Tuesday, July 24, 2012

ONE LITTLE POUND


I was reeeeallly excited about maybe getting to eat bacon again, so I told my human we need to visit the scale ASAP. She's into some new weird thing where we only drive Mazda on weekends and Wednesdays (no clue) and since yesterday was a Monday and our regular official scale is too far away to walk to, she said ASAP wouldn't be for a few days. 

Days???

I was pretty sure any scale would say I'm skinny, so I suggested we walk my skinniness over to the one at Pet Food Express. It's not far from our house and I figured I could get every last drop of pee out on the walk over. Besides, they also keep a bowl of cookies on the counter and the counter people totally love me.

My human liked this idea so we walked and I peed and the stupid scale at PFE still got it freaking wrong! Even completely naked & peeless, the dumb scale still said I supposedly weigh 26lbs.



I mean, does this look like a 26lb waist to you??


No. It doesn't. Because last time I got on a scale and weighed 26lbs I had NO waist at all. How can I be shaped different and still weigh the same?? I mean, unless Augustus was right and my new waistiness is really just a dent from Frank's nonstop humping, I must weigh less than before. Right?

Right.

So I told my human the scale at PFE must be broken. She suggested we weigh Dutch to test it out because he never gets fat. I was kinda worried when he stepped on the scale and weighed 67 not-fat lbs... until the scale changed its mind to 68.4... and then 69.8! According the the scale, skinny-necked Dutch got 2.8lbs fatter in like two minutes.


When one little pound is all that stands between you and a Baconator, the scale you're standing on better know what it's doing. The stupid scale at PFE obviously doesn't have a clue and cannot be trusted. My human couldn't really argue with me on that.

On Wednesday, we re-weigh.

29 comments:

Sammy and Neko said...

Shhhhsh. Come see us, I bet our mama will give you whatever you want :) Fat or not. By the way Why doesn't she - your human drive Mazda on other days??? Is she hiding some top secret?? We wonder.....

Taryn said...

Puglet, having a slim, svelte figure is way better than a Baconater! A lot healthier, too!

stellaroselong said...

My mom laughed so hard when she read this post...she says she can identify with you and the scale changing in two minutes..she used (?) to go to WW and if she got on the scale and off and on again she would gain a lb. or two...scales are the enemy is what poor mom says! You do look really slim...Sam is built like you...he weighs 22 lbs. but is skinny in the middle and has long legs.. I weigh 15lbs. and trudie 13 lbs. I told mom you said we could eat a baconater. She said no.

The Slimmer Pugs, Kitties, and Mama said...

Puglet,
Seriously dude! You are skin and bones to us'uns...of course we get crate fed know and are on rations. ARGH! Anywho...maybe it is muscle from all your exercise for the 1000 Pugs!! Your sweatin' it all off.
And yes...scales suck!!
Much Luvums,
The Slimmer Puggums
George, Gracie, Toby, Lily, and Mimi
our new bloggy:
http://pugsandpurrs.blogspot.com

Those Jersey Shore Puggles said...

Right before getting weighed again, maybe take a poo-dump....that ought to lighten you up some more.

Roxi, Riley & Lea

Bellatrix- I'm a pug! said...

Since I love munching on your back fat, I must say the new lean Pug is a bit...well disappointing. However, my mom says it's not good for us pugs to be chunky. I've NEVER had bacon so I think we should hunt down that bacon truck and get us some Pug, scales be damned!!!!
I hope your moms leaky nose is feeling better.

Noodles said...

You know, Puglet, that MUSCLE weighs more than fat!
Just saying.
The fact is you DO have an awesomely trim WAIST and so something has changed.
BTW, if it IS MUSCLE weight then you HAVE TO have more treats to maintain the muscle. I read that somewhere.
Love Noodles

Anonymous said...

Puglet,
Your human obviously figured out the stupid scale was wrong... we want to know if you got any of those cookies from the counter cookie jar? Our next question why does your human only drive on certain days...inquiring minds really need to know.

Ellie, Emmitt and Eli svelt pugs in SA, TX doing agility keeps us that way.

Augustus said...

I *told* you! I have a waist too, and my terrier sister humps me all the time. But any pug with a waist or hump dents ought to have some treats. Okay, let's be real, every pug deserves treats.

You know what's getting me down? My people keep telling me that my snout needs soothing, then they rub this stuff on it. Like every. single. day. Something about Nikon and a beach. That part sounds good, not sure I've ever been to a beach.

Maggie the Pug in Dallas said...

