EXPOSED: The truth about camping.

Hey everybody, Dutch here. I know Pug just spent the last two days talking about nature and how much fun our weekend in the wild was. And you're all probably sick of hearing about it. But in the interest of fair and balanced blogging, I'd like to tell you about *my* wilderness experience.

It's no secret that I don't like camping. I once faked a limp during a trip to Utah so my human would cut our time in outdoor hell short and return me to civilization. But Pug loves camping for some reason. And because he loves it, he makes the whole thing sound like so much.... fun. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's not.

What fresh hell is this??

Take sleeping under the stars, for example. It happened on this camping trip because my human forgot to bring the tent. Yes, the tent. If you've never been camping, a tent is the thing that's supposed to protect you from nature while you sleep. Yeah, we didn't have one of those this time. My human tried to sugarcoat the situation by giving tentlessness a cool name. A "bivouac", she called it. Well she can call it whatever she wants, but I call it sleeping on the ground waiting to be eaten by a bear. Because that's exactly what it is and there is nothing fun about it.

Supermodeling & backpack-free.

Then there's the backpack. Pug hates that I have a backpack and he doesn't. But that's only because he's never actually worn a backpack. While he was prancing around like a supermodel in his cute little stay-cool bandana, I schlepped bottles of water like some sort of pack animal. Being mistaken for a mule is one more reason not to like camping.

Lack of basic amenities is another reason not to like it. Pug thought it was cool to eat out of a ziplock bag, but seriously. Are you kidding me? I like to eat my food from a bowl like a civilized dog. Plastic bags are for poop.

And then there's the dirt. And the bugs. And things that go boo in the night. I don't like any of those things and camping is all about ALL of these things. Maybe if camping was cleaner and bugless, I'd enjoy it more. But it's not. So I don't.

Don't get me wrong, I really do like nature. I just don't think anyone should have to sleep in it for days at a time. Especially without a tent. Or a bowl to eat and drink from. Honestly, the only thing I like about camping is when it's over and I get to go home and sleep in a nice clean bed.

HOT AND SNOWY?

I really hope you all like nature because I'm going to talk about it again today. More specifically, about snow. Because even though it was hot enough in the mountains to need the stay-cool bandana Spencer B + Bella T sent me, it wasn't too hot to be snowy. At least on the ground, anyway.

I'm totally not kidding. See that picture of me running? My human took that on Sunday. It was 82 degrees and I was running around in snow. Crazy huh? Google said it has something to do with altitude and thermal something or other, but I don't care what made it happen - I'm just glad it did because snow is so much fun!

Well, unless you're Dutch and hate everything that has anything to do with camping. Or if you lived in 1847 and your last name was Donner. Because according to this sign thingy I found near the purple-flower meadow, the Donner people got snowed in and the snow killed them.

Yeah. I wasn't going to mention the whole Donner Party thing, but Dutch said I have to because it's "historically significant". He also said the Donner people ate each other, but Google isn't 100% sure about this so I'm pretty sure Dutch just said that to freak me out.

I do know the Donners must have done something special because a whole bunch of the wilderness is named after them. Donner Lake, Donner Pass, Donner Summit - they're all over the place. But I guess if you set off on an adventure thinking you're going to find a new life and end up finding "misery and death", you deserve to have your own lake and stuff.

I like adventures and don't plan to stop having them anytime soon. But I'm definitely going to avoid doing anything that could get a lake or mountain named after me.

#1 BEST BIRTHDAY #2 EVER!

OK. First I have to say how awesome you all are for filling my special-day with soooo many happy birthdays! Totally made Birthday #2 the BEST birthday ever. Even with the stupid cone hat.

You might be wondering if I did anything extrasuperspecial on my birthday (other than open presents and eat) and why you haven't heard anything about it until now. Well, I did. And it kept me away from the computer for a few days. Because what we did was far, far away from any computer.

What we did was camping!

Yup. My human surprised me with a trip to the wilderness, to a place called Tahoe. It's where we went to visit the snow last Christmas (more on that later) and is my #1 other favorite place to be (SF is my main #1 favorite place). I got to hike tall mountains and swim in water that's clearer than the stuff that comes out of the faucet at home.

We saw a ton of nature, including 9 deers, 1 marmot, 5 bunnies, too many bees to count, a gazillion baby frogs and a dead porkypine. Dutch swears he either saw or heard a bear, but isn't sure which so I don't 100% believe him. We ran through giant fields of pretty, smelly flowers and played keep-away with pinecones bigger than my head.

