Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Of course my human forgot all about my Baconator yesterday. I don't know why, but tripping over things sometimes makes my human remember stuff so first thing this morning I parked myself in front of the refrigerator and waited for her to trip over me. Frank is staying with us this week so he parked too.
The rest went something like this:
HUMAN: PUG! What the!?! What are you doing lying there?? I almost broke my leg.
ME: (innocent silence)
FRANK: we want Wendy.
Even though my human got super mad at us for lying where we shouldn't and almost breaking her leg, the plan worked. At least until my human took the Baconator out of Wendy's bag and it was hard as a rock. Of course I didn't care. I eat rocks all the time and none of them have bacon on them.
But humans can be totally weird about this kind of stuff. So the big question was: when is it too late to eat your Baconator? I said never. Dutch and Frank agreed. Google had about a million different answers. Some of Google's answers said Day 4 is still OK, so I finally talked my human into a yes.
Well, sort of a yes. She said one bite of a bad Baconator probably wouldn't kill me, so I was allowed to have ONE bite. Of course I tried to make it the biggest bite ever and almost choked to death. Then I made the mistake of going in for bite #2 when my human was taking this picture. Big mistake.
The bread part got stuck to the top of my mouth and the good parts fell on the floor. Yeah. Bacon. Meat. Cheese. White stuff. On the freaking floor. Dutch sucked up most of it before I could get the bread unstuck. Frank got a few crumbs. I got in trouble for not obeying the ONE bite rule.
I'm not sure how much trouble I'm in. Or if my human will ever buy me another Baconator. But I think it'd be pretty sucky of her to make my one and only Baconator experience be a bad, 4 day old one. I seriously think this deserves a re-do.