HOLY COCONUTS

COCONUT #2

Ok. See that brown hairy thing in the picture? Hello. I mean the one with the crooked smile and beady little eyes. That's me in the background. The other thing is a coconut.

I've pretty much given up on bacon ever happening, so I get kinda excited whenever my human brings home any kind of new food. You never know what might fall on the floor. Or accidentally get sucked off the table when no one's looking.

Twice a week we walk to the Asian market so my human can buy her stupid vegetables. Weird nasty stuff like kabocha, jicama and kale. Seriously. The inside of our refrigerator looks like a farm. Dutch likes to eat kabocha guts (technical term: seeds) but I totally hate all of them.

Well, last week my human got one of her vegetables wrong. She meant to get jicama (aka ICKama) but grabbed a coconut instead. Uhm. Yeah. She must have been extra-gimpy that day because coconuts are big and hairy and full of water and look NOTHING like ickamas:

COCONUT vs. ICKAMA

We've never had a coconut in our house before. I think it smelled kinda funny. Dutch thought it was a toy and rolled it down the stairs. My human thought it was a freaking ickama - enough said. So we asked Google what to do with it.

1. poke eyes out with a large nail (!!!!)
2. let the insides drain out
3. bake in oven for 15 minutes
4. whack with hammer
5. whack again
6. keep whacking
7. when coconut cracks open, stop whacking
8. peel and eat

The poke eyes out with a nail part kinda freaked me out and Dutch was afraid of all the whacking. My human says whacking something with a hammer "actually feels kinda good", but she's a freak.

Anyway. When it was all over, we ate coconut. Holy tasty! Not bacon-tasty, but waaaay tastier than anything we've had around here in like forever. The best part? Google says coconut isn't just tasty - it's good for you too. The whole eye poking/whacking thing is kinda weird, but the eating part is totally worth the weirdness.

I asked my human if we could add coconuts the list of stupid vegetables to buy and she said yes (it helps that you can buy a whole entire coconut and all its goodness for like 50 cents). Wooot! Coconuts are officially in.

We bought coconut #2 yesterday. I can't wait until my human pokes out its eyes.