FLAT ME GOES TO MUNDELEIN!

Don't worry - I promise this isn't going to turn into the Daily Flat Puglet. But whenever someone from here on the blog hosts a visit, I totally have to tell you all about it. Especially when the visit makes my human laugh so hard she sounds like a pug on a hot summer day.

So here's what the flat me did during his visit with Stubby (hi Stubby!) in Mundelein, IL:

Flat Puglet arrived today and I was so excited to greet him at the mailbox!

He arrived the morning after a snowstorm. Mom wanted Flat Puglet and I to make snow angels but we really understand how to make them so she made one instead. Flat Puglet then decided he wanted to be part of the snow angel and plopped himself down!

Mom took Flat Puglet to work with her. She works at the College of Lake County Writing Center. Flat Puglet welcomed students into the Center with his super cute expression!

Mom took Flat Puglet to the grocery store (I am not allowed in the store so I stayed home). Flat Puglet was instantly drawn to the asparagus display at the front of the store. Mom thought maybe he was hungry after his long journey when he hopped out of the cart and into the asparagus!

Flat Puglet mysteriously disappeared while Mom was checking out the broccoli. After searching the produce section she found him.... HA! to find out where Flattie me was hiding, please go to his post on flatpuglet.com!

(Sorry to do this, but for the FPP to work, we need to get some community going over there too -- thanks for the extra clicking!!!)

Thanks Stubby & your human for an extrasuperspecial visit!!!

MY LIFE IN SIX WORDS

Whenever we're in the car, my human makes us listen to NPR (National Public Radio). Sometimes it's boring, but she says it's good for you. Like exercise. And vegetables. And, uh, fiber?

I have to admit, when NPR isn't being boring, it can be pretty interesting. The other day I learned there's a ginormous ant colony that starts in Oregon (home of Jenny The Pug) and goes all the way down to Mexico. The colony has gotten so huge because all the ants in it are so closely related, they don't fight and kill their neighbors like other other ants do. Or something like that.

Anyway.

This morning they were talking about this thing called a six word memoir. Google says memoir is just a fancy Frenchy word for life's story, and with only six words it's kinda like Haiku... and very multum in parvo*. Perfect for pugs. And other doggies too!

So today I'm taking a break from Flat Puglet to work on my six word memoir. My human says my life in six words should be:

MOUTH NEVER EMPTY, STOMACH NEVER FULL

What would yours be?

--
*Pugs have been described as multum in parvo ("much in little"), referring to the Pug's big personality and small size

FASTER THAN A SPEEDING COW

When I'm not busy blogging, posing for pictures or trying to save the world's homeless dogs, I like to relax by eating, sleeping or playing. And one of my #1 favorite kinds of playing is hiking with the cows that live over on the other side of the bay.

It's not so much the hiking that I like. I mean, hike is just a fancy word for walk and I walk all the time. What I really like about hiking is all the stuff you can do while you're doing it. Like eat cow pies. And play with cows.



At least I try to play with the cows. I usually end up doing most of the playing while they just stare at me and moo. Dog-moves like play bows and woo-woos don't seem to have any effect on cows and since I don't speak Moo, I have no idea why. But, whatever. As long as the cows keep making pies, they can stand around and moo all they want.

* * *

PS >> Check out Flat Puglet's very first post over @ flatpuglet.com!

WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF

Some days (ok, most days) I don't have much going on. But today I have a whole bunch of stuff to share.

First - I got an email from Hope the pug! You remember her, the pug with the hurt eye who got left tied to a vet's office? No offense to Jenny, but hearing from Hope was like the highlight of my year. She's been adopted by a family who must already love her a ton because they got her a new blog and everything. If you have a minute, head over and say hi: http://hopethepug.blogspot.com/.

I also totally forgot to tell you about meeting Antigone the Basset Hound. We met her and her human over at the Golden Gate Bridge when they pedaled into town from Chicago. The fog was so thick, we didn't get to do a picture of them riding across the bridge, but we did hang out and snack for awhile.

