So last night it was finally time for the big interrogation scene. Frank Week was over. Dutch was hiding. My human was totally sleep deprived. Things couldn't have been any perfecter.
Google said the fastest way to get a confession is to mix relaxation with, uh, terror. So I waited for my human to get comfortable on the couch, then tuned into my inner psycho and tried to scare her into talking. I made noises and scary faces. I hovered over her head, trying to intimidate my human the way humans sometimes intimidate dogs.
But nothing. Not a word. Not a peep. Definitely no confession.
And not because my interrogation techniques weren't good or anything. No. She didn't spill the beans because she was sleeping. Yeah. Google didn't mention that when you combine sleep deprivation with relaxation the interrogate-ee might decide to take a nap.
So, the secret lives on for another day. I haven't given up or anything. But when I saw my human lying there, all sleep deprived and napping, joining her just seemed like the right thing to do. So I curled up with my human and tried to forget about all the things she may or may not be doing with other dogs and pugs in particular.
And then I slept.