Thursday, January 24, 2013
I don't know what's up with my human. She keeps getting our days mixed up. Do you know how hard it is to be freaking DAILY when your thumbs don't even know what day it is??
The only thing worse than losing days (besides the taste of the new nasty apple food) is what happened last night.
Ok. Uhm. So. Sometimes my human doesn't really sleep. And lately she's been not really sleeping a lot. When this happens, she listens to some dude talk when we go to bed. The dude has a funny accent and says stuff like breeeeathe and reeeeeelax. He also counts to five and talks about the english countryside and flowers.
Anyway. Google says the dude is supposed to help my human sleep and I guess it works because every time he talks she is O-U-T out in like a minute. Unless I'm snoring. Then things get kinda ugly.
HUMAN: Puuuuuug! Stop snoring!
My human says it's impossible to breeeeathe and reeeeeelax if I'm snoring like a lumberjack. She tried wearing headphones to block me out but I guess they strangled her to death or something when she was asleep. So now she just yells at me to stop.
Well, last night I started to snore when the dude was counting or whatever. And when yelling at me didn't work, my human totally freaked. Next thing you know, I'm on the couch. Yeah. The couch. I didn't just get kicked out of bed -- I got kicked out of the entire freaking room.
My human filled the couch with blankets and stuff and made Dutch go with me, even though he has a snout and doesn't snore. And I guess I didn't exactly lose any sleep or anything. But still. So not cool. I mean, has anyone here ever had to sleep alone? On a couch?
I deserve some serious sympathy bacon for this one.