After hearing the news about my tubey-ness, my human suggested we go for a long walk. So we headed over the bridge to hike with the cows. My spotted friends Boka and Miley came along too.
I was super excited to have Boka and Miley along, but not nearly as excited as brother Dutch. He was acting all goofy and weird. Really weird. Especially towards Miley. He kept uh, you know, humping her. He got so crazy and excited that he confused Boka with Miley and humped Boka by mistake... on the head! It was totally embarrassing.
ME: dude, what's your malfunction?
DUTCH: Miley is hot!
DUTCH: you know, she's in heat
DUTCH: she wants to make babies
ME: how do you know?
Dutch was too busy humping everyone to explain anything to me so I asked my human what on earth he was talking about. She kinda laughed, then started babbling about birds and bees. I have no idea what birds or bees have to do with Miley being hot and wanting to make babies. Or with Dutch trying to hump everybody.
Who wants to talk about bees when there are fresh babycow-pies to eat? Boka and Miley had never eaten fresh babycow-pies before and said they tasted superyummy. We got yelled at. We got called "pooh-eaters". But we still kept on eating. And eating. And eating...
Until Boka decided it wasn't enough just to eat the babycow-pies - he had to roll in them too. That's when our humans lost it, broke out the leashes and put a quash on the pie eating :(
So FYI - it's semi-OK to eat pooh, but totally NOT OK to roll in it.