Seeing nature is cool, but becoming part of it is even cooler. Sleeping under the stars, never having to wear a leash, not eating from a babyblue polka dotted bowl that says "STUD" on the bottom of it - that's what I call living. And even though we were only gone a few days, I'm pretty sure part of me totally returned to the wild.

SURPRISE! (Birthday #2)

Hey! I found out why Freeze Frame Friday happened yesterday instead of today. It's because today is my special-day! Today I am two years old.

It's been a whole year since my last birthday, so I wasn't sure if it was anything to get excited about. I kinda remembered something about having to wear a cone on my head, and that worried me a little. But then Dutch told me a special box came in the mail yesterday. A big, tasty smelling box. Just for me. From my friends Spencer B and Bellatrix!

How cool is that?

But before I could open my special box, my human said I had to celebrate my birthday. This made no sense to me, because I thought the box from Spencer B & BellaT was celebrating my birthday.

MY HUMAN: before we open presents, you have to wear the hat.
ME: the hat?
MY HUMAN: the scary, shiny birthday cone. Remember?
ME: oh. Yeah. That hat.

Somehow my human, who loses EVERYTHING she touches, managed not to lose the scary shiny hat I had to wear last year on my birthday. And she made me wear it again. Because I guess that's what you have to do on your birthday before you're allowed to eat your presents.

My birthday hat is more stupid and less scary than I remember it. But I wore it. Not happily, but the humiliation didn't last long and when it was over I got to open presents. And eat.

First I ate a special Happy Birthday cookie the nice Pugnacious lady slipped into our shopping bag. Then I opened the box from Spencer & BellaT. There were yummy snacks inside, a very cool unstuffed chicken, some freeze dried bullypenises and a extrasuperspecial note that says a donation was made to ARF in my honor. The note made my human leak a little (in a happy way, she said), but I was too busy chewing on on one of the bullypenises to get all leaky.

But when my human said that Dutch hijacked The Daily Puglet last week to ask everyone what to get me for Birthday #2, I did get a tiny bit leaky (and totally warm & fuzzy). So I gave him one of the bullypenises and a bite of my Pugnacious cookie. I also let him wear this very neat stay-cool bandana SpencerB & BellaT sent so I can keep cool in hot weather... and look cute like Bellatrix.

You're really supposed to wear the stay-cool bandana around your neck - but you're also supposed to be pug-sized to wear it. Please don't mention this to Dutch. Even though it wasn't hot out, I could tell he felt cool with it on.

If you haven't turned two yet, I totally recommend doing it as soon as possible. If you've already turned more than two, maybe let the rest of us know what that's like? Specifically, is there a hat involved??

FF THURSDAY?

Ok. Please don't ask me why Freeze Frame Friday is suddenly Freeze Frame Thursday. My human didn't explain why, but the way things have been going, it probably has something to do with some sort of surprise I know nothing about.

So, today you get to see me practicing my superhero moves. I've been working on this "Superpug" pose for awhile now. I'm not sure my performance is 100% there yet, but I'll let you see it anyway.

SUPERPUG!

And, because you are the best friends a pug could ever have, I'll even let you see my not-so-supercute impression of a hyena. I saw one once on Animal Planet and thought they were kinda, uhm, tough?

And just so I'm not the only one looking goofy today, here's Dutch doing his best impression of "your silly poses bore me". He practices this look a lot.

LOVE AT POINT ISABEL

Even though we hiked with the cows before going to Pugnacious, on the way home we stopped at a place called Pt. Isabel to run around some more. My human said it had something to do with traffic, but I think it's really because we ate a bunch of Pugnacious snacks and she doesn't want me to get any fatter than I already am.

Whatever the reason, it was cool to sniff butts with dogs from the other side of the bridge. Especially since I've been thinking about finding a new girl to love. I mean, Jenny the Pug will always be The One, but she lives all the way in Oregon and we might never get a chance to actually meet.

Maybe it's time I start looking for, uh, The Two?

Pt Isabel seemed like a good place to find a geographically desirable girlfriend, so I put out the I'm-available vibe and waited. I didn't have to wait long though - those East Bay girls don't waste any time! Within minutes, I was being sniffed up by a nice Beagle named Taiko and a little white dog whose name I totally can't remember.

Taiko the Beagle was cool, and the little white dog was cute and all. But there just wasn't any spark or flame or whatever. It kinda made me a little sad, and that made me miss Jenny the Pug even more. Until I saw Gracie the bulldog...

