Monday, September 10, 2012

WORSE THAN EATING POO


We didn't do anything fun all weekend so my human could rest/relax/unstress/whatever. And I think it was kinda working... until I did something last night that made her really really really mad. Like, REALLY mad.

If you've never met my human, she's kinda quiet and calm and usually pretty nice. Sort of like a plant. If she yells it means she's really not happy. Last night, she yelled. At me. For, uhm, peeing on the bed.

Her bed.

I know, I know. I'm not supposed to pee on beds. Or anywhere else in the house. I totally *know* this. And I guess that's why my human wanted to kill me for doing it.

HUMAN: Puuuuuuuuuuuug! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
ME: (peeing on bed)
HUMAN: Puuuuuuuuuuug! OUT! OUT! OOOOUUUUUT!
ME: (running out the dog door to escape death)

I've never seen my human so mad and it was pretty freaking scary. So scary that I didn't want to come back inside. So I didn't. If my human hadn't come outside to get me, I'd probably still be sitting on the deck. Ok, maybe I would have come inside this morning to eat breakfast. But you know what I mean. It was that scary.

Anyway. I guess ripping the bed apart calmed my human down because was back to her normal plant-self when she came outside looking for me.

HUMAN: Pug? What are you doing out here?
ME: (ears back, silent)
HUMAN: You peed on my bed.
ME: (slow motion full body I-didn't-men-to tail wag)
HUMAN: Peed. On. The. Bed.
ME: I don't know what happened. It smelled like Frank. I couldn't help it.

I wasn't lying, I swear. Frank totally peed on the bed before I did. And even though I didn't really need to pee, it just kinda came out when I smelled Frank pee. I tried to explain it, but humans totally don't understand pee.

I don't think my human believed me at all. Until this morning when she caught Frank peeing on our dog bed and realized there was A LOT of pee on her bed last night. Like way too much pee to come out of just me.

ME: I told you. Frank peed first.
HUMAN: If Frank jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?
ME: Why would Frank jump off a bridge?
HUMAN: Nevermind. Don't pee where you shouldn't pee. No matter what Frank or anyone else does.
ME: Ok.

22 comments:

Bellatrix- I'm a pug! said...

You guys!! You're suppose to keep your mom calm, not get her all worked up. Don't make me come chew on you and Frank....put you both in your place. Seriously...I will come and make you only capable of squatting from on!!

Anonymous said...

Bad, Bad Frank. Maybe he was too broken from the 1/2 block walk to get up and go outside to pee.

stellaroselong said...

Sam peed on moms bed once, and then trudie peed on moms bed once, but I STELLA ROSE LONG has never peed on moms bed. But I am a reformed poop eater, and moms gets really mad whenever that happened. I think I even had to wear the SCaRLet LEtter P for awhile around my neck.
Be good Pug
Stella Roseergenal 7

Pugs2Luv said...

Your poor human. We almost have no words except we think Bella needs to go over there and straighten you guys out. Thankfully Dutch did not feel the need to follow suit. Please try not to make your human uber-upset, we love her, we love you & Dutch and we love Frank even with all his eccentricities, we hate to think of trouble at Casa de Puglet. Be Good.

Luv, Zoey & Phoebe

Noodles said...

Sigh, Puglet. . .Puglet. . .Puglet
I know. Sometimes our animal side TOTALLY betrays us BUT peeing on the HUMAN'S BED is such a total no no. You are DARN lucky your human is too mellow to send a pic of you AND FRANK to DogShaming. That would be so humiliating - especially since you are such a supermodel (saw your dog food supermodel pic) and so well known.
I still LOVE you but you better watch your back . . . your back fat that is CUZ Bellatrix MIGHT NOT be so understanding.
Love Noodles

Anne said...

OMG! Buddy is such a good boy, until another male pug comes in the house. Then it is a literal pissing match!!!! His pug friend, Floyd, peed in my bed first, then Buddy peed back to recover his turf. I think it's bugs with "F" names that instigate! Lucey is soooo miffed with the boy pugs when they do this that she comes and gets me when they try to pee in the house! I have taken to making the boys wear Buddy Belts when together in the house.

Anonymous said...

Pug, you PEED on the bed????

Guy Noir said...

I have never been on my human's bed because the pug before me, Ascii, peed on the bed and the dad human said no dogs in bed. Ever. He has allergies, and even the cats aren't allowed in bed, so that's good. We have very nice comfy crates so it's not so bad and mom sleeps on the couch with us. But boy, don't pee on the bed, or you might never get back on.

Your Pal Guy Noir

Anonymous said...

Well Pug, maybe your human won't be so mad at you after reading this confession..... I pooped on my big human sister's bed last weekend!!! She was home from college & wanted me to sleep with her. I had to do some business during the night and she didn't listen to my whines & cries to be let out, so nature took it's course. She was so angry having to clean up at 3 am, but she still loves me. Hope this help!