I can't tell you how nice Antigone the Basset is. Even though I hogged the snacks, she let me sit in The Contraption and everything. I mean, if I had a contraption, I wouldn't let some dog I barely knew anywhere near, let alone in, it. Especially if the dog was a snack hog.

The last thing is news about Flat Puglet. A few flatties have already landed at their first destination and are busy scaring the bejesus out of innocent host pugs (sorry Spencer B - the flat me freaked brother Dutch out too). A second batch will go out today and then my human will have more time to work on the FPP website.

I don't normally get excited about stuff like websites, but flatpuglet.com is SUPER cool. The posts about his travels look like postcards and all of FP's visits will be shown on a map. You'll even be able to track the travels of each FP to see where they end up (technical term: a journey map).

My human says flatpuglet.com is only about halfway done and will have a LOT more info about rescues (and fewer typos) by the time we start hearing back from FP hosts. It will look a lot better when there are actual visits posted -- but I can't wait until then to share... so check it out now and let me know what you think :)

A PUG THING?

This is one of those times when I confess to doing something weird, ask you all if it's normal, and hope to find I'm not the only one.

So... does anyone else here have, uh, issues with animals on the TV? Like, you attack any non-human being that comes on the screen? It totally drives my human nuts, but I just can't help it.

It started with dogs. I didn't like them coming into my living room so I tried to scare them away by throwing myself at the TV. It worked, so I moved on to other things. Birds. Hippos. Horses. That creepy talking lizard on the Geico commercial. The Nasonex bee (I reeeeally hate the bee).

I love humans so I don't bark at them (except for the time I accidentally attacked John Malkovich's head). But any non-human better stay off my TV if it knows what's good for it.

Brother Dutch thinks I'm a complete freak and my human doesn't understand how a cartoon bee, hippo and dog can have anything in common (or why any of them warrant an attack). Am I a freak? Or is this just another one of those weird pug things??

WARM, FUZZY, SUPERHAPPY

When I first came up with the idea for Daily Puglet, my human was skeptical. She said blogs are "soooo self-indulgent". When Google told me self-indulgent means excessive indulgence of one's own appetites and desires, I didn't see any problem with that. I mean - Hello!!! I AM a pug.

But my human still wasn't into the whole blog thing. She thought I'd run out of things to talk about or her gimpy brain would forget stuff. But here we are, almost a year later, and I'm still talking.

And you are still listening!

The best part is that my human was totally wrong about blogs being soooo self-indulgent. Ok, sometimes I might get kinda fixated on stuff like flying or Jenny or food. But most of the time this isn't all about me. At least I don't think it is. And it makes me all warm and fuzzy and super happy to have such an extrasuperspecial pack of friends like you.

Thanks for coming :)

TEAM FLAT PUGLET

Putting together the Flat Puglets took a little longer than we thought it would... but the herd of Flat Puglets has finally left the nest. Brother Dutch is pretty happy about that. I think having so many mees around was kinda starting to freak him out.

Some of you might recognize Flat Puglet from the cuteness contest. My human couldn't decide which picture of me would make the best Flat Puglet ever, so she went with the one you all voted the most cutest (except the FP one has a chin). I kinda think it works, don't you? The squealing people at the photo place definitely thought so.

Flat Puglet is now in the hands of the post office people. They'll be delivering him to towns in AZ, CA, CO, IN, IL, MA, NV, NY, NJ, OR, TX, UT, VA, England and Canada. If you didn't already volunteer to host a Flat Puglet, it's not too late. My human says anyone here who wants a visit from the flat me will totally get one (she made a few extras just to travel around our blog circle). Just email me dailypuglet (at) gmail.com and we'll add you to FP's itinerary thingy.

I'm superexcited about The Flat Puglet Project. Not only does the flat me make humans squeal, but he also has an official story, this cool logo (made from a picture for a blog post I did about recycled dogs) and will soon have a superspecial website where you can read about his travels and get info about recycled dogs.

