So we went. And I got naked. And when I stepped on the scale it said this:
Scales = bad news!
There is some maybe-good though. I kinda hurt my foot jumping out of the car and am a little gimpy now. Am thinking maybe if I act extrasuperpathetic, my human might give me SOMETHING with a little bacon on it to make me feel better. Maybe not a Baconator. Maybe not even a Son of Baconator. But some sort of bacon. Because I'm pretty sure bacon makes anything better. Even a gimpy foot.
(this is where you all say riiiiiiiight)