Wednesday, January 30, 2013
You've probably noticed my life has been ridiculously boring lately. I mean, why else would I talk about eating and sleeping and poo so much? Well, I mentioned this to my human last night and she said I was right.
Bacon = yes. Puglet = right.
Sometimes my human can be so smart! She can also be superstupid. Because somehow she thought life is boring meant drag Dutch + Pug out of a warm bed before the sun is awake, pile them into the back of Mazda and drive off into the darkness. The freezing cold darkness.
Yep. That's pretty much exactly what happened this morning.
Don't get too excited though. We only went for a hike with the cows. Not exactly exciting but better than boring. The cows have been busy making babies (and pies) so I ate pies. Pies are cool. I saw a coyote. Cool. When the sun woke up it got nice and warm. Cool. I mean warm? Whatever.
Anyway. Everything was cool until Dutch almost got us killed. Yes, killed. By a mob of angry momma cows. He'll probably say it was my fault but I swear I did nothing wrong. There was a baby cow standing there in the middle of the trail. He looked kinda fun so I tried to play with him. Maybe I barked a little. Big deal. I was on a leash. The baby cow was not. He could have run away if he wanted to.
Then there was Dutch. Running around like a headless chicken because cows are soooo scary. This is when things got not so cool. Because of course momma cows don't know Dutch is a total wuss. Or that he's slinking around like a freaking cheetah because he's terrified of cows. Nope. They think he's going to eat their babies.
The thing about momma cows is they kinda stick together. So if one of them wants to kill you for stalking their baby like a freaking cheetah, they all do. Google says it's because they're herd animals. All I know is it means we were totally outnumbered today, like 5 angry momma cows to 1.
My human didn't get the whole not-so-cool cow moment on video because we had to run away. Like RUN. But if you listen close, you can hear a whole lot of angry mooing coming from the herd of angry momma cows running across the hill to come kill us.