Yesterday I went to this thing called Bay to Breakers. It's a race from one side of San Francisco (the bay) to the other (the ocean - or, uh, breakers). Bay to Breakers has been happening every year for the past 99 years (!) but this is the first time I've been allowed to participate.
I didn't actually get to be in the race. My human said it'd be hard enough to run from one end of the city to another - she didn't want to worry about having to carry "my chunky pug butt" to the finish line. Carry me?? Who does she think I am, broken Frank? Seriously. Google says Bay to Breakers is a 12k. I don't really know what a "k" is, but if there's only 12 of them, I'm sure I could totally make it.
But I still ended up waiting at the finish line. Dressed up like a lobster. A lobster wearing running shoes. Yeah. I was NOT happy about this at first. I mean, I felt like such a complete dork standing there in a lobster suit. Until all the other dorks - uh, I mean runners - showed up. People were dressed in all sorts of crazy costumes. Flying Elvises. Human port-a-potties. French fries. Penguins. And a ton of other things I couldn't really identify.
Oh - and there were naked people. Lots and lots of crazy naked people.
I know I walk around naked pretty much every day. But I've got fur. People without clothes on are just... naked. And naked people running around in the cold? Yeah. That's not something I ever want to see again.
Anyway. By the time my human to crossed the finish line, I'd learned how to run in my new shoes. It was kinda weird at first, but once I got the hang of them, I felt really... FAST. Sooo fast that I challenged brother Dutch to a race. Of course he said yes to me and my new fast shoes because he always, always wins.
My human made me take off my fast new shoes for the race. She said they gave me an "unfair advantage". I was kinda disappointed, but whatever. As you can see in the photo-finish, the race was close, but my chunky pug butt kicked someone's spotted, uhm, be-hind. Even without my new fast shoes.