Gracie is big and beefy and really, really hot. And not hot because she has a smooshface and the weather was warm. I mean she's hot like HOT. The kind of hot that makes sparks and flames happen. Which is exactly what, uh, happened.

For the record, I'm not one of those dogs who's big on humping. I like to hump my buddy Frank, but that's just a bromance thing. Except for him, I keep my humping to myself. But there's something about Gracie that just made me crazy. Even when my human told me to stop, I just couldn't stop.

If it weren't for the humping, I'd have more pictures of my beautiful, beefy Gracie. But my human said she didn't want to take those kind of pictures and put the camera away real quick. I guess it doesn't really matter though. I don't need her stupid pictures to remember a girl like Gracie.

PUGNACIOUS!

I don't know what's up with my human and surprises lately, but it's been a total surprise fest around here. Not that that's a bad thing. Especially when she surprises me with things like a visit from Frank the pug... or a trip to the BEST store on earth.

The store is called Pugnacious and I have no idea why this is the first time we ever went there. No idea. I mean, hello! It's a store for pugs! Ok, it's not just for pugs. Dutch found a basket of Henrietta rubber chickens and a magic treat dispenser that was clearly not meant for pugs. But still. Pugnacious knows pugs.

The store is filled with all sorts of tasty stuff to eat. There were snacks made from animals I'd never heard of (Kangaroo? Bison? Herring?) and animal parts I didn't even know existed (lungs, giant black hooves and tripe?). Everything smelled soooo yummy, even the signs on their shelves tasted - uh, I mean smelled - good.

I'm waaay more into food than fashion, but Pugnacious had some very cool fashion if you're into that kinda thing. And even if you're not into that kinda thing, check out the coolest pug collar ever. If it wasn't pink, I'd probably be wearing it right now.

My human bought a whole bunch of stuff, but she says it's - yup, you guessed it - a surprise! So I have no idea what she got me or when I'm going to get to eat it. I heard the nice Pugnacious lady say something about adding a special surprise to our shopping bag, but my human says I have to wait for that too :(

I'm not into the waiting part, but am really starting to like this surprise stuff. I liked the Pugnacious surprise so much, I didn't want it to end. When it came time to leave, I put on my cutest "please don't make me" face and hoped for some kind of miracle. My plan didn't work, but if you're ever near Berkeley, you should totally visit Pugnacious. They'll love you and feed you free snacks. Even if you're not a pug.

SURPRISE!

So, our weekend was going pretty normal until late Saturday afternoon. That's when my human said she had a surprise for me. A great big giant surprise.

Of course I thought she was talking about the Seattle surprise, so I got kinda nervous instead of getting excited. Especially when we drove to a house I've never been to before and she went inside without us. And came out a few minutes later with... a pug?!?

ME: Holy cowpies. She got us another pug!
DUTCH: No freaking way. No she didn't.
ME: Oh yes she did! I mean, that's a pug right?
DUTCH: Ugh.

Well. My nervous-excitement (and Dutch's horror) didn't last very long. Turns out the pug was just my friend Frank. And he wasn't coming to live with us - just visiting for a few days. Once I found that out, the nervous part went away and I was just plain excited (Dutch stayed horrified).

I had loads of fun playing Sumo-wrestler with Frank, but I still have no idea what the whole Seattle surprise thing is all about. Today I overheard my human talking to a random stranger lady about two pugs named Frank + Bean. And get this - the lady (apparently a friend of Frank + Bean's) was from Seattle... and so are Frank + Bean. I'm pretty sure that's some kind of clue but I don't know what it means.

Yet.

FFF: Not my finest moment

Ever since my human got back from Seattle, she's been taking lots of pictures of Dutch. And I mean LOTS of pictures. Which means he's been getting lots of cookies - lots of *my* cookies - and I haven't.

I'm not sure if this has anything to do with me being fat, but I've been trying really really hard to get my human to take pictures of me too. I've tried looking my cutest, but she didn't seem to notice. I've tried looking sad, but that didn't do much good either. I even tried copying everything Dutch does, like this:

I got water up my snout, but didn't score a single cookie :(

Between the Seattle mystery I still know nothing about and the sucky new diet, I've been a little grumpier than usual the past few days. And yesterday I kinda sorta snapped when my human kept pointing the camera at Dutch and not me. It was not one of my finer moments. And thanks to my human and her stupid camera, this little moment was frozen in time for all to see.

S.O.S.

