Wednesday, July 14, 2010

SERIOUSLY EXCITING NEWS

Before moving on to PHASE TWO: interrogation scene, I thought it'd be a good idea to ask Google what the best way to interrogate is. Y'know, since I've never technically interrogated anyone before and my Cheeto-Face doesn't make my human melt the way it used to.

Most of Google's interrogation techniques are waaa
ay too complicated for a pug with no thumbs to pull off. Except for one: sleep deprivation. Having Frank around makes this technique very easy because his snoring and our midnight wrestling-sessions are already depriving my human of sleep. She won't suspect a thing!

The only thing about sleep deprivation is it takes time, so the interrogation scene won't be happening for a few more days. But
I do have some seriously exciting news that you don't have to wait until later to hear. Ready? OK, here it is:

I am officially no longer fat!

That's right. The big fat souvenir from my stay at the House of Meat has been hiked out and starved off of me. And according to the official Pet Smart weigh-in scale, I am now a very slim 24.6 lbs. Woo Hoo!

Since I'm so far below the magic 25lb mark, I thought my human would let me pick out a whole bunch of new treats. But I thought wrong. Even though I'm skinny and made all sorts of begging faces, I was only allowed to get one treat. And it had to be low-fat.

Wah.

My human is totally going to regret this decision when it's time for the interrogation scene.

15 comments:

Yoda & Brutus said...

ooooh, sleep deprivation should work!! If she starts sleeping through your wrestling matches, start licking something - anything, this always seems to wake our mom up. Make sure you stay out of arms length so she has to get up to make you stop licking :)

Pugs & Kisses,

Yoda & Brutus

agent99 said...

Congrats Puglet. Now you can be leam & mean for the....interrogation!

Good Luck!

Gen & Lefty

Anonymous said...

Puglet, you and Frank should gang up on your human for the interrogation. You can both bully her, or play good cop, bad cop. With two pugs at work I'm sure you'll have her completely.

Ollie said...

Puglet,
You & Frank look like you're both ready to rumble and cause a whole mess of trouble for your sleep deprived human.
Now that you guys have teamed up as a pair of secret agents, you may want to consider breaking into the snack cupboard and liberating a few snacks. Interrogations are hard work and you may need some cookies to sustain you.
Another way of getting valuable information from your human to is to hypnotize her. Not only will she tell you everything you want to know but you could also get her to do stuff like go to Popeye's and bring home nuggets (and not just the snack pack either!).

Kimmy B said...

Farting is a show stopper at our house. My Forever Mom & Dad will be all comfy and resting, sometimes really sleeping. I let out a little bubble of gas and they start talking loud and making accusations while they are waving their hands... usually I end up outside. But anything to get her attention ! Time is of the essence! There is power in numbers! So use Frank while he's still there. There is always negotiations in any dispute. Tell you human that you will give up cowpies for..say, 3 months if she talks. OR, every time she walks in the room you can be exercising: leg lifts (without the pee), sit ups (with you flat on your back , Frank can hold down your back paws for stability), bicep curls (with bundled bull penises) or the ole' tail chaser is a good workout. Good Luck! Did the new Henrietta arrive yet? Your pal, Tink

Bellatrix- I'm a pug! said...

Congrats on the weight loss Pug! With Frank around you're going to get tons of exercise too, maybe you'll get sooooo thin you're mom will have to give you high fat treats!! Ones you can only drool over, ones that have whip cream and sprinkles...oh...sorry lost myself there. Alas, I'm still on my "diet". Sigh...you look amazing Pug! I'm happy you've got Frank over and try to let your mom sleep, or she may never allow Frank over again.

THE PUGLET said...

Ooooooooh - liberating the treat cupboard! I like the sound of that!! Smart thinking Ollie :)

Noodle said...

Dude, congratulations!! That's quite an accomplishment. If you can succeed in your weight loss, I'm sure you'll be successful in your interrogation. Good luck!

TLO said...

Puglet, you look positively svelte!! Congrats! :)
Oh, and we're dying to see some Puggy video action soon. Flora has been harassing me to ask you about it. ;)

Tiffany

Emily Steffen Photography said...

WOW! Puglet.....that is FABULOUS news...I couldn't be more happy for you that you are no longer fat. Now, pass along your secrets to Edward the pug because he isn't getting many treats right now either because of his...ehhhem...weight problem! :)

HIGH fives to you Puglet! :)

Stubby said...

Hi Puglet! I'm so glad all the tubiness is gone. It's not good to be all fat and full of cellulite, just ask my mom.

I think the plan of sleep deprivation is brilliant. You and Franks will have her wishing she could leave you and go to a hotel to get some sleep in no time.

Stubby xoxo

THE PUGLET said...

Yeah, being tubey isn't as cool as not being tubey because when you're tubey, you don't get to eat as much.

I'm pretty Phoebe + Zoey + their awesome human are partly to thank for my new&improved svelteness. They made a whole bunch of supertasty magic low-fat pumpkin cookies for my birthday. I ate at least one (or three if my human wasn't paying attention) each day and my fatness went away like magic!

Sequoia & Petunia said...

Puglet this is great news!!! Maybe a few more days with Frank around you can loose another pound and get those yummy full fat treats!!

Good luck with phase 2!

Anonymous said...

Make her regret it Puglet, make her regret it! lol

3pugs2luv said...

We're glad the cookies were successful. We were very sad to hear you were treat deprived, so we just had to do something about it. Now you can have anything you want...bring on the booty.
Our human is like yours & listens to a lot of NPR & Zoey remembers something about a Geneva invention that makes sleep deprivation illegal. So if you must, we would keep it quiet. But sometimes a pug must do what a pug must do. Can't wait to hear what you learn next.
Luv, Zoey & Phoebe