Thanks to destiny and the genius of my super-smart friends, I really am going to fly.
OK. So first Rosie The Party Pug suggested skydiving. And I thought that sounded pretty great, but my human said no way. She's afraid jumping out of a plane might bring on another heart attack and I can't bring myself to tell her that I faked the first one just to save my boy parts. If she knew the truth, she'd kill me.
Luckily I have more than one genius friend! Little spotted Miley came up with another idea: flying in a hot air balloon. I thought using a balloon to fly sounded kinda sketchy and didn't really think my human would go for it. But my human is full of surprises. Turns out she flew in a hot air balloon at a festival in some place called Albuquerque once and thinks that would be perfect way for me to fly. No kidding.
I looked at some of my human's pictures from the festival in Albuquerque and there were a ton of really cool balloons. I kinda thought balloons were just round things, but a lot of these were definitely not round. There was a pink elephant. A flower. A cow. A turtle. Bees. And Jesus.
I have to admit, Jesus the hot air balloon kinda scares me. But the pair of bees holding hands? I LOVE them. My human said of all 700 balloons she saw at the festival, the bees were her #1 favorite (says they just made her feel happy). So get this - there's a balloon festival next month just a few hours away from San Francisco and when we went to the festival's website to check the dates, guess what we found. Yup - the bees. Fate has made sure the bees are going to be there!
Now all I have to do is convince the bees to let me fly with them.