There's still a lot of work to do & some stuff to figure out - but look out world, here comes Flat Puglet!

MARSHALL, ANTIGONE + THE CONTRAPTION

I have something kinda special to talk about today. It has nothing to do with Jenny or Flat Pug or even food. Nope. It's about a man, a bike and a Basset hound. And even though the story isn't over yet, I totally suck at keeping secrets so...

Last week when all the Flat Puglet stuff started, one of Spencer B's humans sent us a news story about this guy who's riding his bike from Chicago -> San Francisco. Kinda cool, but not exactly newsworthy. Except that the guy (his name is Marshall) is doing the ride with his recycled Basset Hound (her name is Antigone) riding shotgun in a trailer (aka "the contraption").

It gets better though. Turns out Marshall is pedaling those 4,000 miles to raise awareness about rescue dogs and... suicide prevention? Yup. Because when Marshall (a Veteran/former English professor) couldn't find a job and life wasn't very happy, Antigone kept him from giving up. Like, for good.

I don't exactly know how Marshall got the idea to ride a bike halfway across the country, but I'll find out soon. We're meeting up with him & Antigone this weekend after they do a victory lap of the Golden Gate Bridge. My human offered to take some extrasuperspecial pictures of Antigone and I want to get the full scoop on their story so we can tell the world about it on flatpuglet.com (coming soon!!!).

You can read more about Marshall & Antigone: http://www.hesperiastar.com/articles/lee-3166-worker-office.html

Or check out their travel blog: http://antigonebasset.blogspot.com/

OOOH-ING AND AAWWW-ING

Yesterday was my human's special-day. Y'know, the happy one. I don't have a picture of her celebrating getting old, so I used this one of me and Dutch being silly because us being silly makes her happy.

Nothing makes my human happier than dogs. Even flat ones, I guess. Because to celebrate her day she spent a bunch of time making Flat Puglets. OK, she also went out to dinner with The Man. But she seemed more excited about sending Flat Puglet out into the world. She says it's the best birthday gift ever.

I don't really understand how giving other people Flat Puglets could be a gift. It kinda looked like work to me. But my human said dogs bring so much happiness to humans and maybe, just maybe, the Flat Puglet Project could help save some dogs.

One thing I do know is when we picked up the Flat Puglet pictures from the photo place everyone went nuts over him. Uh, me? The lady standing behind us in line squealed when my human took Flat Puglet/my picture out of the envelope. And when I say squealed, I mean like really SQUEALED.

Then the ooohing and aaawwwwing started and pretty soon I was surrounded by a crowd of squealing humans. The crazy thing is everyone was so busy swooning over Flat Puglet that no one even noticed me. There I was, in the fur, and these people were going gaga over a picture.

My human said this is a very good sign for The Flat Puglet Project.

I HEART YOU

I hope everyone's Valentine's Day was full of love. My human said it should be the official day of pugs because pugs love love.

(almost as much as we love food)

I heard somewhere that you're not supposed to kiss and tell. But since I don't even live in the same state as Jenny The Pug I think it's ok if I tell you what I sent her for Valentine's Day. This way she won't have to write about it on her website - one more picture of me on her friends page and I'm totally going to look like a stalker!

So first, the Haiku. It's called I Heart You.

This boy meets that girl;
Her tail curled right, like his
A sign? The heart sings.

Along with the Haiku I also sent her this pug-sized bag of Pirate's Booty. It's one of the best snacks on earth and it won't make you tubey. Not that I'd mind if Jenny got tubey. I mean, there'd just be more of her to love.

Sigh.

* * *

UPDATE: Holy hot cowpies! I just got a special tweet from Jenny. She loved my Valentine's stuff. Said it was Beautiful. Yummy. Check out the pictures on her website:

http://jennythepug.com/JennyThePug/Fun_with_Friends.html

She looks cuter than ever!!!

LOVE DAY

It's almost time for another special-day and for once I actually know what it's about.