Hi everybody. It's Dutch. Pug will kill me if he finds out I hijacked his blog, so please don't tell him I'm here. But I really need some help. Your help. Pug-specific help.

Next week is Pug's birthday. And I normally wouldn't get him anything because he's already spoiled enough as it is. But he's been a little sad since the new fat-pug diet started, and very worried about whatever happened in Seattle with our human and {quote from Pug} "a bunch of Booty-stealing stranger pugs". I feel kinda bad for the little guy and figure a birthday surprise might make him feel better.

I know there are a lot of pugs here. Any ideas about what to get Pug for birthday #2? If it's eatable, it needs to be diet-friendly. I don't care if it's something we can share or not because Pug doesn't share with me anyway.

Thanks!

PS: Suggestions from non-pugs are also completely welcomed (pugs don't rule the ENTIRE world, you know).

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

I know everyone's been waiting to hear about the big Seattle secret. Well, you're not alone. I've been waiting too. And I'm still waiting. Because my human's been either busy or tired since she got home and hasn't said a peep. And when I tried asking her about it, all she said is Seattle's "VERY cool".

Doesn't exactly tell you much, huh?

So, I've started snooping around. Y'know, looking for clues. All her stuff smells so weird, sniffing her bags didn't tell me much - except that Seattle (or the airplane or the taxi or the train) smells like a mixture of newspaper and feet. My sense of smell is my best snooping weapon, so this was very discouraging.

Without any smells to go on, I was about to give up. Until I spied a big fat clue on my human's computer: pictures from her trip. Pictures of pugs! And not just the pug in today's picture. No. There are LOTS of pug pictures. Of LOTS of different pugs. Pugs I have never seen before and do not know. Pugs eating something that looked suspiciously like Pirate's Booty - like my Pirate's Booty - while having their picture taken. By my human's camera.

Uh, hello. That's my job!

So, apparently my human went to Seattle to give my food away and take pictures of strange pugs. And when I confronted her about what you see in today's picture, the truth didn't exactly surface.

MY HUMAN: oh, that's Fiona. Isn't she CUTE?!?
ME: why are you feeding her Pirate's Booty?
MY HUMAN: duh, Puglet. So I could take her picture.
ME: oh.

And now you know as much about Seattle as I do. My human did say we're going to have "a talk" and I'm kinda wondering if a talk can be a surprise. And if a talk-surprise is ever a good surprise. It definitely doesn't sound as good as, say, green lipped mussel cookies :(

AFTER

My human came back from Seattle last night and I am soooo happy. Apparently, I am also sooooo fat.

Uhm. Yeah.

When I came running out of the House of Meat, she was all happy to see me at first. At least for the first 5 seconds. So I thought all was OK. I thought we might skip the whole weigh-in thing. And then I guess she got a good look at me because the first thing she said was:

Oh my God. What happened to the Pug? He looks like a giant fur sausage!

I knew right away that meant we'd be stopping at the scale on the way home. And I was pretty sure that meant I'd never eat another cookie for as long as I live.

My human thought the scale would say I weigh 28lbs. And she was [quote] "horrified" by this. So when the scale said I really weigh more like 30.1lbs - she was totally NOT happy. Not so much because I have a few new neck rolls and something that looks a lot like cellulite, but because it's superunhealthy for a dog to gain 4.5 pounds in 4 days.

I don't think we'll ever be allowed to stay at the House of Meat again. And my human says it's going to be a loooong time before I get anything to eat but carrots and the usual 1/2 cup of food a day. Including the special Green-lipped Mussel & Venison cookies she brought home from Seattle :(


PS: My human still hasn't told me why she left us, but my 30.1 pound gut tells me something is going on.

HOME ALONE

I haven't seen my human in FOUR whole days. And even though she didn't exactly leave me and Dutch home alone, she still left us. The labs and The Man and the House of Meat was superfun in the beginning, but now we just want our human back. Well, Dutch says he wants to stay at the House of Meat - but I don't think he means it.

I'm can't wait until my human to comes home tomorrow. And even though I *know* she's going to put me on a scale - and when she sees my "after" weight, tell me I won't be getting treats for the next 2 years - I can't wait for her to be back.

PS: I'm really glad you all have stayed with me while she's been gone.

FFF: Catch the ham

If you've been reading the Daily Puglet since the beginning, you already know all about the piece of meat that lives inside my friend Jack & his brother Vegas' mouths. And how much I like trying to catch the meat (obsessed is the word my human uses).

