Friday, January 18, 2013

I AM SO GROSS?


My human was supposed to let me have her thumbs last night after dinner. Except she fell asleep watching some dude named Lance talk lie to Oprah. Lately the sleep thing happens whenever she sits down. It's kinda weird.

Anyway, it's probably a good thing I didn't get to finish my blog yesterday. Things weren't going so good....

MY HUMAN: don't you waggle at me.
ME: I'm trying to say sorry.
MY HUMAN: you wouldn't have to say sorry if you'd just STOP EATING FREAKING POO!
ME: (says nothing, tries to look pathetic)
MY HUMAN: stop orbing at me.

That's as far as we got. She threw a blanket over my head when I didn't stop orbing at her, then fell asleep. I'm lucky I didn't suffocate under there or something.

I've been stuck on the end of a leash for weeeeeeks because of the poo. Do you know how boring it is to walk three feet away from a human? Well, it's BORING. So I begged to be free. I said please so many times my human got sick of saying no.

Yes!

She made me promise I'd be good so of course I promised. I didn't know I'm the only dog in our whole entire neighborhood who eats park poo. And without me around to suck it down, the park would be full of it. Aged poo. New Poo. Too much poo to be good.

So I was bad. Three times.

The first time I pretended not to hear when my human called my name. The second time I grabbed some poo and hid behind a tree. The third time I ran away with a full mouth and pretended my human wasn't screaming her head off like a crazy person. At me.

On the way home from the park she just kept saying you are so gross. Over and over and over again.
Dutch snarfed down half a muffin in front of 7-11 and all my human said was Duuuutch! Life is so not fair.

30 comments:

misti adams said...

this is amazing Amanda. my pug jonas eats poo too, but he eats his sister olive's sometimes when I am at work for too long. it disgusts me to no end, and he orbs at me too. funny, it is probably exactly the same orb.

can I say that your perseverance with this blog and your intolerance of the haters really impresses me. after all, that's all they want, is to know they've got to you.

i am sure there are more than a few of us that worry to no end that they will put a stop to your blog, but you continue as you must know how important it is to so many.

i will also say my joanie & olive are 2 of the 999 and i back you 100%. i still think its funny what you said to me at our photoshoot "you didn't know you were joining a cult when you first got a pug, did you"

much love and support - misti, joanie & olive

Buford T. Justice said...

Dude....If I could EVER get off a leash I would totally eat poo which is why I NEVER get off leash anymore.....I wish I could go for a walk in your park.....

Buford T. (poo eater) Justice

Hugo the Portland Pug said...

I soooo wish I knew what life OFF of the leash was like. I will never know because I would be gone, like, INSTANTLY. Dog poo, not my thing. Cat poo, totally my thing. I can definitely relate on eating weird things though. One time my mom took me out at night and I grabbed something super yummy and my mom had to pry it out of my locked jaws. She thinks it was some kind of dead bird carcus. She was...not happy. To say the least. Anyway, keep sneaking poo. I won't tell! <3

Daisy and Lily said...

Dear Puglet's human: our human says that if you feed dogs pineapple, it makes the poo not taste quite so good. Not sure if that helps since he eats stranger poo, but if he ever eats his own poo, perhaps pineapple in his diet will make it taste icky and he will stop eating all poo.

My human also wanted us to tell you that we are 2 of 100 and don't mind waiting as long as it takes to get our pictures. We didn't do it for the photos we did it to help pugs in need, the photos are a bonus. Don't let the haters get you down. We know you have a full time job too!

Pugs and kisses!
Daisy and Lily from Seattle

Otis from the Sunshine State #268 said...

Pug, you are not gross and not alone in the poo eating. My person's first pug, Milo, was an avid poo eater....all 14 years of his poo-eating life. I don't really like to eat poo or step in it....I do the moon-walking thing backwards when I come across it, but if you like poo, that's okay. No judgement from me and my person totally understands from experience.

Love, Otis

Scoutie Pug said...

Oh, Puglet. Poo? You make me look so good when you post stories like this:)
Love and kisses,
Scoutie

The Slimmer Pugs, Kitties, and Mama said...

Puglet,
Ima poo eater, too. It makes the mamas go crazy when I do that. They have invested in the Talk to Me Treat "minty bones"...seriously...I feel rewarded when I eat the poo...but don't let them know that! :)
Your furiend,
Gracie Lynn

Anonymous said...

Shessh, we are not haters, just simply other human beings who deserve to be acknowleged.

Pug, we too, have taken a big bite of the Poo sandwich (1000 Pugs) and agree it is gross and it stinks.

Lance came clean....

Joan Pieron said...

Puglet needs to eat some Bananas then he won't eat Poo.

Mercy said...

"orbing"... LOL !!
Kissis, Kisses,
Mercy

Suki said...