In case you don't know, I'm talking about Valentine's Day. And Valentine's Day is all about love. If you're a human, love could come in a card. Or as flowers. Maybe even chocolate. But dogs don't care about flowers and can't eat chocolate so Valentine's Day doesn't really seem all that special.

Unless you have a friend like Stubby who organizes a doggy Valentine's card exchange!

I never thought I'd get soooo excited about something you can't eat or play with, but getting stuff in the mail is pretty cool. Our mailperson said he's never seen a dog get so much mail! I'm not allowed to open my cards until Valentine's day, but I already feel extrasuper special.

Not only did Stubby make the cards come, he also gave me a heads up on the whole Valentine's Day = love thing. And since love also = Jenny the pug, I wrote a special Valentine's Day Haiku just for her. I held off on sending a freeze-dried bullypenis, but I did send one of my other favorite snacks.

I reeeally hope the package I sent Jenny makes her feel as special as... a pug with a mouth full of Valentines cards!

GRAMPUG?

Now that my human is busy making an army of Flat Puglets, I have lots of time to think about other things. Like Jenny. And food. And pesky gray furs.

I mean, has anyone noticed what's happening on my chin? No? Well, take a closer look. There's a whole bunch of gray furs. They started showing up a few months ago and seem to be getting worse. My friend Google said you turn gray when you get older, but I'm not older yet. I haven't even made it to my second birthday!!

As soon as Brother Dutch heard gray=old, he started calling me Grampug. He's five years older than me and there's not a single gray fur on his chin. My human is, like, ancient and I don't see any gray on her either.

[note from human: wrong - it just blends in with the blonde].

Does anyone else here have the gray furs? If you've got the gray furs, were you young when they came -- or am I some kind of freak?

SPOKESPUG

At first I thought Flat Puglet would just be a cool way for all of us to connect. I thought it'd be super fun to see where he'd go and what he'd do once he got there. But some of yesterday's comments got me thinking...

What if Flat Puglet also had... a mission? Kinda like my New Year's Revolution to help pugs in need. I figure there are loads of homeless dogs out there and a lot of people don't know that recycled dogs are just as good as brand-new ones. I mean, I should know. Me and brother Dutch were both recycled and we are totally perfect.

Flat Puglet could be the spokespug for recycled dogs!

He could spread the word, y'know, like a virus. But cuter. And flat. It doesn't even matter that Flat Puglet can't actually talk. He just needs to go lots of places and get people's attention.

The thing is, it'd probably take forever for Flat Puglet to get the world's attention. So I'm thinking what we reeeally need is a TEAM of Flat Puglets. Luckily, a whole bunch of you have already volunteered to help Flat Puglet see the world. As soon as my human is done fighting with the laminator thingy, a whole herd of Flat Puglets will be unleashed.

I cannot wait to see what the flat me gets up to!

---
Anyone here who wants a visit from Flat Puglet will get one! Just email your address to me dailypuglet (at) gmail.com and promise to follow these "rules":

- take a picture of Flat Puglet in a foreign land (uh, your town)
- write something about Flat Puglet's visit
- mail Flat Puglet to a friend who will do the same

If you have no idea who Flat Puglet is, read yesterday's post :)

FLAT PUGLET

Have you ever heard of Flat Stanley? My cousin Sophie told me about him. Stanley started out as a character in a children's book (he got flat when a blackboard fell on him) but is now a world-famous international traveler because of The Flat Stanley Project.

A third grade teacher in Canada started The Flat Stanley Project to get kids interested in letter-writing. It kinda works like this: A Flat Stanley cutout visits a school. The kids treat Flat Stanley like a guest. They take him places, do cool things with him and maybe even give him tasty snacks. Then the kids write about Flat Stanley's visit, take some pictures and mail him off to his next adventure.

Flat Stanley has visited 47 countries and has been photographed with presidents and famous people. Hmmmm....

Genius idea: how about a Flat Puglet?