After a year and a half of trying every technique imaginable, I've never actually caught the mouth meat. I have learned that the thing I'm trying to catch really isn't meat, but really crazy Labrador tongues. But that doesn't mean it's any less fun to attack it. Uhm, I mean try and catch it.

BEFORE

Later today my human will abandon me and Dutch at The Man's house for FIVE entire days. Last time I stayed with The Man (aka 'the house of meat') I got really, uh, fat - so my human said we should weigh me before I go. She wants to do some sort of scientific experiment to see how much tubeyness a pug can gain in 5 days.

So last night we stopped at the store with the scale and found out I'm already past my 25lb tubey mark. This probably has to do with all the cookies I ate for the Blue Pug video - but it's not a good sign. My human stops feeding me treats and stuff if the scale says I'm over 25lbs, so at 25.6lbs I'm already kinda hosed. And five days at the house of meat isn't exactly like going to fat camp. I may never get to eat treats again!

We'll see on Tuesday what my stay at The Man's House of Meat has done to my waistline. Anyone want to guess what my "after" weight will be?

THE INTERROGATION

So last night I was superexcited about how much people like Blue Pug. Trying to save the planet just feels good, y'know? And just when I thought life couldn't get any more exciting, my human pulled a bag out of the closet and started packing. Like we were going to take a trip.

Cool!

Or so I thought. Turns out it's not so cool because when I asked where we are going, she dropped the bomb. She is going away, but we are not. Yeah. And when I asked what exactly she'll be doing without us, she just said 'going to Seattle'.

ME: why are you going to Seattle?
MY HUMAN: it's a secret.
ME: so tell me the secret.
MY HUMAN: uh, it's a secret because I can't tell you.

So my human is leaving us for FIVE DAYS and I have no idea why. I tried making every pathetic look and sound puggily possible to get her to spill the beans. I even got kinda mad and demanded she tell me - or else. But my threats didn't do a thing. Because apparently the entire state of Washington is a great big secret.

I don't know what she's up to, and I'm not so sure I like that. The only good thing about all this is it means me & Dutch get to stay at The Man's house with the crazy Labrador brothers for FIVE DAYS. And I'm kinda excited about that part. But that's the only part.

I mean, what's so big about Seattle? And how can it be better than staying here with me??

HAPPY WOD!

Even though I'm a land pug, I love the ocean. I love to swim in it, love the way it feels on my toes. I love the way it smells, the way it tastes, the funny sounds it makes. And I love the creatures who live in the ocean - even though I usually only meet them after they've gone to sleep and washed up on the beach.

So when I heard about World Oceans Day, I thought it'd be cool to do a video like the one we did for Earth Day. Google says most of the planet is ocean - so to be Green, we also need to be Blue. My protest of the Gulf oil spew didn't exactly get anyone's attention, but maybe my Blue Pug self will.

Oh, and wait til you see brother Dutch in the video. He's still no supermodel, but his acting is getting sooo much better.

Happy World Oceans Day!!

CLICK HERE to watch video on youtube.

BLUE PUG

So, over the weekend we filmed the sequel to my Earth Day video. This one is for World Oceans Day so I guess that means Green Pug is now.... Blue Pug?

World Oceans Day is tomorrow, so it was all kinda last minute. The stupid fog kept getting in the way of making a video about spending a nice day at the beach - but with all that's happening with the oil spew in the Gulf right now, I couldn't let a little fog keep me from being Blue.

Anyway. My human is still doing whatever she does to turn what we did into an actual movie, and I'm really bummed because that means I can't give you all a special sneak preview. But I do have a little behind-the-scenes footage. I'll talk more about the ocean tomorrow, but for now I have a question:

Who here likes to swim?

Because I LOVE to swim. Love it. My human says pugs aren't exactly built for water, that I'm "half an inch and one gulp away from drowning". So she makes me wear this superdorky orange floaty thing that none of the other dogs have to wear. Not even Dutch. And he's a great big dork. And a complete wuss.

Sometimes I'm fast enough to make it to the water without the floaty thing. It doesn't make my human very happy when I do this, but swimming naked just makes me feel so... free.

Here I am, minus the dorky floaty, during the filming of Blue Pug.

FFF: Look at ME!

It's been kind of a heavy week around here, huh? Oil spill protests, woodchip attacks, that food party I wasn't invited to. Jeesh. I'm so glad it's Friday. Especially because Friday isn't just Friday anymore.

