Thursday, July 26, 2012

SYMPATHY BACON!

I bounce for bacon.
I'm pretty sure I'm never going to weigh 25lbs (or less) ever again. But my right front leg/foot is still gimpy, so I'm working on a new strategy. Sympathy Bacon!

Here's how it works:

Step One: pathetic = bacon
Gimp around and look pathetic. Extrapathetic when my human is watching - especially if we are in or near the kitchen. Y'know, just in case there's some bacon in there I don't know about.

Step Two: effort = bacon
Make it seem like I'm trying reeeeeally hard to be skinny. Chew, don't inhale. Leave a few crumbs in the bowl. Or maybe just one crumb.

Step Three: bouncing = bacon
Exercise more, or at least pretend to. I'm not allowed to run around or even walk much - but I can still hop around on the stupid bouncing thing my human uses to wake up her brain. It's not hard, but I don't think she knows that.

My human was pretty impressed with the bouncing, but I don't think she noticed the ginormous breakfast crumb I left in my bowl. Looking pathetic got me out of walking to the park this morning, but I still haven't gotten any bacon.

If Pathetic + Effort + Bouncing doesn't = Bacon, what does???


19 comments:

Noodles said...

Puglet! Bouncing certainly should equal bacon.
I am at a loss. Call Frank. I am sure he gets lots of bacon.
Love Noodles

Kolchak Puggle said...

The only thing that ever equals bacon at Casa de Kolchak is distraction + thieving and even then? It's usually a huge let down because it's that imposter known as "turkey bacon" humpf!

Maggie the Pug in Dallas said...

Dang Pug...you have all the right ideas just not sure why they aren't working. I told you in yesterday's post that I've pulled this "fake limp" off for awhile now and not that I get bacon everytime but I do get some cookies out of it every now and then. You are doing way more than me and not getting anything!

Meredith LeBlanc said...

If you can't get bacon with that photo of awesomeness, we don't think anything will. Word.

♥♥♥
Meredith & Scarlet

THE PUGLET said...

I bet if I had a human who actually ATE bacon, I'd have a better chance of getting it. We don't even have the imposter bacon here at Case de Puglet.

Turkey Bacon is better than no bacon at all!

THE PUGLET said...

Noodles --

I'm sure Frank totally gets bacon... but shhhhhh. Frank is a tube! If my human finds out that Frank + Bacon = Tubey there's no way I'll ever get any :/

THE PUGLET said...

Meredith & Scarlet,

Can I come be your pug? Maybe my human is the problem.

THE PUGLET said...

Hiya Maggie ~

Was it a front or back limp? Mine is in the front... maybe only back leg limps get sympathy food??

Bellatrix- I'm a pug! said...

Hmmmm....I think all that should equal bacon. But I have a bone to pick with you. Mom saw you on the scale and made dad take me to get weighed in....something about keeping my waist small. The good news is that I lost weight...and I need to celebrate by eating some bacon. Maybe that's the excuse you can use to get some bacon?
I hope your foot gets better soon! You have to be in top shape to run away from me!

Bruno + Diesel said...

Awesome pic, Puglet!
I've been at a loss for days to explain your scale problems. When I was 26lbs I looked waay tubier than you. I'm 21lbs now & you still look smaller than me =/ I'm on a permanent diet; I get less kibble & I have to eat green beans so I won't notice there's less kibble. I can still tell; I'm a pug, I'm not stoopid =P
Hope your leg feels better soon!
Love always, B & D ♥♥♥

Augustus said...

Pssst, I'm going to make my human bring you real, live bacon tomorrow. Are you and your foot going to be able to come? If you aren't, I can't promise Thumbs won't forget it in some bag or pocket. Maybe cut out the limping business until after the photoshoots?

Also, if you'd like to hide in our car I *know* may whole family would love to have you here, and they eat bacon, hot dogs, corn dogs and my favorite....Romaine Lettuce! They share too, of course my meals are pretty small but it's worth it!

Sammy and Neko said...

We love today's picture a LOT ! Mama got bacon from local butcher, extra thick bacon that is... come by this weekend for bacon madness breakfast.

lovies

Anonymous said...

I still think you are one lucky pug! My momma makes me keep my waist so small she can see something poke out of my side when i pee. She calls it a rib but I have smelled those and no part of me smells like that! And forget bacon... I had to learn how to "jimmy" just to get something other than kibble. Even then usually its just green stuff.
Jealous,
Porter in Portland

Anne said...

Poor Puglet! I hope your foot feels better soon! I would have totally caved by now and given you ALL the bacon!

Eddie the Pug said...

My momma bought some bacon that is already cooked! If she makes a special BLT (once every six months or so) sandwich, Wally and I get a small sample:) Otherwise, not much bacon around Casa de Eddie!
You are looking great Puglet!

Jac from DE said...

Puglet, you are looking very svelte. Bring on the bacon!!!!

DSM said...

Dude, I feel you. I had teeth pulled at the vet yesterday. My human's didn't know it was happening and were very upset. I'm trying to milk it for all it's worth. So far, however, it's gotten me exactly NADA. Seriously, what's up with that?? I'm a hurting pug with no treats!!

I did hear a rumour that I might get to eat ice cream tonight, but I'm not buying it (until I've eaten it, anyway).

Good luck!

Hal said...

Hey Puglet! Hopefully you'll get some sympathy bacon soon! My mom doesn't eat bacon either so you know what I get for a treat.....apple. Yup, I get fruit for a treat. How's that for torture?? Not dog treats, not donuts, and certainly not bacon. Apples and bananas. Something about me having a bum liver....I don't know. Be happy that you sometimes get bacon!

Your friend in Seattle,

Hal

Anonymous said...

I absoulutely loooove that picture! That is soooooooo cute!!!!! ANd if I knew how to, I would send all the dogs that need treats bacon!