So I've been having this ongoing debate with my human about my diet. It goes something like:
me: can you please buy me some Popeye's fried chicken?
me: but my friend Stubby gets to eat it all the time. And bacon too.
Human: maybe you should go live with Stubby then.
me: but it gets cold where he lives.
Human: maybe that's why Stubby gets to eat fried chicken and bacon.
I've been campaigning for fried, meaty snacks for WEEKS now. But all we ever get is carrots, asparagus, apples and the occasional snout, hoof or freeze-dried bull penis. My human says it's because brother Dutch is a dalmatian and dalmatians can get kidney stones if they eat too much meaty stuff. Or something like that.
Well, my human must have been in a good mood from winning the Hansen's contest because when she was leaving to go to dinner last night I asked if she'd bring me back something from the restaurant. Sure, she said. Really??
I couldn't believe it. All my other friends get 'doggy bags' when their humans go out to restaurants, but my human never brings anything home for us. Ever. The whole time she was gone, I tried to imagine what she'd be bringing home for us to eat. Popeyes? Bacon? Some other kind of meat I've never heard of, let alone eaten?
But no. She brought me this. It smelled a little like that crab I ate at the beach, only less flavorful, with a very strong aroma of... kelp (something I also ate at the beach once).
me: what is it?
Human: sushi! It's YUMMY!
me: is it meaty?
Human: I think there's some crab in it. See - right next to the avocado, carrots and cucumber.
me: oh. why does it smell like kelp then?
Human: good nose, Puglet! There's seaweed in there too. Seaweed is a lot like like kelp. It's what holds the sushi roll together.
Not to sound ungrateful or anything, but I can't believe I've waited my whole entire life for a doggy bag... and my human brings home stuff I eat at the beach all the time.