Flat Puglet could visit foreign lands like Canada. Or New Jersey. He could go to Chicagoland and share Popeyes with Stubby. Or maybe Portland, where Jenny the pug lives. Flat Puglet could also be photographed with famous people. He could become famous and use that fame to save pugs!

Besides, a lot of you live really far away - this could be the only way I'll ever get to visit you. So if you think this sounds as cool as I do...

Email your name & mailing address to: dailypuglet(at)gmail.com

We'll mail a Flat Puglet to the first address we get. Everyone else will be added to a list of hosts. My human will send each host the address of the next host on the list.

A Flat Puglet host promises to:

- take a picture of Flat Puglet in a foreign land (uh, your town)
- tell us something Flat Puglet's visit
- mail Flat Puglet on to the next host

My human will post the pictures & stories for all to enjoy. Kinda cool, huh?

PURGATORY?

We usually go for a really long walk first thing in the morning. But not today. Today my human rushed us to the park for a pee, dumped some food in our bowls and made a break for the door. When I asked where she was going, y'know what she said?

"Purgatory. And no, you can't come."

Then she left. Just like that. Without me and Dutch. I hate when my human goes new places without us. I always feel like I'm missing out on something. Sometimes she'll come home smelling like other dogs too and that kinda freaks me out.

So I asked Google about this purgatory place and got a bunch of different answers:

* a ski resort in Colorado
* a golf course in Indiana
* a place or state of temporary suffering or misery

I don't think my human is golfing or skiing and I hope she isn't suffering or in misery. Uhm, have any of your humans ever gone to purgatory? Have you ever gone there? I mean, do they even allow dogs?? I'm seriously wondering why me & Dutch weren't allowed to go.

REVOLUTION #5

I'm probably not supposed to make a New Year's revolution a month into the new year... but I don't always do what I'm supposed to. Like yesterday at the park when I found a puddle of puke and my human told me not to eat it but I ate it anyway. Sometimes you just have to follow your heart.

So I'm adding a new revolution to my list:

Revolution #5: in 2010 I will listen to my heart.

It started with Jenny the pug. Her videos made me feel good inside so I sent her a Henrietta rubberchicken and an i-might-kinda-love-you poem. I was worried she might think I was an internet stalker, but followed my heart and did it anyway. And you know what happened? Jenny the pug put my picture on her website! She might even like me.

Then when I got that email about Hope the rescued pug, my heart told me to share the news. So I did. And some of your hearts told you to give Hope your cookie money. So you did. Thanks to everyone's donations, Hope is finished with surgery and doing sooooo much better.

See how this heart thing works??

So the other night I just couldn't stop thinking about how scared Hope must have been - hurt and alone, tied to an empty building all night. I was in a nice warm bed and just thinking about it kept me awake all night. So yesterday I followed my heart to the post office... and sent Hope a nice warm bed of her own.

My human bought the bed for me awhile ago. She took a few pictures then put it away and totally forgot to give it to me. I don't really neeeed a new bed - I can always take over (uh, I means SHARE) brother Dutch's. After all that Hope's been through, I think she deserves to be extrasuper comfortable during her recovery. And what could be more extrasuper comfortable than a new bed?

* * *

Thanks again to everyone who helped Hope's story end happy. She is doing AWESOME! The camera's flash made her eye all green and scary, but look at her happy smile! You can read the full update here on SNPR's website.

INTERVENTION

Google says the first step to overcoming an addiction is admitting you have a problem. So here goes:

My name is Puglet and I'm a rockaholic.

There. I said it. But honestly? I really don't see what the problem is. I like to eat rocks, big deal. It could be worse. Some dogs eat dog poop! I tried explaining this to my human and you know what she said? She said poop would be better than rocks.

EEEEEEW!

Gross. I told her the only poo this pug wants to eat comes out of a baby cow in the form of a pie. Anyway, so you know what my human does to stop me from eating rocks? She gets a spray bottle and squirts water at me any time I try to do it. This did nothing to stop the rock eating, but it did make me want to stay faaar away from my human.

