive. It makes them feel special and irreplaceable, and loved. As long as we all still get our daily dose of Puglet, everything will be ok. If not, then we have a problem, and I will personally fly out there and help you rectify the situation.

Wilma said...

Oh, I forgot to tell your Human that my Mom says congratulations. What a great thing to be able to make a living doing what you love and do so well.

Anonymous said...

Finally the big secret is out - oh Puglet - you should be so PROUD of your human, she has a great talent that she can share w/all of the dogs (& their humans) in the world and make $$$ to spend on you and Dutch. It's wonderful news!!!

Ann & Frodo

agent99 said...

We agree Puglet, you Mom is going to be brining home more cookies for YOU, beacuse of YOU. (Make sure to get your cut!)
Yes, we know it feels like cheating......but just because mom found a job that's FUN doesn't mean she not working really hard to take care of you....and that other guy, Dutch.
We are really happy for you mom!

Love
Gen & Lefty

Those Elgin Pugs said...

Puglet~

We are very happy to find out the surprise and big congratulations to your hooman~

she takes wonderful pho-toes :D

loves,
Izzy, Josie and Anakin Man

Clandestine Cats said...

Puglet Dude, the cure for all sulking is what you saw on Oprah. Jump up and down on the couch ad infinitum, or is that ad nauseum? If you do exciting recreation or even regurgitation it would make for great Freeze Frames.

Ollie said...

Your human is super talented. I thought she was a photographer of some kind last year. Your average human just doesn't take the kind of amazing pictures you've posted here every day (you should see the crappy photos my human takes).
Everyone in your pack is an artist, including your human and I wish you all much success! Lots of work for your human means lots of really good stuff for you and Dutch. Keep your eye on the prize, Puglet. You need to be supportive.

3pugs2luv said...

It's ok Pug. We understand your heartbreak & frustration...our human decided to return to school in pursuit of a new career. It takes a lot of her time away from us. At first it was the worst thing ever, Phoebe went as far as taking her favorite toy & ran away(just to the next door neighbor but our human got the point. Then, we got used to her absence & realized that it wasn't so bad. Plus we give her a big guilt trip & then she spoils us. You see there are benefits to the situation.
We pugs love our humans so much it's hard for us to share them with the rest of the world. But part of loving them is supporting them too. Our human says, that it is not often that a human can do what they love all the time & get paid for it. This will make her happy which = more cookies which = a happy Puglet.
So, you can support your humans exciting new career or plan B: get so famous as a supermodel, that you make all kinds of money & you can then hire your human full time.
You'll be fine. Have a little pity party then you'll feel better. If not we're here for you & so are the rest of the Puglet fans.
Luv, Zoey & Phoebe

Anonymous said...

Yo Pug, My mom's a shrink (I think?) Maybe she can donate some couch time to you. She keeps some tasty cookies around the office and she's pretty good at helping sad pugs find the silver lining.....Jax the PA pug

MICHIGAN PUGGY said...

DEAR PUGLET,

MY HUMAN SAW MY LETTER FROM THE OTHER DAY AND NOW I HAVE TO WRITE VERY NICE LETTERS...BUT...MR. VOLCANO, YOU SO HOT...LIKE LAVA...YOUR HUMAN KNOWS WHO LOVES HER AND THAT IS YOU...I BELIEVE YOU ARE NUMBER ONE TO HER...JUST THINK..SHE..SHARES YOU...WITH US...SO YOU WILL JUST BE SHARING PICTURES...NO BIG DEAL. MY HUMAN THINKS IM NUMBER ONE AND MY HUMAN IS TOPS..A KEEPER...THERES NO PLACE LIKE HOME AND YOUR OWN HUMAN...I SAY THIS WILL ALL BLOW OVER AND IT WONT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE...I JUST HOPE YOUR HUMAN WILL STILL LET US GIRL PUGS HAVE A PICTURE NOW AND THEN....*SIGH* :) MICHIGAN PUGGY

THE PUGLET said...

So from what you're all saying, it sounds like this might not be the worst thing that could happen to a pug. Yes, I'll have to share my human - and more importantly, my cookies - but this sharing could lead to even MORE cookies.
Is that really possible??

