'Polaroid Jimmy' by Jeff Ballinger
I'm kinda starting to think I need a new human. Because I'm starting to wonder if mine loves me anymore. We haven't hiked with the cows or done anything fun in I don't know how long, she barely ever lets me play with Nikon, and she missed TWO entire days of Daily Puglet in the last week. That only ever happens is when she's sick and she is totally not sick.
She didn't even do the thing where she puts film into some old camera and takes 36 special pictures on the last day of the year. At least one of the special pictures is of me and pictures mean cookies. But no. Instead, I had to hey-mister some photographer dude with a really old special camera that spit out pictures. He didn't give me any cookies, but at least *he* loved me enough to take my picture.
If I had two or even three humans, it wouldn't be so bad. But I only have one. I guess I have Dutch, but Dutch isn't really the same as a human. He'd never take my picture and tell me I'm perfect or give me cookies and rub my belly. Only a human can do that kind of stuff.
Has this ever happened to anyone? Y'know, where your human stops loving you? I don't really want a new human - but is there anything I can do to get mine back? I'm kinda sad and really miss her.