So she came up with Plan B: a remote control collar thingy. Any time I tried to eat a rock, the collar would go BEEEP. No idea what that was supposed to accomplish. When the BEEEP didn't stop me, the collar started blasting stinky stuff in my face. It smelled like lemons and made my eyes all red and watery. The thought of hurting my eyes freaked my human out even more than my rock-eating. Bye-bye remote control collar.

We're now at Plan C: pond pebbles. These suckers are huge -!- the biggest ones at Home Depot. I tried to talk my human out of it. We already have perfectly good rocks. Don't waste your money! I told her. She says she'd rather spend money on rocks at Home Depot than at the vet for rock removal.

No idea why the vet would have to remove any rocks. My rocks always, uh, come out on their own. I know Rosie's brother Ollie has rock issues. Is anyone else here a rock eater? If so, any idea how to swallow a giant pond pebble??

* * * TAIL POLL RESULTS ARE IN * * *

Thanks everyone for sharing your tail data! Especially if you woke up from a nap to figure out which way you curl. The results of the experiment couldn't be more (or less?!?) conclusive:

BOY TAILS: 5 lefties / 5 righties
GIRL TAILS: 6 lefties / 6 righties

And then.... there's Bellatrix. Who is a boy AND a girl and curls to the right.

Approx 75% of these tails have single or single-and-then-some curls.

* 2 of the 5 non-pugs have happy tails
* 3 of the 5 non-pugs have pure white tails
* 1 of the 5 non-pugs has a heart shaped spot on his but cheek

CONCLUSION
Humans should pay more attention to the color of our sweaters than the curl of our tails. Pugs should ignore human mistakes and follow Arlo's advice: better to get petted as a she than to be ignored as a he!

TAILS

I know we've talked about humans calling us she when we're a he, or he when we're a really a she. Well, yesterday I got "she'd" again. I had my blue he-sweater on and everything but this guy still thought I was a girl.

When my human gave the guy a look that said "dude, the sweater! look at the sweater!" he didn't even apologize for she-ing me. Nope. He just started talking about my tail.

STRANGER GUY: Someone told me that boy pug tails curl left and girl pug tails curl right.
MY HUMAN: Seriously?
ME [to myself]: Are you high?
STRANGER GUY: Or maybe it's girls to the left, and boys to the right?
MY HUMAN: Uh. No idea. He's a he though.

I've sniffed a lot of pug butts and have never noticed any of this boy/girl tail-curling business. To be honest though, I'm not sure I ever really looked. Could it be true? To find out, let's be scientific and take a poll:

• Are you a he or a she?

• Does your tail curl to the right (clockwise) or left (counterclockwise) when a human looks at you from the front?

• (Optional) Just curious, do you have a single or double curl?

If you're not a pug, that's ok. Just tell us something about your tail (brother Dutch's tail is spotless; his left butt-cheek has a heart-shaped spot on it).

For the record: I am a he and curl to the right. I only have one curl - except when I get tired and then it's more like a half-curl. Kinda like a cheese doodle. But furry.

HELP FOR HOPE

* * * SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT * * *

Hey everybody, sorry for doing this to you but...

I JUST got another email about a pug in need. Serious need. I haven't broken my New Year's Revolution to help needy pugs and will be making a donation... but I haven't become famous yet and can only give so much.

I normally wouldn't ask anyone to hand over their treat money, but if you might have a few extra dollars to spare, read Hope's story. It made me, brother Dutch AND my human cry.

The photo of Hope is very terrible to look at so I made it as small as I could. If you really want to see why I'm here telling you about all this - click on the photo to see a bigger version. But don't say I didn't warn you about the leaking.

Thanks (and sorry for making everyone sad)

Hope has literally been through hell and back in the last few days. Tuesday morning Hope was found abandoned and tied to a local veterinary office. She was in shock from pain, and was barely responsive. They found she had a major eye injury leaving her eye hanging from her socket, infected, bulging, bleeding, and in need of removal before she died from the pain and infection.