Hi Pug, AKA Poo Eater.
Oh man , I hope you brush your teeth. Hehe snort.

Mom was watching the lier too. She has some choice words for the TV. Plus this loser lives in Austin, Geeze.

Hugs,
Suki

Mubi Chitose said...

Puglet, you need to join the 12 steps program, PEA (poo eaters anonymous). Please get help!

Meredith LeBlanc said...

Well, clearly, Puglet, its not your fault. If peeps leave the poo, someone has to clean it up! But really, eating poo is yucky. People should pick it up so you don't get yelled at.

We love you Poo-Breath!
Meredith & Scarlet

Lana said...

Puglet,

We like to get up close and personal with poo, like, with a magnifying glass, but we don't eat it. We like our off leash time and don't want to lose out.

What tastes better, poo or freedom, Pug?

Love always,

Satchel, Owen, and Lola

Sammy and Neko said...

Poo eater.... No thanks... I prefer bacon.
Lance? Well, it is done and nothing he can do to take back. I am ok with that. Lesson learned?

Happy weekend.

Sammy

Anonymous said...

The lesson here is STOP EATING POO!!!

Is something missing in your diet, like a vitamin or mineral that you instively know is in POO?

Maybe your human can phone the vet and ask.

In the meantime you have to try to be good!! Do you want to be in pug jail forever?

I love you no matter what you do but I also want you to stay healthy. You never know what might be in that POO.

pugtux said...

I know that POOP EATING is not supposed to be good for dogs, and it IS disgusting for your people to see, but my pug, Winston, was an avid poop eater, and he lived a very healthy SEVENTEEN years!!!

Puglet...maybe Pugs know something that people DON'T, about poop.

Jenny said...

Puglet

Don't tell your human but if you can get ahold of some goose poo it is a real pug-delicacy!

Pawed,

Abby Grapes the goose poo eater

Anonymous said...

Abby is right! Goose poop is delicious!! Bring on Spring ao the geese come back to Canada!
Pug Hugs, Winnipeg Lola

Poozles said...

Puglet, if you're not careful, it'll be a leash and a MUZZLE! Then you won't be able to consume any truly yummy treats.

Anonymous said...

Puglet, Maybe you are not perfect but this picture sure is. love you!

Anonymous said...

Puglet, I'm not a poo-eater...I'm a puke eater so I get it. My fur brother (I think he's a cat?) pukes when he eats too fast and if my human doesn't get to it before me, I chomp it right up. Yum. Then my mom doesn't want me to kiss her????

I'm number 324 and don't care if it takes 10 years to get my pics, just want to see your human healthy and happy :)
Yoda from Minnesota

Anonymous said...

i can totally relate re the pug eating poo thing. oh and nice we have a little bunny that lives in the back yard so now all 3 of ours eat rabbit poo.

Sabrina said...

Beulah is not only a poo eater, she is a poo roller! She starts with sniffing, then eating, then rolling if it is really good, stinky poo! Your human should be glad that most of the poo just goes inside you rather than on you!

Anonymous said...

Be careful Pug, your human may put that beekeepers mask on you!! Then you will look really silly. My sister Molly is a poo eat too & big sis Cleo is a poo roller, just like Beulah. My humans get soooo angry with them >:\ especially Cleo since she is so big & hairy its hard to get her into the tub!

Frodo

Amy said...

Dear puglet,

I'm sorry that there aren't more responsible pet owners out there that clean up after their pets. Maybe one day the humans will learn!

Sue McGee said...

Yeah, Puglet, poop eating is pretty gross. We know about it at our house because my "sister" Lucy does it. Makes me glad we're not really related. Our mommy fed us pumpkin (YUMMY!) to keep Lucy from eating her or my poop but when we moved to our new house that didn't keep her from eating the deer poop that's always in our yard. So she did some research on the interwebs and some people think dogs eat poop because they're missing nutrients in their diet-so now Mommy puts that powdered vitamin stuff they advertise on the radio on our food and that seems to be helping Lucy be not so interested in poop.

Sue McGee said...

Sorry, my Mommy (the thumbs) hit publish before I finished my thoughts. She also put us on a different diet, one with no kibble (too many carbs, she says) just home cooked food, which is WAY yummier. Hope this helps a little, dude, you gotta get off the poo train!
Your friend,
C. Penfold McGee

Kerry Fountain said...

Oohh I agree with all the others who enjoy deer and bunny poo....it is the absolute best. My mom got rid of the bunnies and they put a fence around the garden so the deer poo doesn't show up too often but whenever it does.....I grab it as quickly as possible. I don't want to share with that "sister" of mine (she isn't a pug so it is hard to count her but she would grab yummy stuff from me).

Clarabelle (who is currently freezing in Michigan!)

Paula from DE said...

I hope you are not blog absent because of some punishment for grossness.