(Friday is now Freeze Frame Friday - just in case you missed last week)

This week's FFF isn't the frozen-in-time kind. But it's still ridiculous and it totally made my human laugh, so I'm going with it. OK, so we were at the park and my human was taking pictures of Dutch. Or trying to take pictures of Dutch, anyway. And I was getting kinda bored and SUPER frustrated because Dutch was hogging the camera and getting all the cookies. He wasn't even posing or anything.

So when my human wasn't looking, I climbed up on this funny looking stumpy thing and did my best to look extrasupercute. It totally worked because when she turned around and saw me looking up at her from the stump (first picture), she stopped taking pictures of Dutch and put all her attention back where it should be. On ME.

Me on the ridiculous stumpy thing.

PROTEST

I don't know if everyone's human forves them to listen to NPR in the car, but mine does. If you've never ridden in an NPR-filled car, there isn't any music. Just a lot of talking. And that means sometimes I hear stuff about the world I'd rather not know about. Things a pug would never ever do. Things that make me sad.

Like the oil spill in the Gulf.

NPR has been talking about the oil for over a month now and it's STILL not fixed. It even sounds like it's getting worse. Me and Dutch donated our extra fur to sop up the oil, and I know lots of other dogs did too. So why is the oil still spilling??

When I think about all the fishes and turtles and things that live in the Gulf, it makes me want to cry. When I think of the people and dogs who live near the Gulf, it makes me want to cry. But I know crying won't fix anything. I mean, it won't even get me invited to a food party.

So I asked Google what I can do instead of crying. And Google said one way to demand change is to protest. So yesterday I kinda protested. At least I tried to protest. I parked myself in the middle of the sidewalk in front of our house and did the most intense Jimmy pose ever.

On the inside, I was demanding change. STOP THE OIL! SAVE THE GULF! But on the outside, I think I just looked cute. Because that's what people kept saying. Awwww - he's sooo cute. Oh my God - look at the PUG! One person said I looked like a "beached slug" (and I don't think they meant it as a compliment) but no one seemed to notice I was demanding change.

If you protest on the inside but no one else hears you, does it still count? Did my sidewalk-Jimmying do anything to save the Gulf??

WOODCHIPS STRIKE AGAIN

Last night we got an email that made my human make sad noises. Y'know the kind of noises that aren't quite as sad as leaking eyes, but definitely aren't happy? Those kind of noises.

Turns out our pug friend Wendell didn't get to go to a Memorial Day food party either. Because he had to have emergency surgery. Because he ate a woodchip the size of a stack of five quarters. And it got stuck.

Yeah.

Wendell is doing OK now. But I know how it feels to have a giant woodchip in your belly and it isn't exactly a good time. And having to get a woodchip taken out at the vet is definitely waay worse than not getting to go a food party. Wendell, I totally feel for you.

My human says it's just a matter of time before I eat something that my {quote} "bionic supercolon" can't handle. She says I should learn from Wendell. And Anakin. And Lilo the Great Rock Eater. And all the other pugs & dogs who've ever been cut open because they ate something un-eatable.

I'm not 100% convinced that anything is truly uneatable if you try hard enough. My human says Wendell probably thought the same thing when he was gulping down the giant woodchip. She says just because you can swallow something, doesn't mean you can eat it. Don't tell her I said this, but I think this theory needs further testing.

Wendell, I'm superglad you're OK. Feel better soon!

THE SADDEST PUG

I hope everybody had fun during the long weekend. My human was superbusy with some top secret something, but on Saturday we played with friends at the beach, and Sunday we went for a long hike. Even though Monday was a special-day, it was kinda like a normal weekend.

Until yesterday. When my human left us. And went to some kind of food party. Yeah. A special-day food party. And we - me and Dutch, but more importantly ME - were not invited.

ME: what do you mean we're not invited?
MY HUMAN: uh, I mean dogs are not invited.
ME: what kind of party doesn't want dogs to come??
MY HUMAN: one with a lot of food.

She said something about begging and snatching and people losing fingers or their dinners. Something else about paper plates at dog level and chicken bones. And then... she said goodbye and left. Without me.

Uh, I mean us.

I tried to look as sad as puggily possible as she walked away. I even made pathetic little wimpery noises. But it totally didn't work. So me and Dutch had to stay home and watch animal planet while my human partied with food. She didn't even bring us home like a party flavor or anything. I mean, what kind of special-day is that??

Did anyone here get to go to one of those food parties yesterday? Seriously, I want to know what I missed.