Thursday, March 20, 2014

NASTY SALTY PIG PART


Ok. So, we get to the place with the pig parts. Bacon-a-loni or whatever. And me and Dutch have to wait outside while my human fetches us some pig. She ties us up with a security dude and a lady with a million bikes to give away or something. No idea. I was too busy thinking about tasty salty pig parts to care.

Five minutes go by. No pig. Another five minutes. Ten minutes. Still no pig. Just when I'm starting to get really worried, my human finally shows up with a plate. Apparently miss gimpy brain couldn't find the million bikes she parked us next to.

But whatever. She came back with a plate. Full of pig! Or, uh... 

ME: what part of the pig is THAT?!?
HUMAN: it's salty and tasty, you'll love it.
ME: but it doesn't look anything like bacon.
HUMAN: maybe this is better than bacon.

Of course nothing is better than bacon. But when my human was splitting the mystery thing in half and said "ew, gross" I figured whatever was on that plate must be awesome. Right?

Wrong. So wrong.

nasty! nasty! nasty!

Yes it was salty. But definitely NOT tasty. At all. The thing was slimy and rubbery and snotty and so ridiculously gross, I couldn't get it out of my mouth fast enough. Dutch spit his half out too and kinda freaked out when it got stuck to the bottom of his foot.

The security dude and bike lady thought this was all very funny. So did my human, except I think she felt kinda bad too. She really thought I would love whatever nasty part of the pig was on that plate.


Take it from me, if anyone ever tells you something might be "better than bacon" - don't fall for it. Send the plate back and ask for the real stuff instead. And if you have any idea what nasty salty pig part that is, please let me know!

15 comments:

Noodles said...

Oh Puglet - EEEWWWWWWWWWW! I do not blame you for spitting THAT out!
Love Noodles

Anonymous said...

Our human loves oysters... she says it's better than bacon.
I tell ya....

Sammy and Neko

Michelle Adam said...

Puglet...
Looks to me like your human tried to feed you a raw Oyster. I like Oysters only if they are cooked and covered with cheese and bacon. I can not stand the look or feel, never mind taste of raw oysters. I am with you EWWWWWWW...
Yor Pal from RI

Anonymous said...

EUWWW Puglet, that looks really gross and disgusting! I am so glad you and Dutch didn't eat it!
love, Sherry and the Pug Squad

Anonymous said...

Puglet,
This is such a sad story! Are you sure your human didn't trick you? That looks like and oyster to me. Oysters are not pigs.

Meredith LeBlanc said...

Um, that's a pig on the half shell??? It looks gross.

♥♥♥
Meredith & Scarlet

Ollie said...

I would definitely eat it!
I love stinky gross stuff. For me, stink is a flavour group, like the ground New Zealand green lipped mussels that I get as a supplement.
It took my human a year to get used to what she calls "the stink of death" smell. I loved from day one.

Pearl and Tessa said...

Looks like oysters....We say yuck also. However, oysters have been long believed to have, ummm, manly effects...just sayin

AllyB said...

Oh Puglet you made me laugh a lot. I'm sorry you didn't care for the oyster. I can assure you that some dogs like that stuff. My brother Sam for instance. He loves anything that smells like fish. Hopefully the next "better than bacon" thing will actually be better. Sniffs, LittleDog in W Mi.

Maggie and Lucy the Pugs in Dallas said...

Pug you are so funny! You make us laugh so much! Have to agree tho, as much as we love to eat, not gonna eat that! And, Ollie is funny with saying he would eat it and loves all stinky gross stuff! Oh Puglet, thanks for this blog so we have some place to come and read your funny thoughts to make our day that much more special!

Julia Smith said...

Oh no Puglet. I am sorry that happen to you. Expecting better than bacon and getting slime. How awful. I think that your human owes you some real bacon.
Levi

Laura A said...

Dutch looks like he'd eat the mystery pig part, but the look on your face, Puglet, is priceless! I can tell you're not impressed.

Sue McGee said...

Hahahaha! Poor Puglet! I think Thumbs got lost going into the pig parts place before she got lost trying to find you and Dutch. She went into a seafood place. An oyster is definitely not a pig part!

South shore pugs said...

Awe Puglet you got hosed. You should have gotten some pancetta, prosciutto, mortadella, or a little soppressata. Oysters don't fall int the catagory of salty pig parts. We would spit it out too. Maybe the bacon is coming next.
Sending our love, Rudy and Billie

Anonymous said...

Ewww! Just by looking at that I think I can safely say that all the humans in my house AND me would spit that out too. Looks ICKY! I hope you get bacon next time. Love, Allie the boxer