Monday, May 5, 2014
So yesterday I found this thing on the floor. It wasn't the kitchen floor, but I still thought (hoped) the thing might be eatable. I mean, when it doubt, eat it. Right?
At least if you're me. If you're my human, you freak the heck out.
HUMAN: PUG! EW. NOOO! DON'T!
ME: I just wanted a little taste (a lie)
HUMAN: do you know what that is?
ME: uhm, no. That's why I wanted to taste it.
Duh. How am I supposed to know what the thing is without tasting it? I might be a genius but I'm not a mind reader or whatever.
HUMAN: well, it's a tick. And it's gross.
ME: you mean those little blood sucker things?
HUMAN: yes. That red stuff is blood.
ME: ooooh. I wonder who it sucked??
While my human was busy going haz-mat on the floor, I got to thinking about whose blood would taste the best. Google says you are what you eat and me and Dutch eat dog food. His is chicken and mine is beef, but it's still dog food. I already know what that tastes like.
If my human was a normal human her blood would probably taste awesome. But she eats way too many vegetables and weird stuff like seaweed. And she thinks bacon is nasty. Her blood probably tastes worse than dog food. Seriously. Seaweed?
Well, I didn't get a chance to taste any of the blood so I guess we'll never know what it tasted like. Sigh. Guess I better get back to the bacon strike...