I do know that shooting dogs makes my human really happy. And I guess the pictures she takes make other people happy too and I'm all for people being happy.

It's just... I dunno. I guess the whole thing's going to take some getting used to. Dutch says I should let Jax the PA pug's human shrink me. But I don't know what good that will do. I'm already too small :(

THE PUGLET said...

Hmmm. I'm really hot like lava? Cool!

Anonymous said...

Shrinking is when someone listens to your problems and makes you feel better, Puglet. But you've got us! The Daily Puglet readers! It's going to take some time, but in the end a happy human=a happy puglet And at least we all know she's not a serial doggy killer. That's something to be relieved about in itself.

Here's to more cookies for you! And hey-at least she's not adopting all these pugs!

Mel said...

I can totally understand how you feel Puglet, having to put up with all those different smells on your human when she comes home can't be fun for you. It sounds like something she enjoys though, so I'm thinking that you'll enjoy having her happier in the end. :)

Suki said...

Hi Pug,
It will take sometime for you to get use to the whole thing. I will share a secret with you, this is the perfect opportunity to "Milk-it-for-all-its-worth".

Your Human makes a lot of other Humans laugh and smile with her photos, just as you do for her each day. You are number one in her heart.

Oh and yes, you are hot like lava!
Keep your chin up.
Woofs -
Suki

Maggie Pug Girl said...

Oh my!!! Time to negotiate....we pugs need lots of love and attention. My human is a shrink too, works with humans and I get to see them sometimes so they can hug and kiss me too. Hmmm, all those cute pics! Gotta be lots of free hoomans around to hug/kiss you!!!

THE PUGLET said...

More cookies, more hugs, milking it for all it's worth? Ok, I'm starting to like the sound of this a *little* better.

I still wish it didn't involve stranger dogs though. I mean, my friends are one thing, but strangers??

Bellatrix- I'm a pug! said...

Wow Puglet that is sooooo freaking cool! Your mom takes awesome pics, she's even taken some of me and she somehow knows how to capture my best features (my orbs). She'll always love taking pictures of you and Brother Dutch the most, but it's so fantastical that she gets to share her talents with all of dogdom.
Your mommy is super cool Puglet! Ms. Amanda, congrats from me and my mommy. Next time I see you, I'm so gonna give you extra kisses!!

Anonymous said...

I know, I know, the idea of strangers is hard to get used to. This is what it's like to "grow up". What does Dutch think of all this? Does he think you're being overly dramatic, or is he with you on this one.

THE PUGLET said...

Ooooh, extra kisses from Bellatrix. Sorry Spencer B, but that's not-quite-but-almost as good as more cookies.

THE PUGLET said...

Uhm, Dutch hates having his picture taking so the thinks this is the best news ever :)

SpencerBartholomew said...

Puglet... I am so happy for your human and I think you are going to get to like it too! Your human is a fabulous photographer and I know she will be successful. Hang in there, you did a great job investigating and I know she will make it up to you just like everyone has commented. CONGRATULATIONS to your family... it's about time!

Edward the Pug said...

WOW! :) I see that you are turning your opinion around on this little shenanigans huh Puglet? I would be major bummed if my human left me during the day to go spend it with other dogs, but I understand that it, ultimately, could lead to more cookies and cow time with Dutch! :)

Maybe you can convince your human that you should be her extremely talented, non-rock-eating, walking camera bag on shoots. And maybe that will lead to DOUBLE treats for being helpful AND cute! :) Ask her...every good photographer needs an extra special assistant right?

eh?

Anonymous said...

Well, we're glad the big news is out at last. This is great news for you and Dutch, for each of you in your own way: you, more cookies, Dutch, no camera, and human, happy! Puglet, don't look now, but I think we're shrinking you : )

THE PUGLET said...

Hmmm. I like the assistant idea. But given my past history of attacking the camera/other dogs when they come near the human's camera, I'm not sure my human would let me do much assisting.

This being shrunk thing isn't so bad though... and I think it's working.