I still have a bunch of adventuring to tell you about - our trip to Chengoo and George, the mysterious disappearing chickens, what happened when I Jimmied next to a heart shaped thing downtown - but I'm taking a break from adventures today to talk about more pressing things.
Like moral dilemmas. And mantras on underwear.
Ok, here's the thing. Even though I reached the 'acceptance' stage of grief, we all know that deep down, I can't stand my human's Frolic Photography stuff. But I'm also kinda torn, because I really love my human and people in general and the stupid Frolic stuff seems to make everyone happy. Like, Awwwwww kind of happy.
So when I overheard my human talking to my friend Lily's mom (she shoots dogs too) about not being good at self-promotion, and having a hard time getting her gimpy brain to approach/talk to strangers, I felt kinda bad for her. I mean, I'm like the king of self-promotion, right? And I pretty much greet to every human I see, whether they want to be greeted or not.
Then last weekend at the dog park, I overheard my human talking to Bellatrix's mom about this same problem. Bella's mom is like me, she'll talk to anyone. And she said she could totally "pimp out my human" (I think "pimp out" is kinda like promoting) but I'm pretty sure my human kinda has to do her own pimping.
Now I kinda feel compelled to help. Even though I don't really want to (I think this is where the moral dilemma part comes in).
So I asked google what to do. And google said something about doing the right thing. And my human needing a mantra - something you tell yourself over and over again until you believe it. Or it comes true. Or something like that.
The mantra thing sounded like a good idea to me, but my human's gimpy brain forgets things a lot, so I don't think the "over and over and over again" part of a mantra will work without some kind of reminder. And our house is already full of those post-it note things. So google suggested a poster. Or a screen saver. Or a T shirt. But my human would just forget to look at the first two, and would never wear the third one.
Then it hit me: motivational underwear!
My human could wear her mantra ALL THE TIME and nobody would ever know. And every time she pees (and she pees like all the time) she'd see it and remember. Genius, right?
So I got a friend to make her a pair of the underwear. I don't know if it'll work, but it totally made her laugh. Said something about hoping she doesn't get hit with a bus with them on.
And just in case my genius idea doesn't work... if anyone has a better idea than the underwear, please share it.