So, my human went to a meat-fest yesterday - just like the one on Memorial Day that me and Dutch weren't allowed to attend. And just like on Memorial Day, we weren't allowed to go to this one either.
But unlike the Memorial Day Meat Fest, this time my human brought us home a doggie bag! Actually, it was one of those tupperware things, but when she walked through the door carrying something other than car keys, I knew it must be for us. This never happens, and I was soooooo excited. It almost made up for being left home. Alone. With the scary firework noises.
That is, until she opened the tupperware thing to give us a taste of what she brought home. And what was inside it was not meat. Or anything even remotely meaty. The stuff was kind of the same color as meat, but smelled funny and had little chewy black things stuck in it. The black things were super bitter and I spit them out, which is good because my human said you're not supposed to eat them.
I forget what the stuff my human brought home is called, but it's low in calories and supposedly a "traditional 4th of July food". I've given up trying to keep track of all these weird Special-Days, but I really want to know if there's a day with a "traditional food" that tastes more like, say, Popeye's fried chicken??