If only she could tell us her story. If she could, maybe we could understand or at least try to understand how a pug ends up in the condition she was found in. How could anyone tie a pug who is suffering so badly to a door and drive away?

It is beyond comprehension to us at SNPR [Southern Nevada Pug Rescue]. Even after the hardship cases we have seen, it never gets easier knowing this type of abuse and neglect goes on [...].

At first we were quoted $3,000 dollars to save this little girl and we struggled with the thought of literally depleting our bank account to save her, or letting the vet turn her over to Animal Control which would for sure mean certain death for her.

Needless to say, we rushed over to her and got her to our vet within the hour to get her eye removed and get her on the path to recovery. Although we will receive a huge discount from our wonderful vets, we are still looking at approximately $1,500 - $2,000 to save Hope. Hope needed our help. Therefore, we need your help!

Please consider donating any amount of money you can to help SNPR treat this little pug who has been through so much. All donations are tax deductible. We will post more pictures tomorrow, and an update on how our little fighter does in surgery.

To see more pictures of Hope and to donate if you can.....

http://www.rescuepugs.com/adoptme.htm

HAIKU

Y'know, I just can't stop thinking about Jenny the pug. I've never been in love or had a girlfriend or anything so I don't really know how it works. I mean, if we really do like each other, what's supposed to happen next?

My bud Stubby (the wisest pug I know) said Valentine's Day is coming up and since it's a special-day for love, I should send Jenny something to celebrate. I'm still on the fence about getting her a freeze-dried bullypenis so early in our relationship - but since she liked my last poem, I'm definitely sending more poetry.

Trouble is, writing poetry is kinda hard. Not that hard is bad - I'd do anything for Jenny. It's just that poems are supposed to rhyme and what I want to say doesn't rhyme. And I don't want to say stuff I don't mean. Especially about love. And definitely not to Jenny.

So I asked Google for help.

GOOGLE: Have you tried Haiku?
ME: Hi-what?
GOOGLE: Haiku. It's a non-rhymed verse genre that conveys an image or feeling in three lines. The first line has 5 syllables, the second has 7 syllables and the last line has 5. Haiku should also contain a kigo, a word that represents something seasonal.
ME: Uh. Non-rhymed verse genre? Syllables? Kigo??
GOOGLE: Translation: Nothing has to rhyme. There are only a handful of words. Forget about the kigo, you're a pug.

No rhyming and few words? Sounds like perfect poetry for pugs. I just hope Jenny likes Haiku. What do you think?

My First Haiku

Poems without rhymes
sound like perfect love poems-
at least to this pug.

PUG NIGHT

In case you haven't noticed, me and Brother Dutch pretty much do everything together. We're a team. Like Batman and Robin (I'm Batman) or, uh, PB & J.

Since we're so tight, iit makes me nervous when my human splits us up. Especially because it usually means a trip to the vet. So when she tried to make me go solo the other night, I totally refused to leave the house.

HUMAN: Puglet, c'mon. What's your malfunction?
ME: Are we going to the vet?
HUMAN: It's 8:00 at night. The vet is closed. Let's go.
ME: There are vets that stay open all the time. Like a 7-11.
HUMAN: I promise, no vets.

Well, my human was telling the truth. We didn't go anywhere near the vet.... but we did go to my friend Frank's house.

Holy cowpies, me and Frank had soooo much fun!! It was kinda like Pug Sunday. But on a Thursday. And in someone's living room. We wrestled like Sumos and played tug-of-everything until we couldn't breathe. Then we went for a walk and got us some tasty frozen yogurt.

Good times!

Not only is Frank the coolest, funnest pug ever - he also has the coolest, funnest toy I have ever seen. If you like to chase the Evil Red Dot, you'd go nuts over Frank's flying heli-thingy. I want one so bad.

Check out this video of Frank playing with THE best toy on earth: