On Friday I went to the vet for my annual check-up. The doctor listened to my heart, looked in my ears and mouth, then stuck something up my butt. I didn't mind the looking or the listening, but I wasn't a huge fan of the sticking-up-the-butt part.
When it was over I got a cookie and a lecture. Actually my human got the lecture, but it was about me. Or parts of me anyway. The doctor said we need to keep a close eye on two things: my teeth and my weight.
I don't know about you, but I hate toothbrushes. I mean, they're fun to chew on but the whole brushing thing kinda sucks. Those little finger-brushy things are even worse because they're not even good for chewing on. So I try to discourage my human from going near my teeth by squirming a lot whenever she tries. The vet said she needs to try harder.
As for my weight... At 25.1 pounds, the doctor said I'm starting to look a little tubular. Tubular? My human explained that 'tubular' is the same as tube-y, which is what she calls dogs who don't have waists. She says when a dog is shaped like a tube, it means they need to eat less.
Eat less??? Me?
No Popeyes? No pie? No cheetos??? No way. Life would not be the same with less food in it. I begged my human not to take my food away and asked if there's something else we can do to make me less tubey.
Exercise, she said. If you won't eat less, you have to move more.
Well, DUH. I'd so rather move more than eat less! I haven't gotten any of my Christmas goodies yet, so my human said I could wait until the New Year to start my new exercise routine. She says that's when lots of people start walking off their tubey-ness.