Hey everybody, sorry for not being around yesterday but thanks for being nice to Dutch while I was gone. Not sure if he told you, but I've been super busy trying to get this 1000 pugs situation under control. I'm afraid the whole thing is worse than I thought. Like, way worse.
I don't know exactly what I'm dealing with (yet) but I heard my human say something about +300 people signing up for the mailing list thing on the first day. Yeah. 300. One day. Not good.
I really liked Mookie's idea of drugging my human so I can spend more time searching HAL4 for clues and maybe accidentally deleting anything with the word pug in it. So I asked Google about it and found out that drugging someone can be kinda hard to do. And possibly really scary.
I guess drugs aren't easy to get and if you do it wrong, the person might never wake up. I don't want my human to do the Big Sleep, I just want her gone for a little while. Y'know, long enough for me to snoop and delete without getting caught.
So I asked Google if there's a way to make a humans sleep that doesn't involve 1) drugs or 2) accidental forever-sleeping. Google said I should try turkey or an overdose of sugar. My human's not a big turkey-eater so that won't really work. She's not a huge sugar-eater either, so I was really getting frustrated... until I remembered an incident that happened this time last year involving a cereal box. A sugared cereal box.
Here's the deal. Every Halloween, these monster cereals come out and my non-sugary human tries to eat them because that's what she did when she was like 5 years old or something. Totally weird, but it must be a human thing because Bellatrix's dad does it too (except he likes the chocolate dracula and my human likes the berry monsters).
Anyway. I remembered that last year my human went into some sort of sugar coma sleep on the couch after she ate a bowl of the monster cereal. So I sneakily asked Bellatrix if maybe her mom could buy some monster cereal for everyone. Her mom loves holidays and shopping and stuff, so I knew she'd totally be into it.
Well, my plan totally worked. Franken Berry is in the house. Now I just need to get my human to eat a great big bowl of it.