Frodo

Sammy and Neko said...

Marking... yeah, we do.. sorry, mama, papa, we mean, so sorry.. but can't help it sometimes....we make you happy in return, right??

Yoda said...

I know just how you feel Pug...I peed on my human's bed once (actually on her pillow too.) I don't know what came over me but she was pretty mad too. Try to look cute...that worked for me
Yoda from MN

Idaho PugRanch said...

OMP! Bailey peed on the bed yesterday too!. He has been taking prednisone for his back and it makes him very hungry and thirsty.
And has Mom says it makes him "pee like a racehorse!" He has had a few accidents in the laundry room but when Mom and Dad went to go to bed last night - Surprise! a big spot on the bed. UGH! We will all be glad when he gets of the stuff

Greta, Hazel & Bailey

Anonymous said...

Oh Puglet :(
I know you were just trying to cover up the Frank pee so you human wouldn't get mad at him. A lot of good pug deeds go unrecognized in the human world. Frank should be you best friend for life (and bacon) after this. Now dry up!
Love always,
Daisy

Boo & Human said...

Is Frank banned to the dog bed?

Kerry Fountain said...

I know these mistakes sometimes happen. This weekend I got so worked up because our neighbor dog came over to visit that I ended up pooing on my mom's hope chest. There was nothing I could do! Both mom and dad were so mad.....so I went outside and finished!

Clarabelle the pug... :-(

Anonymous said...

What??? You pee'd on the bed.. say it isn't so! But we totally understand that urge to sniff discover its another boy's pee and then you *top it*. Thats what we call it when we pee on top, *top it*. Eli did a squirt or two on the leg of the dining room table and Emmitt *topped it*. Mom discovered the pee squirts and went freaking balistic..there were two black blurs both trying to squeeze thru the doggie door at the same time when mom let out a blood curdling scream. I just stood there laughing on the inside to myself...stupid boys.
I bet Dutch didn't pee on the bed.

Ellie from San Antonio the non pee-r in the house.

Maggie the Pug in Dallas said...

Oh...man! I've never peed on a bed so I bet if I did I would get yelled at too...but I totally get it and some just don't...those are called humans!

Otis from the Sunshine State #268 said...

Oh, Pug, I hope you don't end up in a belly band. That's what happened to me when I went to visit at my human's mom's house and lifted my leg because of her dog. Just couldn't help myself, so I totally know where you are coming from.

Love, Otis

Anonymous said...

I peed in my mom's bed on my first night here- she didn't realize that I was too little to 'hold it' all night long... just like a baby human. I taught her a lesson, and she never made that mistake again. Now I just pee on the bathroom rug! Almost every night- no matter how late my mom takes me out, either!
Lafayette Lola

Mimi, diva pug extraordinaire! said...

Humans don't get that while we like their smell, if we want to claim things, they need to smell like us. the quickest way to do that is with a lil au de pee pee. Frank was being greedy when he claimed YOUR bed, so you had to reclaim it! When I was a baby, I peed AND pooped in mom's bed so i've not been allowed in that room for the past 6 years (and i'm only 6.8 years old) Its ok though, I have my own little apartment within the apartment and it keeps me safe while mom sleeps (she's got some bad sleep issues and worries about me getting into trouble so i don't get free reign) Maybe next time you could just roll around in the bed to reclaim it?

Southern Fried Pugs said...

Puglet, you are not alone. Although we (Tallulah and Petunia) have never peed on mom's bed, Isabelle has once. But she's elderly and can't jump off so she was forgiven. But Petunia has a thing about peeing on the guest beds. Mom has gone through all sorts of cleaners but she keeps going back to the same spots. Which is why no one is allowed in the guest rooms.

Peggy Limmer said...

Hiya Pug,

Have I ever told you that you're my idol?? That I want to be just. like. you. That I try to do EVERYTHING you do. Actually my humans say I'm a lot like you already but I want to be EXACTLY like you. Don't ask me why because I don't understand myself. What I do know is that just like you I peed on the bed!!! YUP. PEED. ON. THE. BED!!! I think I one upped you though because my human was on the bed and my pee even got on her. It was like a gallon of pee and went all over EVERYTHING!!! It was pretty amazing if I do say so myself. I'm not sure if it was worth it yet because I'm still in deep doo doo and my human is watching me like a hawk. I think I'm banned from ever reading the DP again. She said I have enough ideas of my own on how to get in trouble and that I don't need to be getting any more from you. That's alright though because I'll be in Boston on Saturday and I'm pretty sure everyone is going to be so busy with the 1000 Pugs thing that we can have a private chat and no one will even notice. The thing you REALLY need to share with me is how to not only swallow a hot dog whole but how to get my human to even give me one. See you Saturday!!!

Benny