Wednesday, September 23, 2009


So I've been having this ongoing debate with my human about my diet. It goes something like:

me: can you please buy me some Popeye's fried chicken?
Human: no.
me: but my friend Stubby gets to eat it all the time. And bacon too.
Human: maybe you should go live with Stubby then.
me: but it gets cold where he lives.
Human: maybe that's why Stubby gets to eat fried chicken and bacon.

I've been campaigning for fried, meaty snacks for WEEKS now. But all we ever get is carrots, asparagus, apples and the occasional snout, hoof or freeze-dried bull penis. My human says it's because brother Dutch is a dalmatian and dalmatians can get kidney stones if they eat too much meaty stuff. Or something like that.

Well, my human must have been in a good mood from winning the Hansen's contest because when she was leaving to go to dinner last night I asked if she'd bring me back something from the restaurant. Sure, she said. Really??


I couldn't believe it. All my other friends get 'doggy bags' when their humans go out to restaurants, but my human never brings anything home for us. Ever. The whole time she was gone, I tried to imagine what she'd be bringing home for us to eat. Popeyes? Bacon? Some other kind of meat I've never heard of, let alone eaten?

But no. She brought me this. It smelled a little like that crab I ate at the beach, only less flavorful, with a very strong aroma of... kelp (something I also ate at the beach once).

me: what is it?
Human: sushi! It's YUMMY!
me: is it meaty?
Human: I think there's some crab in it. See - right next to the avocado, carrots and cucumber.
me: oh. why does it smell like kelp then?
Human: good nose, Puglet! There's seaweed in there too. Seaweed is a lot like like kelp. It's what holds the sushi roll together.

Not to sound ungrateful or anything, but I can't believe I've waited my whole entire life for a doggy bag... and my human brings home stuff I eat at the beach all the time.


Stubby said...

Hi Puglet! I can't believe your human brought you sushi - yuk! I don't eat that stuff because it's not meaty. Tell your human to bring you some real food. Better yet, I will send some to you so that you and Dutch can chow down.

Maybe I do eat Popeyes and bacon because it gets cold here. I never really thought about it before but it does make sense despite the fact that I eat it year round.

Stubby xoxo

Pee-s: Dad yelled at me when he read your post because he told me I was a bad influence on you. Moi?

THE PUGLET said...

I KNOW!! She said there was crab in it, but I don't think crab counts as meaty.

Do you think they make bacon sushi?

PS> Your dad is totally wrong. You are enlightening me! I've never been outside of California and you're expanding my horizons by telling me about your local cuisine and stuff. How else would I know there's more to life than sushi??

Sabrina said...

I laughed my head off when I read this! My pug Beulah loves when veggies miraculously fall from the heavens when i cook, but she would certainly prefer that it was fried chicken!

Rosie the Party Pug said...

Once in a while we get pizza crusts...but otherwise its the usual treats from the big treat holder on the counter. It's for the best in the long run, I need to watch my girlish figure :-)

THE PUGLET said...

Beulah would love it around here - my human drops vegetables ALL THE TIME. She says I do a good job of keeping the kitchen floor clean. I wish I could clean up some fried chicken!

Pizza crusts sound good. We don't get to eat them either. I almost had a bagel once. I "forgot" to chew and started choking real bad so my human had to do the doggy-heimlich to get the bagel out. She threw the dead bagel away & I wasn't allowed to try a second time.