Monday, September 10, 2012
We didn't do anything fun all weekend so my human could rest/relax/unstress/whatever. And I think it was kinda working... until I did something last night that made her really really really mad. Like, REALLY mad.
If you've never met my human, she's kinda quiet and calm and usually pretty nice. Sort of like a plant. If she yells it means she's really not happy. Last night, she yelled. At me. For, uhm, peeing on the bed.
I know, I know. I'm not supposed to pee on beds. Or anywhere else in the house. I totally *know* this. And I guess that's why my human wanted to kill me for doing it.
HUMAN: Puuuuuuuuuuuug! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
ME: (peeing on bed)
HUMAN: Puuuuuuuuuuug! OUT! OUT! OOOOUUUUUT!
ME: (running out the dog door to escape death)
I've never seen my human so mad and it was pretty freaking scary. So scary that I didn't want to come back inside. So I didn't. If my human hadn't come outside to get me, I'd probably still be sitting on the deck. Ok, maybe I would have come inside this morning to eat breakfast. But you know what I mean. It was that scary.
Anyway. I guess ripping the bed apart calmed my human down because was back to her normal plant-self when she came outside looking for me.
HUMAN: Pug? What are you doing out here?
ME: (ears back, silent)
HUMAN: You peed on my bed.
ME: (slow motion full body I-didn't-men-to tail wag)
HUMAN: Peed. On. The. Bed.
ME: I don't know what happened. It smelled like Frank. I couldn't help it.
I wasn't lying, I swear. Frank totally peed on the bed before I did. And even though I didn't really need to pee, it just kinda came out when I smelled Frank pee. I tried to explain it, but humans totally don't understand pee.
I don't think my human believed me at all. Until this morning when she caught Frank peeing on our dog bed and realized there was A LOT of pee on her bed last night. Like way too much pee to come out of just me.
ME: I told you. Frank peed first.
HUMAN: If Frank jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?
ME: Why would Frank jump off a bridge?
HUMAN: Nevermind. Don't pee where you shouldn't pee. No matter what Frank or anyone else does.