Ever eat pineapple? If not, it's kinda sweet and sour and hard and squishy all at the same time. Just like me and Dutch - says my human. Whatever. The stuff is definitely on the eatable list. So you'd think anything called a 'pineapple express' would be a good thing. Right?
Because humans are weird and complicate everything. Seriously. Because get this: a Pineapple Express has *nothing* to do with pineapples and everything to do with rain. Lots and lots and LOTS of rain.
Rain in the morning. Rain in the afternoon. Rain at night. And I know California needs rain and everything, but I don't. Because even with the best anti-rain coat in the universe, rain still sucks butt.
Sooo much butt that I refused to go outside until it stopped raining on me. Poor wet Dutch can't hold his pee like me, so he got Pineapple Express'd while I snored under the nice warm dry covers at home.