HEAR DOGGY

Dutch does this thing where he runs around the house squeaking a squeaky toy like a complete freak. It usually happens early in the morning and drives my human (and probably our downstairs neighbors) nuts. 

DUTCH: squeaky squeaky squeeeeek! squeaky squeaky squeeeeek!

HUMAN: Dutch! Shhhhh.

DUTCH: squeaky squeak.

HUMAN: Dutch!

Annoying as it is, it's not Dutch's fault his squeaky toys make noise. I mean, that's what they do. And I guess my human felt bad about getting mad at him for squeaking because she came up with a solution: Hear Doggy silent squeakers.

Ok, so maybe it was Google or Miley's mom who came up with the idea. Whatever. It meant new toys for both of us. Dutch got a red thing that looks kinda like a stomach and I got a little blue dude with a giant head and even bigger eyes. My human said it reminded her of me.

Anyway. The only thing I don't like about getting a new toy is having to sit there and wait while my human points Steve at me and the new thing I'm dying to play with. You know I like to pose and everything, but toys are for playing - not posing.

Still, I let my human take two whole pictures before snatching the blue dude out of her hand. That pretty much put an end to the pictures.

HUMAN: can you hear it?
ME: hear what?
HUMAN: the squeaking.
ME: huh?
HUMAN: the toy. Does it squeak???

Hello. It's a squeaky toy. What the heck else would it do?? That's when my human tried to explain dog hearing vs people hearing and how these special toys can, quote, only be heard by ears that actually enjoy the hideous sound of a squeaker. 

Uhm. OK. I have no idea if that's true because my little blue dude and Dutch's weird stomach-looking thing sound like every other squeaker toy I've ever had. The only thing I don't hear when we play with them is the sound of my human whisper-yelling at Dutch to stop squeaking his freaking toys so early in the morning.