LOL...after that great story...the ending says it all..."Wed we re-weigh". I like your thinking Pug cuz no way is that scale right!

Anonymous said...

Darling Puglet,

REMEMBER scales lie. You have a handsome waist and almost look like Tarzan. But I think he ate mostly vegetables and maybe a cheeta (or it could have been cheetos!).

Love, Daisy

THE PUGLET said...

Hey S+N ~

I wish the Mazda thing had top-secret potential because that could maybe = food. I think it has something to do with her brain imploding though. When that happens the less she has to think about or do, the better. Even if it's just stupid stuff like driving Mazda.

Like I said... no clue.

THE PUGLET said...

My human says Taryn is totally right about svelte being healthy... but seriously, who here would rather be skinny than eat bacon??

THE PUGLET said...

Sorry to hear it Stella. Tell your human any pug who weighs 15 lbs needs a Baconator. It's like, the law.

THE PUGLET said...

Heya Slimmers ~

My human used to have a special cup thingy for measuring my food, but I think she lost it in Portland or something. So now she just puts enough food in my bowl to "almost cover" the bottom. I'm pretty sure when she used the cup-thingy my food *completely* covered the bottom and that's why I am now starving.

THE PUGLET said...

Hi JPSs~

I tried! But there was only pee :(

THE PUGLET said...

Bella ~

You've never had bacon? Seriously? You have a Man in your house and everything... still no bacon??

THE PUGLET said...

This is why I love you guys!

Muscle = need more treats
Rock hard abs = need more treats

Anything else = need more treats??

THE PUGLET said...

Hiya 3Es~

I got two counter cookies, but they were small. My human also bought me & Dutch some sort of puffed pig part for later... except she forgot all about them by the time we got home so who knows where they are now or if we'll ever get to eat them. Arrgh.

The Mazda thing helps her brain relax. No idea why or how, but maybe if her brain relaxes she'll remember where she put my freaking pig puff.

THE PUGLET said...

Ooooh, Augustus ~

I think the snout thing is my human's fault. She did that to me the other day too and I didn't like it either. Especially since she couldn't find the usual goop and used this extrasupernasty stuff called Blistex instead. Run if you see the word BLISTEX!

PS: the beach is awesome ;)

Noodle said...

Gotta go with Noodles on this one. Muscle does weigh more than fat, and with increased muscle, comes increased metabolism. All that means is MORE TREATS!! Yay!

Have your human look it up....

Paula from DE said...

Usually when you are super active you lose fat weight but gain muscle weight. You still lost inches on your waistline. Maybe you are just extra muscular from all that humping action ( trying to avoid the hump) so muscle weight shouldn't count!
Baconator here you come!!

Oakley and Swisher said...

Well thank Dog for stupid broken scales. This means, you're probably totally right, and should get some sort of delicious goodness in the near future. Till Weds!

Lots of licks,
Swisher and Oakley

Southern Fried Pugs said...

Muscle weighs more than fat! You are getting muscular, that's why you have the waist! It's just a number after all. We are 17 pounds of muscle, but we look like we weigh about 13 pounds. To keep that waist though, eat a slice of bacon, not the whole baconator.

AND when is the last time that scale has been calibrated?

Meredith LeBlanc said...

We think you deserve a Baconator, in fact, you should be in the ads for it! Isn't bacon a food group? The man in our house says it is.

XOXOXO
Scarlet & Meredith

DSM said...

::sigh:: Puglet, I'm right there with you. My humans took me to the vet yesterday and they said I'd gained 1.2 pounds since the last visit. Which means that my abuella has been sneaking me food again. Which my humans kinda knew, but now they're angry about it and I'm banned from any human food until I lose all the weight. Which... ::sigh:: there is cheeeeeeeessssseeeeeeee at home! How can I lose weight when there is cheese to be eaten???

Also, my mom totally understands about Mazda. She does that too.

Laura said...

Puglet, be sure she weighs you without clothes, collar, leash, whatever. You want to be as naked as possible!

Pearl and Tessa said...

Augustus....your human can order you some Pug Butter on the internet, makes our noses smooth and soft...barnacles gone!

Pug, you are looking pretty buff...love the six pack abs.

Augustus said...

Thanks Pearl and Tessa! She uses Snout Soother, my nose is just a little extra sensitive because I had surgery to help me breathe better. I don't like when anyone touches my face, my eyes used to hurt a lot and I had to have drops. I try to be good about it, but I just can't help ducking. My nose does feel smoother, maybe after my date with Nikon I can have a break from the soothing.